Dad jokes, bad puns, and everything else

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

I don’t think this has been put here yet so…here it is!

Please share your dad jokes, bad jokes, puns, stuff you’ve collected from other people, everything else…yeah it’s in the title you get the point

I’ll start:

Did y’all hear the Beastie Boys are releasing a 5-part anthology??

Parts A-D are free, but you have to fight for your right to Part E

[Vyzkel He/Him]

6 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I don’t think this has been put here yet so…here it is!

Please share your dad jokes, bad jokes, puns, stuff you’ve collected from other people, everything else…yeah it’s in the title you get the point

I’ll start:

Did y’all hear the Beastie Boys are releasing a 5-part anthology??

Parts A-D are free, but you have to fight for your right to Part E

YES LETS GOOOOOO

You know the weight of a rainbow? No one knows, but its pretty light.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

@Through The Living Glass

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

Where did little Suzie when she's got lost in the minefield?

Everywhere.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

dad jokes:
My wife told me she couldn’t live with a man who had no sense of direction. 
So I packed my bags and right. 
 

My daughter walked up to me and said “dad, you never listen to anything I say.” What a weird way to start a conversation. 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

5 hours ago, Halcyon The Only said:

@Through The Living Glass

*gasp*

I went for a morning jog yesterday.

I couldn't figure out why it was so dark, but then something dawned on me.

[TwinStorm He/Him]

Yesterday I purchased a world map, and gave my wife a dart and said to her, "throw this and wherever it lands, I'm taking you for vacation."

Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

I hugged my son and he said “dad why are you hugging me” I said “well your mother told me to get better at embracing my mistakes”

Edited February 16, 2025 by Heraldoflove

[Keke They/he]

On 2/16/2025 at 11:14 AM, Heraldoflove said:

I hugged my son and he said “dad why are you hugging me” I said “well your mother told me to get better at embracing my mistakes”

…. naw

also

anything @Through The Living Glass says

[echo74 she/her]

ooh my favorite thing ever to do

is whenever i trip

i just lock eyes with whoever's closest

and say "did i just fall for you?"

[Keke They/he]

Just now, echo74 said:

ooh my favorite thing ever to do

is whenever i trip

i just lock eyes with whoever's closest

and say "did i just fall for you?"

That’s the best

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

21 minutes ago, echo74 said:

ooh my favorite thing ever to do

is whenever i trip

i just lock eyes with whoever's closest

and say "did i just fall for you?"

That’s hilarious 

[dezaS Hᴇ/Hɪᴍ]

a

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

5 hours ago, Thee insane said:

…. naw

also

anything @Through The Living Glass says

*drum noises*

5 hours ago, echo74 said:

ooh my favorite thing ever to do

is whenever i trip

i just lock eyes with whoever's closest

and say "did i just fall for you?"

HAH!

[Through the Living Hope]

What’s green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree?

A pool table 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

A writ of safe passage from His Majesty, the King of England

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

55 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

A writ of safe passage from His Majesty, the King of England

wait-

that's- actually really good

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

32 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

wait-

that's- actually really good

Courtesy of the internet, I can’t take credit

I just come across these

Edited February 28, 2025 by Kaladin Stormcursed

[dezaS Hᴇ/Hɪᴍ]

My ex-wife still misses me...

but her aim is gettin' better!

Hyuk hyuk hyuk 

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

14 minutes ago, Critically insane said:

My ex-wife still misses me...

but her aim is gettin' better!

Hyuk hyuk hyuk 

HAHAHA I LOVE GRAVITY FALLLSSSSS 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Two today:

 

Pun enters a room, kills 10 people

Pun in, 10 dead

 

Where do mansplainers get their water?

From a well, actually

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Two today:

 

Pun enters a room, kills 10 people

Pun in, 10 dead

 

Where do mansplainers get their water?

From a well, actually

oh my gosh

those are so good

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Did y’all know cows kill more people than sharks?

Honestly, I was just surprised that cows kill any sharks at all

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Did y’all know cows kill more people than sharks?

Honestly, I was just surprised that cows kill any sharks at all

reminds me of the house joke lol

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

reminds me of the house joke lol

?