gjustice99 she/her Posted January 10, 2015 Report Share Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) WARNING: Some people may find these mean. Please don't downvote me for that, I did not make these up, I just want to share them with those that will find them funny. 1. Why did the fish fall off the bike? Because its a fish. 2. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally. 3. Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. 4. Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but it's just a gardening fact. 5. What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot, there were three movies. 6. A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted potential danger in the situation. 7. What is brown and sticky? A stick. 8. How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her. 9. Ask me if I'm an orange. "Are you an orange?" Nope, I'm a person. 10. Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. 11. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick. 12.Whats green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels. 13. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? Both of them have handlebars, except for the duck. 14. What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? Neither of them are police officers. 15. What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming. 16. What do you call a fly with no wings? It's still a fly, though the irony is unfortunate. Edited January 10, 2015 by gjustice99 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RawToast225 he/him Posted January 10, 2015 Report Share Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) Of course you would be the one who got this started on the forum. Of course. How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family. A duck walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "What's your poison?" And the duck said nothing. Because it was a duck. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Knock knock. Who's there? Danny! Danny who? Danny then broke down in tears because his mother's Alzheimer's had progressed to the point where she could no longer remember him. What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?" A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse replied, "I have cancer." Edited January 10, 2015 by Arthur Dent 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjustice99 she/her Posted January 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2015 Why did the bear turn red? He was shot by a hunter. Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. How do you make a bus stop? Throw small children in front of it. What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch the top of his coffin. Helium walked into a bar and orders a drink. He silently wonders why his mother gave him the unlikely name of Helium, for which he was often bullied as a child. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted January 14, 2015 Report Share Posted January 14, 2015 8. How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her. I don't get it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kipper he/him Posted January 14, 2015 Report Share Posted January 14, 2015 (edited) I don't get it?Are you blond?Three blind mice walked into a bar, but to derive humor from that would be exploitative, because they are unaware of their surroundings. What's black and white and read all over? A newspaper. What's green and yellow and red all over? A frog in a blender. Edited January 14, 2015 by inexorablePanda 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Are you blonde?Wow i really walked straight into that. Never mind me.... 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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