Fixing the Stormlight archive

[Frustration]

I was running a thought experiment some time ago about what could be improved upon in the SA, so I thought I'd let you see my thoughts here as I do have mild Sunlit man spoilers.

 

WoK:

This one is honestly really good. I'd probably just move the Shallan sections around as right not they are in really annoying locations. I'd also see about giving her more to do as Shallan spends most of the book not making any progress towards her goals.

 

WoR:

Jasnah's fake death isn't very impactful to the story, and weakens the ending with three fake out deaths one right after the other. We should get some confirmation that she's alive, and probably have her and Shallan speak once she's been transported to Shadesmar. Some of Shallan's dialogue could also be cleaned up a little but that's less of an issue.

 

OB:

Shallan's breakdown doesn't hit like it should, and her whole character is off for most of the book. Elhokar's death is also done so poorly I didn't believe he was really dead until almost two years later. The fused are also jokes, they need to be shown to actually be capable of serious damage. Dalinar kind of sucked up all of the emotional beats in the story, which made his arc really good, but left almost everyone else feeling flat. Unless Brandon wants Jasnah to be evil she also should probably have talked to Renarin before trying  to kill him.

 

RoW:

The previous entries could all have used a little work, but it's here that big changes start being necessary. Despite the book being about Willshapers and having her flashbacks Venli is a surprisingly passive character. I'd honestly restructure the book, taking several of Kaladin's PoVs as well as most of Adolin's and give them to Venli. She also needs to be more active. I think her finding Kaladin and trying to help him, while also not getting caught would be a far more compelling story than what we got. It would also explain why the Radiants were so willing to let them go at the end of the book. And finally there are some mild inconsistencies between the WoR interludes, and what we saw in the flashbacks that need reconciled. 

Kaladin's depression is really mild in its depiction this book. WoK did a much better job with it. I know part of it was intentional, but it still needs work.

Shallan's entire story for RoW is just a poorly done recreation of Dalinar's in OB at best, and an exercise in futility at worst. She spends the whole time saying that no one will love the real her, and I still remember thinking that there was no way the reveal would live up to it. I was right. She spends the whole book worrying about Formless, which was poorly revealed to just be Shallan the whole time. She worries about Ghostblood spies, which never existed. And the Testament reveal was rather weak.

Navani spends the entire book being an idiot. Raboniel was one of the most obvious liars I've ever read in fiction, and Navani still fell for it. I know that more than anything Brandon just wanted to make anti-light but he could have done that without making Navani a gullible pushover in the process.

Dalinar does almost nothing this book, which is really unfortunate.

Once again the Fused are complete pushovers. There were almost zero negative long term consequences as a result of their actions, despite the Fused holding the Tower for most of the book. They had victory in their hands and still managed to lose. None of the heroes died, no one was injured, nothing was lost. Huge letdown. If Odium was smart he would have slaughtered everyone in the tower, or at least have evacuated them to Kholinar as prisoners. Keeping the Radiants alive makes a little sense to keep the spren from bonding someone else, but the humans had no reason to continue to be there.

Additionally just on a worldbuilding side I would have made all of the Fused much more powerful in direct combat. Most of their powers suck, and need overhauled. I've detailed my thoughts on what they should be in other posts, but I'm still disappointed with what we got.

 

WaT:

Do I even have to say it? There's a lot wrong with this one.

The dialogue and prose needs quite dramatic alterations, as do Brandon's poor attempts at humor.

Kaladin needs a better end goal than just "Help Szeth." Even with Dalinar's instructions I feel like Kaladin would at least try and be more helpful to the Radiants efforts. Brandon even had it set up perfectly for Kaladin to try curing Ishar so Ishar could help Dalinar. He could have even had Wit message Kaladin and say they need Ishar to make a Perpendicularity because Dalinar is stuck in the SR. Either would have given much more urgency or at least more weight to what Kaladin was doing.

Cut some of the needless bloat. Adolin's chapters could be trimmed down a little, as could some of Jasnah's, and almost all of Rlain and Renarin. I know Brandon was setting up for book 6 there, but there's still a lot that isn't necessary.

Brandon needs to stop holding back with the Fused and Unmade. Yelig-nar shows up for the third time in the series and we skip over that like it's nothing. The Azimir sections did a good job of showing how outmatched the heroes are. Narak needed the same treatment, but instead felt rather hollow when they had to retreat.

Some plot holes need filling. There should have been some mention that they couldn't lock the Azimir Oathgate. And Sigzil needed to swear the fourth ideal to get his armor as we saw in TSM. Brandon could have easily done that by altering the point where Sigzil breaks his oath to be him considering that and the deciding to try and swear the fourth ideal instead. Not only would that have been a cooler scene, and it would also have given him the power needed to overcome the fabrial, but it would have let Brandon pull the heartstrings as Moash killed Sigzil's spren anyway.

Gavilnor. Above everything else I hated this the most. Gavilnor was a terrible choice of a champion, and almost anything else would have been better.

 

But enough of my thoughts, how about the rest of you?

Edited 3 hours ago by Frustration

[Ascended Grubberfly He/Him]

I have opinions, but I don’t know how influenced they are by the community, but I’ll share anyways.

WoK:

I liked this book, and looking back I think these are the best Shallan chapters. I kinda liked that Shallan only stole the Soulcaster after the lesson in philosophy. I loved that lesson.

WoR:

Shallan’s chapters felt empty, and Jasnah’s death limits Shallan’s soulcasting and doesn’t do anything for the story.

OB:

Dalinar’s flashbacks are my favorite chapters in the whole series, maybe even the whole Cosmere. Terrifying man.
In retrospect, I wish Elhokar got a redemption arc. Maybe if Jasnah didn’t fake her death and Elhokar was a fake out, it would be better. Why do you think Elhokar’s death was bad?

I wish Renarin did stuff. He doesn’t exist till book 5, and I have issues with that I’ll mention in a sec.

RoW:

This was a Venli book? She was super passive, then kinda helped in minor ways and had her own thing happening, but not a big mover of the story.
I liked the chapter where anti-light is discovered because I felt an energy. Doesn’t make sense why Navani would make it while captured by the enemy, but I enjoyed it.

Shallan’s chapters are unenjoyable, she was constantly saying everyone would hate her if they knew her “even deeper and darker secret” and she doesn’t ever choose to make progress herself. Every other time she is forced to out of necessity rather than personal choice. Except maybe in book two, but the earlier books were better for Shallan anyways.

Dalinar did have a whole book to himself, I didn’t miss him here.

The Fused are rarely dangerous. They never harm the characters in meaningful ways and don’t work as villains. The Pursuer gets Final Killed by El, WHO NEVER DOES ANYTHING OF NOTE IN BOOK 5!

WaT:

Don’t know much about prose and writing quality, but I still have opinions.

El does nothing. Ever. We know nothing about him, and he just kinda exists.

Adolin’s chapters were enjoyable, because I like Adolin, but could have been shortened for the sake of keeping the size down.

Shattered plains felt like Azir but without Adolin. I remember thinking “ugh, where are the good chapters?” anytime Kaladin or Adolin were off screen.

Szeth was so much fun. I liked his flashbacks, his development, and his big moment at the end. Same with Nightblood, I love Nightblood.

Kaladin is Kaladin, and did let me see more of Szeth, so I liked his chapters. It did annoy me with the whole “who is Szeth’s Tien because I need to connect to him in that way and OMG SZETH IS TIEN!” was annoying because it felt repetitive iirc.

Moash gets eyes after losing his eyes? Bruh, let a punishment stay.

Sigzil. I don’t like his final chapters. He rejects his Oaths out of nowhere, when his spren could have just flown out of range of Moash. It felt like Brandon needed to set up for Sunlit Man, but didn’t write it well. 

Our only two characters of the 5th ideal either reject their Oaths or become a Herald? It makes sense for them both to do their stuff, but I want to know if that ideal does anything.

Adolin thing: he loses his leg, gets a super good replacement, doesn’t get to watch his child grow up, then grins the ability to call his wife? He loses basically nothing, and I heard this on SHARDCAST I think but I agree with it: it would be interesting to see him be an absent father when he swore to not be like his dad. It would be a cool struggle for him to go through to develop his character, but that is almost entirely removed by the seon.

Renarin and Rlain:

Spoiler

I did not like this relationship. I am not super hyped for relationships in general, but I had other issues with this one.

First, I do not fully agree with lgbtq+. This does not mean I hate the people, in fact there are plenty of people who fall into these categories and you are all great people, but I do not agree with it. So I am already a little against this relationship.

Second, there is no setup for this. Renarin and Rlain have very little time on screen, and most of the time it is about how alien they are to the rest of society. It makes sense that they would be friends and find companionship in that, but not courtship.

Third, it has no impact on the story imo. This feels like Brandon added a gay character for adding the sake of a gay character, and used BAM as a plot device to justify it. I think that BAM could have been convinced without them needing to be a couple.

 

[The White Drake]

2 hours ago, Frustration said:

And Sigzil needed to swear the fourth ideal to get his armor as we saw in TSM.

The platespren we see there aren't windspren, so that's his Skybreaker armor, which he'll presumably obtain later with Aux.

1 hour ago, Ascended Grubberfly said:

Our only two characters of the 5th ideal either reject their Oaths or become a Herald? It makes sense for them both to do their stuff, but I want to know if that ideal does anything.

Shallan reached Fifth Ideal I thought. Sanderson is saving seeing what it does for later, but later will be a decade from now.

[Ascended Grubberfly He/Him]

3 minutes ago, The White Drake said:

Shallan reached Fifth Ideal I thought. Sanderson is saving seeing what it does for later, but later will be a decade from now.

Shallan is also part Herald and has a double bond. Plus it’s Shallan so mechanically who knows what she’s doing.

In all honesty, we’ll probably see some 5th ideal stuff a lot more in the future.

[Frustration]

12 minutes ago, The White Drake said:

The platespren we see there aren't windspren, so that's his Skybreaker armor, which he'll presumably obtain later with Aux.

He said that he had armor spren from both his first and second set of ideals

12 minutes ago, The White Drake said:

Shallan reached Fifth Ideal I thought. Sanderson is saving seeing what it does for later, but later will be a decade from now.

Unless I missed something big she did not, only her fourth