Popular Post Kobold King he/him Posted February 8, 2015 Popular Post Posted February 8, 2015 Warbreaker spoilers follow. Gather members, and hear the tale of Darkbinder. Here is the tale of an living object, devoted singularly to its task for ages and ages. Here is its tale of life, woe, and ultimate defeat. Many know of how the Manywar came to an end. Man fought man and Lifeless fought Lifeless, and at the Battle of Twilight Falls, a new and devastating weapon was unveiled. Nightblood, a sword seemingly forged out of shadow and death itself. The carnage it wrought was unspeakable. The war ended shortly thereafter, as none could hope to oppose the awesome might of the Awakened blade. Few know, however, that in the last days before the final truce was decided, a team of Pahn Kahl Awakeners labored to counteract the might of Nightblood. Using their own cunning and knowledge of Awakening, they endowed a rope with a thousand Breaths and gave it a single command: "Bind our enemies." Thus Darkbinder was born. A fair and golden as Nightblood was black, his sole purpose in soul and spirit was to bind and captivate the enemies of the Pahn Kahl. Any who might work against them was to be ensnared. Even after the treaty ended, Darkbinder continued to work on his purpose. His mind coiled around a single target: Vasher. The man who wielded the dark sword. The man whose weapons had devastated the Pahn Kahl. The man who even now worked against them. For years, Darkbinder slithered like a serpent in pursuit of his prey. Across kingdoms and continents he hunted, always staying just out of sight. Like an anaconda spun from flax, he waited for the perfect time to strike. That opportunity came in T'Telir, where he found his ancient foe engaged in a mysterious task. The Awakened rope rose like a harvest-colored cobra from a dark alley, prepared to vanquish his long-hunted quarry. "Are you the one they called Darkbinder?" Vasher asked solemnly. "I am," the rope replied. "And I am here at long last to bind you and your soulsucking travesty forevermore!" "I cannot allow that," Vasher said, his voice saddened and weary. "Flee, rope, and find new purpose in your artificial life." "Never!" Darkbinder declared. "It's you or me, now or never!" "Very well," Vasher intoned. "I regret what I must now do." And with those words, he unsheathed the shadowed sword Nightblood, which giggled in unnatural glee at the forthcoming destruction of evil. Their fight waged on and on. Darkbinder would coil over his bitter enemy, only for the Awakener to slip out of his hold and press onwards offensively. The rope dodged swing after swing of the abominable sword. But over time, Darkbinder made the slightest mistake. His dodge was too slow, and Nightblood cleaved through his head. Like a python with its head sliced through the front, the rope writhed and hissed in agony. In a moment Vasher had his hands on its golden coils, and tied the rope into a thick and unbearably tight knot. Seeing that the rope would not live much longer, Vasher tossed it aside into the street. "I am sorry, one they called Darkbinder," Vasher called over his shoulder as he turned his back. "You left me no choice. The Manywar is over." And he strode away from the site of their duel. Darkbinder lay in the street for quite some time, the Breaths leaking from his form. His color became steadily less golden; no longer was he flax but a sickly grey. All he could think of was that he had failed. His lifelong purpose was shattered. The enemies of the Pahn Kahl were unbound and free to roam. And now he himself lay in an undecipherable tangle, his front end torn apart by the dark sword. In time, the steward Bluefingers happened to come this way. Knowing much of esoteric Pahn Kahl history, he recognized the shaking and trembling rope on sight. "Are you the one they called Darkbinder?" Bluefingers inquired, his voice soft and reverent. A cracking realization struck the Awakened rope straight through his soul. No longer was he Darkbinder. Now... he was nothing. Had he a human face, tears would streamed down from his eyes. "No," he croaked in response. "I'm... a frayed knot." And with those parting words, the final Breath passed from his mangled form. Thus ends the tale of Darkbinder, the living rope. 34
Slater he/him Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 "I'm... a frayed knot." The final words of a goddamn literary hero. 5
Lightsworn Panda he/him Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 What did I just read... Kobold, that was the best work-up to the worst pun ever. 11
Popular Post TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted February 8, 2015 Popular Post Posted February 8, 2015 There is a comic strip called Pearls Before Swine. This story reminded me of some of them. You'll see why when you open the spoiler. 17
Redbird he/him Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Even without that beautiful pun at the end, it was a pretty great story. Also I accidentally down voted Lightsworn Panda, can someone fix that? 2
Blaze1616 he/him Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 ...I'm a frayed knot... ...I'm afraid not... Got it? 2
natc Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I don't get the pun. Colors! I didn't think anyone would actually not see the pun. Puns work best when you read it to yourself either mentally or out loud.
Anarkitty she/her Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 Puns so bad they make your mama slap you upside the head. C'mere, boy. 1
Eccentric Hero he/him Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 This is now my headcannon. Also, this reminds me of The Longest Joke In the World. I think that the sides are hidden ads, so be careful where you click. (Can't tell because of Adblock.) 2
Elenion he/him Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 As the user spoke the final necromantic words, the ancient thread ascended from its dusty crypt where it had lain for millenia 17 months.
Eccentric Hero he/him Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 9 hours ago, Elenion said: As the user spoke the final necromantic words, the ancient thread ascended from its dusty crypt where it had lain for millenia 17 months. Oh god. I didn't realize how old this was. Well, I can thank Kobold's mom for letting me see this. 2
Sunbird she/her Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 On 9/11/2016 at 2:52 PM, Eccentric Hero said: This is now my headcannon. Also, this reminds me of The Longest Joke In the World. I think that the sides are hidden ads, so be careful where you click. (Can't tell because of Adblock.) I just spent 30 minutes reading that whole thing. It is now 12:30 am, and I have to get up at 7. XD Also, I did not see any ads. 1
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