WorldSync - An Overview/Premise

[Beowulf she/her]

Hi, friends!

 

This is an outline of my book idea. I'm writing it right now, and I can't wait to tell everyone! I hope you enjoy it!

 

 

WorldSync

---------------------------

 

Backround:

 

Only two beings, one might call them gods, existed in this universe. A father a son. The father loves his son very much, and wishes to tell him all about the universe and it's secrets. The son wants to make his dad proud more than anything else. 

 

When the boy got old enough, the father decided to teach him the ways of life and what it means to the existence of the universe. The boy watches as his father raises his hand and a solar system, a sun and 5  appears in a blink of a godly eye.

 

"Son," he said "This is your first test in succeeding me.". The father had grown quite old in the last millennium. "I will not be here forever, so I must teach you. Create bodies of animals. Show me your creativity." The boy did as the father asked, and created a vast variety of creatures. The father was very impressed, but something was missing, something important. The creatures did not move, they were lifeless. The father took a deep breath and breathed a godly breath, full of life. The creatures blinked and stirred. 

 

"I have much to teach you. You have done me proud. I love you" and they embraced.

 

Several hundred years later, a much wiser son and a much older father prepared for another lesson.

 

"I grow tired of these teachings, father. Let me go throughout the universe and prove myself. "And the father denied him. Then let me just visit my creations. Just for a bit. And the son raced down to the planet. 

 

The planet was huge, and teeming with life the son had created and life the father breathed. The original creatures the Father had given life, called The Alpha Generation, were immortal, but not indestructible, and their sons and daughters were mortal. 

 

A peculiar species called the Sunborn, grew jealous of the son, and wanted his vast power for themselves. The Sunborn are glowing forms of pure energy, with a unique symbol on their faces.  They attacked the Son as he drew near. The Son, never thinking his own creatures, his own children would attack him, was powerless. 

 

Other creatures of the Son were near. These creatures had physical bodies, unlike the Sunborn. These Alphas had seen their creator get attacked. Only the bravest of these Alphas would help. They would be soon known as the Monkey, Horse, Cat and Wolf. They fought the Sunborn off, and the Son was grateful.

 

So grateful, that he gave them the best gift he could give; a sacred body and mind. They could think like the Son and Father, and they now had bodies modeled after them too.

 

The Son went to show his dad what he had done. The Father was very angered at what he had done, but also very scared. What if they rose up against him?

 

A deep voice appeared around them. "The first prophecy has been fulfilled, and a deal broken. You and everything else will be obliterated." A sudden lack of light appeared around them, black tendrils, an absence of light, surrounded everything. The Father, fearing for his life, and everything else in existence, needed to stop Him. He breathed his power out in a huge breath, and everything was destroyed.

 

But the prophecy is the single driving force of everything, and it must be fulfilled. The earth the Father had created split into 4 pieces and now existed in 4 dimensions, with the 4 "risen" creatures inhabiting different ones.

 

The Prophecy is in motion.

 

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed this. I know it has errors and plot holes, but I'll be developing it more in the future. I've got the premise of the first book already finalized, with a lot more surprises, I promise!

 

-Aegis

 

 

P.S- All criticism is welcome here. Please tell me everything that's on your mind!

 

 

[Robinski he/him]

This is interesting, but I do have some confusion in places, and therefore some questions and observations.

 

Firstly, is this the correct arrangement of things?

 

             Father

                  l

                  l

               Son

                  l

                  l

      ---------------------

      l                         l

      l                         l

Alphas              Sunborn

      l

      l

Mortals

 

 

Secondly, lack of light rising up means darkness, right? I think that would be clearer

 

Third, where did 'Him' come from all of a sudden? You said at the beginning there were only two being, so 'Him' seems to come out of nowhere. Also, 'Him' says everything will be destroyed then the father destroys everything to avoid everything being destroyed? That's how it came across to me.

 

Fourth, if the father destroys everything, how to the Four Alphas survive? Also, you talk about four dimensions - which sounds like the three spatial dimensions plus time - but I guess you mean four different 'spaces' - but are they parallel universes, I'm wondering how they exist in time.

 

I appreciate it's an outline, so you have a novel length to sort out all the details, but I would say that clarity in the early sections will be important as the set up could be confusing.L

 

I look forward to reading it!

[rdpulfer he/him]

I also think it sounds very interesting - I like that it merges a vaguely Judeo-Christian Father/Son dynamic into a very cool cosmic story. I do agree with Robinski that some kinks need to be worked out. I'd also add that you might need to clarify which the Father is afraid of - the Sons' Alphas rising up against him, or the Prophecy itself? Both are very cool motivations, but both require a lot of build-up. Still, I can't wait to read this in finished form. Best of luck! 

[Mandamon he/him]

Beowulf--looks like an interesting idea. The split into 4 pieces reminds me a little of the Deathgate Cycle (Weiss and Hickman).

Robinski has a good point in that these are two godlike beings, but something else is more powerful than they are. So there's some extra worldbuilding needed as to why there's some other god that's more powerful and they don't about him.

What sort of characters are you thinking of writing about? I ask because there's a lot of magical/strong creatures here, and it's often not as interesting to read about someone all-powerful. Or rather (as Sanderson says) the limitations are more interesting than the abilities. So if your POV character is the son, or one of the Sunborn or Alphas, I want to know about their limitations, not their special powers.

Something that's helped me a lot recently is to figure out where you're going with the story. There's a prophecy, which begs the question of who made it, and why, but is the object of the story to fulfill or block the prophecy, or something else entirely? If it's something else, then you've given us backstory or a prologue, but nothing about the main plot.

Anyway, this was just some rambling thoughts I had, so take them or leave them. I'll be interested to see some more fleshed out parts of the story.

Edited April 20, 2015 by Mandamon