The Real World - Cosmere

[Shivertongue he/him]

This is the completely-fabricated story...

 

...of seven strangers...

 

...picked to live in a house...

 

...work together and have their lives recorded...

 

...to find out what happens...

 

...when characters stop being polite...

 

...and start being real...

 

The Real World - Cosmere

 

This is two-parts fun speculation and one-part potential crossover fanfiction fodder, sprinkled with a dash of potential amusement and fanservice. Bake at 350 for twenty minutes, then coat with a thin glaze of slap-dash reasoning. Serves 3.2 million.

 

The Real World, for those fortunate enough to never have been exposed to it, is an American program that airs (aired?) on the now dubiously-named MTV. A "reality" show that was something of a precursor to those that currently inundate network and cable television, focusing on the lives of a group of twenty-somethings who have never before met, spending the summer living in a house, all the while having their fights, romances, trials, tribulations, and immeasurable idiocy recorded for the amusement of others. It has been copied, parodied, ridiculed, and praised for nearly thirty years.

 

Now, it's our turn.

 

Here's what I want to see from you wonderfully inventive people.

 

• Decide where the house should be - some city or town on a published cosmere world, be it Elantris, Hallandren, Elendel, or wherever.

 

• Pick seven characters from any of the published cosmere novels (and I think I'll allow Alcatraz as well, just for funsies) and put them in the house. To make this more interesting, I'd like to stay away from primary viewpoint characters. We already know their story, and we know who they are. If you really want to, you can have ONE, but everyone else has to be secondary or lower. Give them a chance to shine. And try to be diverse; not only with genders, but with age, race, and world of origin. 

 

• Argue engage in friendly debate with other posters as to why your selection is better than theirs. 

 

• If you like, speculate as to the kind of mundane problems that might arise when you throw these characters together, and why it would be entertaining. Does anyone hook up? Does anyone fight? Is Blushweaver eating all the peanut butter? Is Moash not doing his share of the dishes? Can someone make Denth PLEASE observe the "no pets" rule?

 

 

Have some fun with this, and don't take it too seriously. This isn't about "who would win," but about "who would be amusing to see in this situation?" I have my own ideas that I'll eventually get to posting, but before I do, I'd like to see some of your cast choice for...

 

 

The Real World - Cosmere

 

 

 

[little wilson she/her]

Okay, after far more thought than I initially thought this would take, I have formed my ideas.

 

For locale, I'm picking Hallandren, with Kharbranth and Elantris taking a very close second and third, respectively. In fact, Kharbranth is so close, I very well might be persuaded to world-hop the group there with a convincing argument. Or even a not-so convincing argument....

 

The housemembers. This was the hardest part. There was a great many considered, but....well. Many were called, but few were chosen. Here are those lucky few: Zane, Ranette, Tonk Fah, Blushweaver, Lopen, Rysn, and Kaise.

 

Wikipedia told me that the housemembers are given season-long tasks. Although we weren't told to figure out a task for them to accomplish, I decided to do so anyway. The task is thus: Organizing the First Annual Cosmere Olympics. This includes choosing events and finding the athletes to participate. But mostly just deciding which events to include since this is the first.

 

In another attempt to stay true to the show (at least Wikipedia's version of the show, since I have never seen it), I decided they needed someone to conduct the weekly confessionals. At first, I thought perhaps this could be Hoid, but then I decided Brandon Sanderson would work better.

 

Therefore, let's get down to the nitty-gritty. I can totally see Ranette and Blushweaver hooking up. I can also see Blushweaver and Zane getting into a heated argument about her divinity. And Rysn joining that argument. Kaise probably watches it, and offers some know-it-all information supporting either side, infuriating everyone involved because of her insufferable knowledge. Zane and Tonk Fah will have a great bromance. Lopen will try to befriend everyone, and be ready with a quip any time he's around and tension gets a little too high.

 

Tonk Fah wants an animal torturing event. Everyone, except Zane, is absolutely against this idea. Zane doesn't say it, but he'd like to include "people" in the definition of the "animal" part of the animal-torturing event. After Rysn, Kaise, and Lopen catch Tonk Fah torturing animals--they catch him separately, and at various stages in the torture process--he finally flips and decides that he's done with inflicting pain on animals. He's upgrading to human torture. Again. And he goes after Kaise. He doesn't succeed in really doing anything to her, except scaring the heeby-jeebies out of her, but he gets kicked out of the house. And is replaced by Zu.

 

Zu doesn't even get along with Lopen. He came in so late and is so contrary, no one likes him. Tension rises in the house so fast Lopen has trouble thinking of quips to dispel it. Zu gets in a few arguments, mostly due to religious and personality differences, although he does get rather heated when Rysn makes what he considers a racial slur about him, to him. Things go downhill really fast after that, and everyone just kind of avoids him. 

 

And then, when it comes time for the Games, Zane takes it upon himself to declare a new event -- Death-Dealing -- and tries to make himself the uncontested champion of it.

Edited May 5, 2013 by little wilson

[nikomis he/him]

Therefore, let's get down to the nitty-gritty. I can totally see Ranette and Blushweaver hooking up.

 

Generally I don't ship. I may make an exception for this pair.