Mental health club!

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

5 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

 

Thanks for the advice. It's just. That's what I hear alot. I don't wanna sound like I'm turning it away or ignoring it. But alot of people say that. Turn to god and he will help. I have. I've looked to him for comfort when my parents yelled at my brother for hours a day. I looked to him during the years I was depressed. It got better but it never stays. It just falls back down. I can't enjoy my happy times because it just falls again. I swear this is the third or fourth time in my short lifetime I have fallen this far. I want to turn to him but HOW. I do what everyone says I pray I read the scriptures I go to church. I know all about how to do it. I try it works but it only works for a few hours at most. It doesn't last. I need it to last.i need my life to go back to normal. I want to be happy again. For more then 12 hours at a time. It sounds selfish it sounds stupid. I just wish my life was normal for once! I wish I was normal. Like everyone else at church who doesn't worry about this how do they get to be fine while I do the same things but want to off myself every other year! I feel so stupid being jealous of them but I can't help it. I can't stop it!

Sorry I just... I just... I need to yell at something. Get everything I think out of my head. 

That’s what yelling is for

[Existential]

9 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

 

Thanks for the advice. It's just. That's what I hear alot. I don't wanna sound like I'm turning it away or ignoring it. But alot of people say that. Turn to god and he will help. I have. I've looked to him for comfort when my parents yelled at my brother for hours a day. I looked to him during the years I was depressed. It got better but it never stays. It just falls back down. I can't enjoy my happy times because it just falls again. I swear this is the third or fourth time in my short lifetime I have fallen this far. I want to turn to him but HOW. I do what everyone says I pray I read the scriptures I go to church. I know all about how to do it. I try it works but it only works for a few hours at most. It doesn't last. I need it to last.i need my life to go back to normal. I want to be happy again. For more then 12 hours at a time. It sounds selfish it sounds stupid. I just wish my life was normal for once! I wish I was normal. Like everyone else at church who doesn't worry about this how do they get to be fine while I do the same things but want to off myself every other year! I feel so stupid being jealous of them but I can't help it. I can't stop it!

Sorry I just... I just... I need to yell at something. Get everything I think out of my head. 

I get you. It's hard. A lot of people say turn to god, but that only worked for me for so long. It gets better, eventually. I think you need an outlet. Something to write, something to do. Somewhere to put your emotions so you don't let them out on everyone else

[Keke They/he]

Just now, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

I get you. It's hard. A lot of people say turn to god, but that only worked for me for so long. It gets better, eventually. I think you need an outlet. Something to write, something to do. Somewhere to put your emotions so you don't let them out on everyone else

 

5 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

That’s what yelling is for

Thanks so much for understanding 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

1 minute ago, Thee insane said:

 

Thanks so much for understanding 

As someone completely unbiased, I recommend martial arts as a great outlet!

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

14 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

 

Thanks for the advice. It's just. That's what I hear alot. I don't wanna sound like I'm turning it away or ignoring it. But alot of people say that. Turn to god and he will help. I have. I've looked to him for comfort when my parents yelled at my brother for hours a day. I looked to him during the years I was depressed. It got better but it never stays. It just falls back down. I can't enjoy my happy times because it just falls again. I swear this is the third or fourth time in my short lifetime I have fallen this far. I want to turn to him but HOW. I do what everyone says I pray I read the scriptures I go to church. I know all about how to do it. I try it works but it only works for a few hours at most. It doesn't last. I need it to last.i need my life to go back to normal. I want to be happy again. For more then 12 hours at a time. It sounds selfish it sounds stupid. I just wish my life was normal for once! I wish I was normal. Like everyone else at church who doesn't worry about this how do they get to be fine while I do the same things but want to off myself every other year! I feel so stupid being jealous of them but I can't help it. I can't stop it!

Sorry I just... I just... I need to yell at something. Get everything I think out of my head. 

*hug*

yeah

It can be really hard to see God, and I get how rehearsed the advice sounds

I'm sorry

Seriously though, finding someone to talk to outside of your family . . . it helped me so much. So much. Or writing characters who deal with the same things I deal with, ranting to friends who are willing to listen . . . that kind of thing.

*HUG*

We're here for you, dude.

[Keke They/he]

3 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

As someone completely unbiased, I recommend martial arts as a great outlet!

I prolyy will once we have our financial situation fixed

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*hug*

yeah

It can be really hard to see God, and I get how rehearsed the advice sounds

I'm sorry

Seriously though, finding someone to talk to outside of your family . . . it helped me so much. So much. Or writing characters who deal with the same things I deal with, ranting to friends who are willing to listen . . . that kind of thing.

*HUG*

We're here for you, dude.

Thank you so much. 

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

17 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

 

Thanks for the advice. It's just. That's what I hear alot. I don't wanna sound like I'm turning it away or ignoring it. But alot of people say that. Turn to god and he will help. I have. I've looked to him for comfort when my parents yelled at my brother for hours a day. I looked to him during the years I was depressed. It got better but it never stays. It just falls back down. I can't enjoy my happy times because it just falls again. I swear this is the third or fourth time in my short lifetime I have fallen this far. I want to turn to him but HOW. I do what everyone says I pray I read the scriptures I go to church. I know all about how to do it. I try it works but it only works for a few hours at most. It doesn't last. I need it to last.i need my life to go back to normal. I want to be happy again. For more then 12 hours at a time. It sounds selfish it sounds stupid. I just wish my life was normal for once! I wish I was normal. Like everyone else at church who doesn't worry about this how do they get to be fine while I do the same things but want to off myself every other year! I feel so stupid being jealous of them but I can't help it. I can't stop it!

Sorry I just... I just... I need to yell at something. Get everything I think out of my head. 

I wish I had something to offer but 

I haven’t worked through it myself, and as good as I am at theorizing about the universe, I’m so bad at articulating in regular conversations 

I’m so sorry 

 

[Existential]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*hug*

yeah

It can be really hard to see God, and I get how rehearsed the advice sounds

I'm sorry

Seriously though, finding someone to talk to outside of your family . . . it helped me so much. So much. Or writing characters who deal with the same things I deal with, ranting to friends who are willing to listen . . . that kind of thing.

*HUG*

We're here for you, dude.

sounds familiar, like a new years eve a year ago

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, Halcyon The Only said:

I wish I had something to offer but 

I haven’t worked through it myself, and as good as I am at theorizing about the universe, I’m so bad at articulating in regular conversations 

I’m so sorry 

 

Its alright. I needed someone who will do more then just hug me and say sorry. Someone who will retort and have a conversation.

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

1 hour ago, Thee insane said:

I've got a few issues rn. Ones that have already driven be to a full in panic attack. I talked to my dad but I need more then my dad for this. 

Ok so to start. I love my mom. My dad thinks she's using me. She has been asking stuff like when I was gone did dad feed you? Or when I was gonw did you get your meds? We know she's was trying to convince my dad that I'd be better with her but dropped that. I feel like she's doing that cause me choosing my dad is hurting her. I don't want to hurt her. I feel if I hurt her then her depression will come back. Along with her suicidal thoughts. She'd kill herself and it would be my fault. I know that it's not hut I can't but feel that. At the same time I feel like I'm not devoting myself enough to religion. I've never been to much for religion. But I go to church and all these people talk about how if your dedicated to religion then you get a bunch of blessings and life is so fun and awesome. They also say that it will look different for everyone. I thought I came to a conclusion of what it looks like for me but... well when I look back at my life it's full of pain and hurt. More then blessings. Sure I have alot. My friends and family. But... now I don't see anything. I feel like if... well maybe it would hurt less... then I try to stop that train of thought cause it scares me. That I won't be as strong as last time. That I'd give in. That I've gotten weaker over the years. I may have survived thoughts like that before but I fear if I fall there again I'm not gonna be strong enough but I don't know who to tell. I have all these issues but no solutions. I love the comfort I get but I need answers. Advice. I think oh if I pray I'll get them but I can't tell the difference between the holy ghost and my mental issues. And I'm at the point of questioning if it really exists cause why the hell would they let this happen. Then I think oh i can't think that. Cause it's not true and my brain argues. I love the comfort. But any answers. Solutions ways to help?

Well, first off: *many hugs*

Second... is what you're saying with your mother something you tell yourself, or sthg she is saying/implying?

In the first case, then this is not really helpful; you shouldn't hurt your mother, but you are not responsible for everything she does, and it is not your fault if she can't accept your choices. Especially given that she isn't the only one with a say in the matter; your own mental health matter too, as your father's and brothers does. What I'm trying to say is,  you shouldn't be the one carrying your mother at the expense of yourself. You can still see/call her even from your dad's, go with her for a weekend once in a while, etc... You are probably not going to cut all your ties overnight. She will have to deal with that, and it will be a lot. But its going to be a lot for everyone anyway.

However, if she's saying/implying herself that she will commit suicide if you go with your dad... then this is textbook emotional blackmailing and that is a very messed up thing to do, and she would be proving she is in fact not fit to provide to your needs at all.

Finally, if you read this as I send it: you should sleep it's good for you

[Keke They/he]

6 hours ago, Just A Silvereye said:

Well, first off: *many hugs*

Second... is what you're saying with your mother something you tell yourself, or sthg she is saying/implying?

In the first case, then this is not really helpful; you shouldn't hurt your mother, but you are not responsible for everything she does, and it is not your fault if she can't accept your choices. Especially given that she isn't the only one with a say in the matter; your own mental health matter too, as your father's and brothers does. What I'm trying to say is,  you shouldn't be the one carrying your mother at the expense of yourself. You can still see/call her even from your dad's, go with her for a weekend once in a while, etc... You are probably not going to cut all your ties overnight. She will have to deal with that, and it will be a lot. But its going to be a lot for everyone anyway.

However, if she's saying/implying herself that she will commit suicide if you go with your dad... then this is textbook emotional blackmailing and that is a very messed up thing to do, and she would be proving she is in fact not fit to provide to your needs at all.

Finally, if you read this as I send it: you should sleep it's good for you

Its something I told myself. The train of thought in my panic attack. Last night I had an almost full on mental breakdown. The weight of everything I carry regardless of if I need to. Being a perfectionist I expect myself to be perfect. Perfect grades. To not ever mess up. And rn I'm failing one class and the pile of what I make myself do plus everything else that's going on just fell. I feel like absolute crap this morning. I'm gonna try to hold it together today but tbh I'm not sure how well that will work. Thank you all for your support and advice. It all means so much to me. Thanks a million.

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

1 hour ago, Thee insane said:

Its something I told myself. The train of thought in my panic attack. Last night I had an almost full on mental breakdown. The weight of everything I carry regardless of if I need to. Being a perfectionist I expect myself to be perfect. Perfect grades. To not ever mess up. And rn I'm failing one class and the pile of what I make myself do plus everything else that's going on just fell. I feel like absolute crap this morning. I'm gonna try to hold it together today but tbh I'm not sure how well that will work. Thank you all for your support and advice. It all means so much to me. Thanks a million.

Oh my *hugs again* 

It's alright. You are dealing with so much, you can hardly be expected to do everything perfectly. That would be insane even in a vacuum. 

You will be warm again, remember? You will be able to sort through all your problems, and you will get through all this. You can do it.

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

9 hours ago, Thee insane said:

I've got a few issues rn. Ones that have already driven be to a full in panic attack. I talked to my dad but I need more then my dad for this. 

Ok so to start. I love my mom. My dad thinks she's using me. She has been asking stuff like when I was gone did dad feed you? Or when I was gonw did you get your meds? We know she's was trying to convince my dad that I'd be better with her but dropped that. I feel like she's doing that cause me choosing my dad is hurting her. I don't want to hurt her. I feel if I hurt her then her depression will come back. Along with her suicidal thoughts. She'd kill herself and it would be my fault. I know that it's not hut I can't but feel that. At the same time I feel like I'm not devoting myself enough to religion. I've never been to much for religion. But I go to church and all these people talk about how if your dedicated to religion then you get a bunch of blessings and life is so fun and awesome. They also say that it will look different for everyone. I thought I came to a conclusion of what it looks like for me but... well when I look back at my life it's full of pain and hurt. More then blessings. Sure I have alot. My friends and family. But... now I don't see anything. I feel like if... well maybe it would hurt less... then I try to stop that train of thought cause it scares me. That I won't be as strong as last time. That I'd give in. That I've gotten weaker over the years. I may have survived thoughts like that before but I fear if I fall there again I'm not gonna be strong enough but I don't know who to tell. I have all these issues but no solutions. I love the comfort I get but I need answers. Advice. I think oh if I pray I'll get them but I can't tell the difference between the holy ghost and my mental issues. And I'm at the point of questioning if it really exists cause why the hell would they let this happen. Then I think oh i can't think that. Cause it's not true and my brain argues. I love the comfort. But any answers. Solutions ways to help?

*HUG* I'm sorry. 

Yes, life is hard. It hurts. So, so much. We live in a broken world, full of broken people, so it is going to hurt. It makes sense that you don't want to stay,to me at least. This isn't how we were created to live: imperfect people in pain, surrounded by imperfect people also in pain, and causing pain to each other.

God told us that life wouldn't be amazing, that it would be hard, that we would experience tribulations in this life. Cause we live in a broken world of sinful people.

Still pray. He will help. It might take time for you to see it, but he is helping. He helped me. He will help you.

9 hours ago, Thee insane said:

 

Thanks for the advice. It's just. That's what I hear alot. I don't wanna sound like I'm turning it away or ignoring it. But alot of people say that. Turn to god and he will help. I have. I've looked to him for comfort when my parents yelled at my brother for hours a day. I looked to him during the years I was depressed. It got better but it never stays. It just falls back down. I can't enjoy my happy times because it just falls again. I swear this is the third or fourth time in my short lifetime I have fallen this far. I want to turn to him but HOW. I do what everyone says I pray I read the scriptures I go to church. I know all about how to do it. I try it works but it only works for a few hours at most. It doesn't last. I need it to last.i need my life to go back to normal. I want to be happy again. For more then 12 hours at a time. It sounds selfish it sounds stupid. I just wish my life was normal for once! I wish I was normal. Like everyone else at church who doesn't worry about this how do they get to be fine while I do the same things but want to off myself every other year! I feel so stupid being jealous of them but I can't help it. I can't stop it!

Sorry I just... I just... I need to yell at something. Get everything I think out of my head. 

You don't need to accept advice. If you want to accept it, you don't have to use it immediately. That's fine. 

Also, you can be angry. That's fine. Be angry. At God, at people, at the world. It's fine to feel angry, and desperate, and to want everything to be normal for a bit.

Tell God those things. Tell Him you're angry at Him. Tell Him. Pray, and when you do so you can yell at Him. 

Also, thank you for telling us, for making use of this community to help you. Or at least to try and help. 

*more hugs* 

Feel free to ignore whatever of this advice you want. It is only an offer, not a instruction. You can also PM me if you want to talk more. Or if you need someone to yell at/to.

 

[Keke They/he]

36 minutes ago, Just A Silvereye said:

Oh my *hugs again* 

It's alright. You are dealing with so much, you can hardly be expected to do everything perfectly. That would be insane even in a vacuum. 

You will be warm again, remember? You will be able to sort through all your problems, and you will get through all this. You can do it.

Thanks. Everyone's comfort is so good. *hugs back*

7 minutes ago, KnightSkye said:

*HUG* I'm sorry. 

Yes, life is hard. It hurts. So, so much. We live in a broken world, full of broken people, so it is going to hurt. It makes sense that you don't want to stay,to me at least. This isn't how we were created to live: imperfect people in pain, surrounded by imperfect people also in pain, and causing pain to each other.

God told us that life wouldn't be amazing, that it would be hard, that we would experience tribulations in this life. Cause we live in a broken world of sinful people.

Still pray. He will help. It might take time for you to see it, but he is helping. He helped me. He will help you.

You don't need to accept advice. If you want to accept it, you don't have to use it immediately. That's fine. 

Also, you can be angry. That's fine. Be angry. At God, at people, at the world. It's fine to feel angry, and desperate, and to want everything to be normal for a bit.

Tell God those things. Tell Him you're angry at Him. Tell Him. Pray, and when you do so you can yell at Him. 

Also, thank you for telling us, for making use of this community to help you. Or at least to try and help. 

*more hugs* 

Feel free to ignore whatever of this advice you want. It is only an offer, not a instruction. You can also PM me if you want to talk more. Or if you need someone to yell at/to.

 

Thanks. This advice is great.

Today in seminary during the normal discussions I found some things and was able to figure stuff out. I never really thought being able to hear one thing that changed your mind was a thing but. Today we were discussing d&c ten and my teacher said that Jesus helps us even if we can't see it. He is in out corner and Satan is the reason bad things happen. There is good from every trial. Sometimes something devastating happens and we think God isn't hearing us. He is. Even if we aren't hearing him. 

That's paraphrased but from it I realized even though I can't tell if he talks to me he hears me. To pray no matter what because it just takes a bit to get though. 

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

1 hour ago, Thee insane said:

Thanks. Everyone's comfort is so good. *hugs back*

Thanks. This advice is great.

Today in seminary during the normal discussions I found some things and was able to figure stuff out. I never really thought being able to hear one thing that changed your mind was a thing but. Today we were discussing d&c ten and my teacher said that Jesus helps us even if we can't see it. He is in out corner and Satan is the reason bad things happen. There is good from every trial. Sometimes something devastating happens and we think God isn't hearing us. He is. Even if we aren't hearing him. 

That's paraphrased but from it I realized even though I can't tell if he talks to me he hears me. To pray no matter what because it just takes a bit to get though. 

A bit late but

*hugs*

*huuuuuuugs*

*brotherly comfort attack hugs*

We love you

[Wittles he/him]

I don't want to get into it, but I'm really struggling right now. Some things happened yesterday that drove me to a really bad place I haven't been in years. I'm still kind of shaky and can't think straight

I really can't wait to move out so I can get away from my Dad

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

3 minutes ago, Wittles said:

I don't want to get into it, but I'm really struggling right now. Some things happened yesterday that drove me to a really bad place I haven't been in years. I'm still kind of shaky and can't think straight

I really can't wait to move out so I can get away from my Dad

*hug*

It's definitely not the same, but that's how I feel with my mom.

I'm so sorry

*biggest hug*

[Wittles he/him]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*hug*

It's definitely not the same, but that's how I feel with my mom.

I'm so sorry

*biggest hug*

*hug*

yay parent issues

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, Wittles said:

*hug*

yay parent issues

yep

yay . . .

*HUG*

Hope things get better- soon, or when you move out

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

9 minutes ago, Wittles said:

I don't want to get into it, but I'm really struggling right now. Some things happened yesterday that drove me to a really bad place I haven't been in years. I'm still kind of shaky and can't think straight

I really can't wait to move out so I can get away from my Dad

*hugs*

Yeah, it sounds awful from what you've said

...Shardbuddies? 

[Wittles he/him]

12 minutes ago, Halcyon The Only said:

*hugs*

Yeah, it sounds awful from what you've said

...Shardbuddies? 

Wait, are we not?

Yes

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

1 minute ago, Wittles said:

Wait, are we not?

Yes

Ik I was so shocked  

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

26 minutes ago, Wittles said:

I don't want to get into it, but I'm really struggling right now. Some things happened yesterday that drove me to a really bad place I haven't been in years. I'm still kind of shaky and can't think straight

I really can't wait to move out so I can get away from my Dad

*hug* 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

6 minutes ago, Wittles said:

Wait, are we not?

Yes

Wait, can we also be Shardbuddies? You seem cool 

Edited February 10, 2025 by Through The Living Glass

[Wittles he/him]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

Wait, can we also be Shardbuddies? You seem cool 

Yay!

That would be great :).