1-27-25-ginger_reckoning-"A song for silence" sub 13-3255 words-L

[ginger_reckoning]

Hey all! Hope your January's been okay. Thanks again for reading. 

 

I realized that there's a point of confusion in this sub. Last time, I had S go inside the room with A, but I forgot I went back and changed it so A went in alone. So I'll be going back to rewrite the previous few pages to reflect this sub. 

 

Other than that, my notes for this section were "A starts to make a genuine connections with T" as well as *sigh* more exposition. Mainly wondering if those two things are done well. As well as your general reactions, as always. 

 

chapter summary

[Appol PhD they/he]

Sorry for the delayed critique!

Overall: No need for a sigh at the exposition; I was engaged throughout and this context helps me a lot with the floating city plotline. If possible, I’d like to get some of this information earlier (I do like it coming out through T—maybe Amara could just meet her earlier?). In particular, knowing that 1. The floating city’s power comes from a single spell and is therefore vulnerable to disruption and 2. The benefits provided by the floating city seem to be counterbalanced by this Sadness, are important for making the situation feel precarious, adding to the stakes and making the world feel more volatile in a good way.

As I go:

Pg 1. Maybe a stupid comment on my end but yard sale feels modern enough to be jarring

-Do we have confirmation that this is A’s PoV? I’m assuming it is but it was a bit disorienting at first

Pg 2. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think the big boob hug works well for the story, both tone-wise and for A’s character.

Pg 3. This is a fun personality for T and I like that A is meeting important political figures but I’m not sure what the plot is here. What does T actually want?

-Okay right below the story does answer that question with she wants to know A but I’m still not sure why her knowledge of A matters for the current story dynamics.

Pg 4. I like the idea of A being kinda awkward and out of her depth here and I think I need more characterization as to why she’s acting this way.

Pg 5. S being a bacterial colony is a cool analogy. Hearing it earlier might have helped me understand S faster.

Pg 6. Oh? More hints of A backstory?

-It’s cool to find out that T is a bard and that she shares that connection with A, but I’m not sure what the significance of that is

Pg 7. Oh cool we do get more context. I think this is good to set up for the fragility of the floating city’s power.

Pg 10. Okay the goody basket is a funny touch.