Does this chapter 1 hook you?

[Remixt]

Hey guys! I'm working on a novel. If you have the chance I would love some feedback on my introduction to my book. It's called "The Spell Thief"

If you don't have time or for some reason don't want to read it, then no big deal. I just thought I would try to get as many sources of feedback as I can.

I appreciate your input

 

 

Chapter1.docx

Edited August 25, 2016 by Remixt

[Straw he/him]

Very good! It would help if you added a sense of environment to the chase, things like "He turned a corner at lightning speed" or "The yelling of the guards was the only noise in the city" or "He dived behind a doorway and opened the scroll."

[Remixt]

13 hours ago, Straw said:

Very good! It would help if you added a sense of environment to the chase, things like "He turned a corner at lightning speed" or "The yelling of the guards was the only noise in the city" or "He dived behind a doorway and opened the scroll."

Thanks for the feedback I appreciate it!