Pinpoint Posted December 12, 2013 Report Share Posted December 12, 2013 (edited) A cloud fought its way through the sky with Cain riding like a titan on its surface. Throwing a dozen head sized lumps of rock into the air; he manipulated the particles of airborne water to catch the rocks in mid fall. The thick arms of cloud swirled around him pushing the rocks in a circle. People emptied the streets in the city below in a panic. To them it looked like a cloud the size of a large car was slowly moving towards them with mighty arms of water vapor swirling around the entire formation. Cain condensed the water in the air around him into cloud and the foundation beneath his feet. By constantly condensing and briefly compressing the cloud beneath his feet he was able stay atop the cloud. Water vapor flowed towards him making the effect that a funnel would. He was the opening and the gaseous water flowed to him, dropping from his feet as rain. In order to maintain the effect, he had to pull more water vapor into the cloud at the edges. Many of his kind chose to make an intimidating impression rather than to preserve the effectiveness of the cloud. They would make their cloud base up to the size of ten buildings put together. The result was that the humidity in the air was used up faster, not to mention the fact that it took a lot more effort. Wasted effort. When the vapor was gone they would drop from their throne above to collide with unfeeling mother earth. Smaller clouds lasted longer. As he approached the bright city he turned his attention to his spinning missiles. He sent 8 of them streaking towards the tallest building while keeping the other 4 in orbit around his cloud base. The eight projectiles struck the sky scraper near the middle of its expansive height. Solemnly, he watched as the middle of the palace exploded in a massive ball of fire. It was amazing what you could do to a building if you hit it in the right spot. He had made a calculated guess at where the huge mass of targeted cargo would be placed in the building. Upon the explosion, he knew he had been correct. Never, ever, stick that many explosives in a building. He thought. Several figures piled into the cities’ center Diamond, a large clearing in which the public executions were held. Arrows zipped upwards and ripped through his cloud base. Contemptuously, he sent the last four lumps of rock downwards. This time they were directed at the group of soldiers. The smartest soldiers fled the clearing, natural selection at its fastest. The rocks hit the ground in the midst of the remaining soldiers, bursting and sending sharp chunks of rock through flesh and bone. Screams sounded on the diamond. At last the screams weren’t those of the innocent. He condensed water vapor below him starting a pathway that headed towards the ground. It extended about 30 feet. Allowing himself to drop from his cloud base, he condensed the vapor just beneath his feet when he hit the pathway and continued to do so as he slid towards the ground. At least 20 feet ahead of him the pathway continued to form and water poured from under his feet as he slid. The cloud dipped inwards as Cain rode down the cool, white surface. As it neared the ground the pathway leveled out slowing him to the point where he could slide onto the ground without tripping. As his shoes ground into the dirt, he leaned backwards slightly and then knelt into the impact. After glancing at the incapacitated soldiers that had remained in the clearing, he stood upright and strode to where one of the smarter ones cowered. Even this well hidden soldier had large gashes in his body. Cain knelt and examined the silvery buckle that adorned the man’s white uniform like a silly ornament. With a fluid motion he ripped the buckle from the man’s chest. Desperation filled the man’s eyes and he cried out. “No! You can’t. That isn’t what you’re looking for!” Cain replied in a confident tone “I search to find the key of thunder, and where better to hide such a powerful tool then on a dying soldier as a silly ornament.” The soldier began to sob “How did you know? I was supposed to be protected. They promised me wealth! They promised that you wouldn’t know” In a desperate maneuver the man screamed, lunging forwards with a dagger in his hand. Cain broke the man’s neck with a powerful kick. No one else dared fight back. Another cloud condensed and Cain stepped onto it. The rain began to fall again. Cain was no longer in the city. So basically, this is me trying to be original. That is super hard to do these days. This is based off of a magic system that deals with the water cycle. People who receive the mutation (how they receive the mutation is a secret for now) J will be able to control water but only water in a certain stage of the water cycle. So they would be able to control, to a limited degree, one of the stages of a water cycle. Cain is a condenser. He can condense water vapor to form clouds. If he condenses the cloud enough he will form rain but he can’t control the rain he controls the water vapor. I guess that it is more about what form the water is in and less about the water cycle. (Yes I know the names are rather lame but it’s all I got for now) Condenser: controls water vapor and can condense water vapor Evaporator: controls liquid water and can evaporate water Interceptor: controls the absorption of water vapor by plants Transpirer: controls release of water vapor from plants (I’m considering combining this and interceptor) Depositor: can turn water vapor directly into ice Sublimator: can turn snow or ice directly into water vapor Cycler: controls the whole cycle Its super rough and I hope to add more to it but that’s it for now. I would love some feedback Edited January 6, 2014 by Pinpoint 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartbug Posted December 13, 2013 Report Share Posted December 13, 2013 Just for the names, try and get away from the -or thing. I like the idea, but maybe you could look at the Misting chart for inspiration. Try and look at what they do, and what people recognise them for. Yes, there is a Pulser, but don't forget the Thug or the Tineye. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinpoint Posted December 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2013 The names are just placeholders for now. I will be changing them. Thanks for the ideas from the misting chart 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todesengel Posted January 5, 2014 Report Share Posted January 5, 2014 Sounds interesting! I really like the idea to manipulate the water cycle specifically. Have you thought about various implications that this magic system will have on the world/universe? The culture(s) in the world/universe this magic system is based? What type of world will a book with this magic be like? I know you said this magic system is in the early stages, but I am still curious. I'm also curious if perhaps you would want to incorporate manipulating the various phases of matter for water as well. It seems like a few of those who have this magic can already do this (the Depositor and Sublimator). Perhaps have some who can turn ice into liquid water, and liquid water back into ice? And then the same for liquid water and water vapor. Or is that already being done as the Condenser and Evaporator? If this isn't the case, then is this something that would work well with your system? If not, then don't use it, obviously, but I'm just throwing something out there for you. Also, it would certainly be a lot easier to read the first paragraph you wrote if you broke it down into a few more paragraphs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haradion Drogon Posted January 5, 2014 Report Share Posted January 5, 2014 Not much to add. I only have a few minutes, so I have barley skimmed the wall of text, but it looks like a nice idea... Slightly confused by "Solid Water" being separate from Ice. But it looks interesting. Now, what are the limitations of the magic system? Is there a fuel that is used up to make this work? Does the system obey conventional laws of physics? If so, where does the energy go to / come from? To change the state of matter, energy must be applied which will accelerate the atoms. Also.. Is there a reason why the magic affects only water, and no other forms of matter? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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