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Vin &Elend vs. Legolas & Gimli


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Vin and Elend are currently in the Final Four of a "March Madness" style cage match against Legolas and Gimli. If they win this match they will most likely go to the finals against Sevro and Darrow from the Red Rising trilogy. (Which should be an interesting match up, if you ask me.)

 

However...they are currently losing by a minuscule amount, and today is the last day to vote! Everyone who is a fan of Brandon Sanderson, I believe that it is YOUR DUTY to defend Vin and Elend's honor! We all know that in a real fight Legolas and Gimli have nothing on our beloved duo. 

 

So please, get out and vote. It's your 17th Shard civic duty!!!!

 

(PS - You can only vote once per device, so if you can: vote on your phone, your computer, and your tablet!)

Edited by Titan Arum
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Vote, vote, vote! If you have a computer and a phone, vote using data on your phone and Wifi on your computer. It tracks your IP address, so if you're going to vote multiple times, do so through different devices on different wifis. Vin and Elend deserve to win this battle, and they're getting robbed

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I've done all that I can. I voted on my phone, computer, and every computer in the computer lab in the dorm building I'm staying in. This is a real shame, Vin and Elend got robbed by the Malazan fanbase, it appears. We still have a chance, but it is growing slimmer and slimmer. Please, if you haven't yet voted, PLEASE go and do so!

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Thanks to all who've voted so far! it's obvious that Vin/Elend are beginning to claw their way back. When I first created this thread they were at 49.52%...now they'are at 49.64%!!!

 

It's working, but we need to keep voting!! As many of our civics teachers/professors have said before: "Every vote counts!"

Edited by Titan Arum
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Looks like the poll is still open, we're less than 25 votes from winning! Seriously, have everyone vote that you possibly think would. I have a computer science class in less than an hour, so if they leave it open till then I can get about 50 votes, but they'll probably close it sooner than that. Vote, please!

Edited by Bugsy6912
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Looks like the poll is now closed. We made a valiant last ditch effort. We went from 49.52% to 49.74% in 30 minutes.

 

I should have posted this thread sooner! I thought the voting would go through the entire day. I feel this loss is on my shoulders. Sigh. 

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I'm trying not to rant, but this is absolute bull. I'm willing to bet that somebody on the side of Legolas and Gimli were using something to vote multiple times. And why did the Malazan fans all vote against us? Ugh, I'm just really mad right now, but I can't say the things going through my head without being banned. 

 

And Titan, this is in no way your fault. We all did the best that we could. We advertised it in the Random thread, we have several different threads for it, and in the end it was sadly not enough. As you said, it was a valiant effort.

 

Also, if Sevro and Darrow lose I'm going to flip out.

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This was written in the venue of the Stormlight Archive parody on the respective board.

 

LEGOLAS AND GIMLI      VS           VIN AND ELEND VENTURE

(The ONLY plausible explanation)

(The scene is set. Neither side has been informed of the other’s power. Considering this, the metal clad medieval fantasy duo are at a clear disadvantage.)

SUVUDU: Except we stripped the Mistborn of their vials! Oh yeah!

(Wait. That’s not fair.)

SUVUDU: Oh, and metal manipulation is?

(I’m not the idiot who set up the matchup. Besides, if you aren’t going to give them vials, at least give them armor. Good quality iron and steel armor.)

SUVUDU: Oh, because I’m an idiot! They’ll just eat their armor and win!

(I will quote you on that. “They’ll just eat their armor and win.”)

SUVUDU: Fine, they can have metal vials.

(Ahem.) (The Mistborn are armed with vials of metal and glass daggers as well, so the metal clad medieval fantasy duo are at a clear disadvantage.)

SUVUDU: FIGHT!

(LEGOLAS immediately draws, nocks, aims, and fire in under a heartbeat. Or, more correctly, one-tenth of the amount of time it takes for ELEND to swallow a vial of metals.)

ELEND: AUGH!

(LEGOLAS shoots him three more times. Then VIN starts deflecting his arrows.)

VIN: YOU MONSTERS!

(VIN lets out a massive STEELPUSH, blasting LEGOLAS and GIMLI across the arena. She hastily force feeds ELEND a vial. VIN burns BRONZE, and is relieved to hear him burning PEWTER. ELEND is alive. For now.)

VIN: I am Empress Vin Venture, Heir to the Survivor and Hero of Ages-

SAZED: Ahem, Mistress.

VIN: Former Hero of Ages, and a MISTBORN! You don’t stand a chance!

(LEGOLAS has realized that she pushed the metal on him, and drops his quiver, and slices off all his metal buckles with his knives. Depending on how he dressed that morning, this either has no effect on his look, or this fight has degenerated into fan service. GIMLI is in full armor.)

DUNGEON MASTER: Sure you can take that full-plate armor off. It’ll take … let’s see … yeah, around 100 rounds of combat for you to doff it. Plus one more round for the shield.

(VIN makes a DURALUMIN-fueled STEELPUSH ranged spell attack against GIMLI. VIN rolls a natural 20.)

(GIMLI is now two-dimensional art adorning the walls of the arena.)

LEGOLAS: (something in Elvish which sounds insulting and/or a curse)

VIN: COME HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

(LEGOLAS complies. VIN burns PEWTER, TIN, and COPPER for GOOD LUCK and tries to punch him in the face. LEGOLAS dodges.)

VIN: Dodge this!

(VIN flares IRON, pulling LEGOLAS’s arrows towards them. LEGOLAS’s ELF EARS hear the whistle the arrows make in midair, and he expertly dodges all of them.)

VIN (jaw drop): You on atium?

LEGOLAS: What? That’s perfectly normal for an elf!

(VIN reaches for her COIN POUCH. It’s not there.)

SUVUDU: Heh, heh.

(Ahem. SUVUDU dies horrifically. VIN reaches for her COIN POUCH, and uses a coin to LAUNCH herself in the air. LEGOLAS, mainly because he’s not BLIND, kicks the coin, and she falls to the ground.)

VIN: Think you’re clever?

(VIN raises her hand, and IRONPULLS the arrows towards her. She then STEELPUSHES them into the ground, embedding them. VIN launches herself on them.)

VIN: NOW WHAT, POINTY EARS?

(VIN raises her hand, and sends a STREAM OF COINS flying at LEGOLAS.)

LEGOLAS: I will protect those who cannot protect themselves!

(LEGOLAS flat-out RUNS UP the STREAM OF COINS, while blowing a RASPBERRY at PHYSICS)

KALADIN (jaw drop): He just stole Sylphrena from me! I knew the lighteyes would! I knew it!

(An ORC shows up, and KILLS Kaladin. This is UNCALLED FOR, so it will be RETCONNED.)

(Meanwhile, LEGOLAS flips over VIN in midair and starts flying around her, COMPLETELY IGNORING PHYSICS. A SINGLE BLACK WING sprouts from his back.)

CHORUS (One-Winged Angel): SEPHIROTH! SEPHIROTH!

VIN (realization): That’s why you both look like girls!

LEGOLAS/SEPHIROTH: THAT’S NOT TRUE! TELL ME WHAT YOU CHERISH MOST SO I CAN TAKE IT AWAY!

VIN: DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT ME?!

(VIN burns ATIUM. A short scene of GRAPHIC VIOLENCE later, LEGOLAS/SEPHIROTH is DEAD. Suddenly a PHOENIX DOWN falls on HIM/IT.)

LEGOLAS/SEPHIROTH (resurrected): YOU’VE MADE ONE OF THE CLASSIC BLUNDERS! THE MOST FAMOUS IS TO AVOID BEING WRITTEN BY GEORGE R. R. MARTIN, BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS IS NEVER BE WRITTEN BY BRANDON SANDERSON! YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO OBEY RULES! UNLIKE THE REST OF US! MWAHAHAHAHA!

(LEGOLAS/SEPHIROTH summons the TWO-STORY MASAMUNE from literally NOWHERE and LIMIT BREAKS into OCTOSLASH! VIN takes 9999 damage. Eight times. VIN dies.)

SUVUDU: END!

Final Tally:

KALADIN: -1

GIMLI: 0

ELEND: 0

VIN: 1

LEGOLAS/SEPHIROTH: 2

THE LAWS OF PHYSICS: NEGATIVE INFINITY

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1)This post was utterly hilarious. I literally started laughing and got weird looks from my entire family

2)You referenced the Matrix

3)You referenced the Princess Bride

(Plus, I like your signature)

I think you might be my new favorite person, Aeromancer

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1)This post was utterly hilarious. I literally started laughing and got weird looks from my entire family

2)You referenced the Matrix

3)You referenced the Princess Bride

(Plus, I like your signature)

I think you might be my new favorite person, Aeromancer

2) Really? Where? I saw Matrix, so I guess that must've been subconscious on my part.

3) Ah, but of course. It's the classic.

 

Um, thanks? I deal with this stuff using humor, as it beats just about every other way. I still see red every time I look at Sabriel & Mogget losing in round 1. Doesn't help that none of my friends know who they are.

Did you find the secret?

Edited by aeromancer
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(1 MILLION PAR-SHINRA infantryman swarm ELEND)

ELEND (hefting BUSTER SWORD): For honor! COME AND GET IT!

(ELEND kills them all but THREE, which all roll NATURAL 20. ELEND DIES)

Edited by aeromancer
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