Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
Just now, Ink and Embers said:

Oooo, awesome!!!! I like the suspense. Kore like old Persephone?

Yuppers

that’s part of her inspiration in vibe/abilities

Posted
12 minutes ago, Rynturning_Light said:

Yuppers

that’s part of her inspiration in vibe/abilities

Cool! What can she do?

Posted
1 hour ago, Ink and Embers said:

Cool! What can she do?

Chlorokinesis (plant manipulation)

The plants she grows also responds to her mental state. Positive/good emotions create green health plants. Negative emotions (mostly anger) create dead thorned vines

Her main plant it lavender

Posted

more snippets

yay?

Spoiler

A copy of a copy of a copy

How long can the cycle go?

Until a creation drifts so far from its creator that it is a copy no longer

Until the last remnants of whatever image it was made in fades and all that is left is pure, unrestrained originality

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
Quote

When Kore coughed, blood splattered onto the ground before her. That hit had done more than she’d anticipated, leaving her collapsed on the ground a few feet away from him.

Most, at this point, would take their battered physic and blurring vision as a sign to surrender, to find a way to stop the fight. She couldn’t. No, she refused. 

This, this exact moment, has been all she’s been working toward for the past five years. Building up the revolution, giving the people of the Reach hope, sacrificing every want and need to become a paragon of that hope, it all led to here. And…she was failing. 

But, she would be a fool to claim that the only reason for her stubbornness. No, the primary reason behind her refusal to surrender was the group of four currently leading the retreat away from the Singularity. She couldn’t surrender. She had to hold out, for them.

Kore worked to pull herself up. 

As she got her knees under her, his footsteps started towards her. They crunched against the broken marble floor. She could almost feel the smirk on his face.

Kore bared her teeth, and forced herself up onto her feet. 

I'm supposing you're writing an opening scene of a novel. The impression I got is certainly Misborn-like, but somehow the first image passing inside my head is a futuristic dystopia. It's great if readers got more clarity on the setting.

Also, on the first mention of "his," the practice of mention the pronoun before addressing the identity of the person is a method of suspense, to give readers curiosity.

Quote

When Kore coughed, blood splattered onto the ground before her. That hit had done more than she’d anticipated, leaving her collapsed on the ground a few feet away from him.

Most, at this point, would take their battered physic and blurring vision as a sign to surrender, to find a way to stop the fight. She couldn’t. No, she refused. 

This, this exact moment, has been all she’s been working toward for the past five years. Building up the revolution, giving the people of the Reach hope, sacrificing every want and need to become a paragon of that hope, it all led to here. And…she was failing. 

But, she would be a fool to claim that the only reason for her stubbornness. No, the primary reason behind her refusal to surrender was the group of four currently leading the retreat away from the Singularity. She couldn’t surrender. She had to hold out, for them.

Kore worked to pull herself up. 

As she got her knees under her, his footsteps started towards her. They crunched against the broken marble floor. She could almost feel the smirk on his face.

Kore bared her teeth, and forced herself up onto her feet. 

I'm supposing you're writing an opening scene of a novel. The impression I got is certainly Misborn-like, but somehow the first image passing inside my head is a futuristic dystopia. It's great if readers got more clarity on the setting.

Also, on the first mention of "his," the practice of mention the pronoun before addressing the identity of the person is a method of suspense, to give readers curiosity.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...