17th Shard Writes Nightblood

[Newan he/him]

Brandon is so swamped with Reckoners, Wax and Wayne, Rithmatist, and Stormlight Archive that he has no time to write the sequel to Warbreaker.  So I figure, we being dedicated fans and all, we might as well write it for him!

 

That's why they call it a for'im.  

 

Write whatever you want!  It can be as ludicrous as you want!  Navani invades Nalthis in an awesome steampunk fabrial airship?  Go for it.  Denth re-returns and wields an awakened Stick against Vasher?  Fair game.

 

Also, it doesn't have to be entirely in novel form.  You can write it like a screenplay if you prefer, or you can include gifs or a soundtrack or anything that occurs to you.  ANYTHING GOES.

 

Be courteous, however.  If somebody spends a lot of time creating a character, send them a PM to ask their permission if you want to kill that character off.

 

 

Nightblood

Not By Brandon Sanderson

 

Chapter 0

 

Jewel, Clod, and Tonk Fah walked along the path to Huth.  

"Jewel, when can we raise the rabbits?" asked Tonk Fah.  "I love the rabbits."

"For the last time, I am not opening a rabbit farm with you!" screamed Jewel. "Will you stop following me?  I'm going to find Yesteel so he can give my reanimated boyfriend a personality.  I don't plan on going into business with any psychopaths in the near future."

Tonk Fah opened his mouth to protest, but he was distracted by a strange feeling.  Jewel and Clod didn't wait for him as he walked away from the path into the trees.  It was like somebody was calling him from a distance.  Why didn't Jewel hear it?  The large man walked for a ways, then entered a grassy clearing.  Lying there, glimmering in the sun, was a sword with a silvery sheath.  

"Hey, guy," the sword said in Tonk Fah's mind, "Pull my finger."

 

Chapter 0, episode 2

 

Tonk Fah was so totally dead.  He was deader than a Jewel's boyfriend, and that was saying something.  He floated around for a moment, then somebody floated up to him.  

"Hi Tonk Fah.  I'm Endowment.  You're dead." said the shard.

"Yeah, I figured that out," said Tonk Fah. "Can I Return, please?"

"LOL" said Endowment, then floated away.  

Tonk Fah frowned.  What could he do now?  Who was he supposed to kill here?

"Psst, hey you!" whispered a shadowy figure who was hiding behind a strange pile of beads.

Tonk Fah approached the shadowy figure.  "Who are you?"

"I am Brodium, shard of the the Sinister Bros."

"Huh?" said Tonk Fah.

Brodium rolled his eyes.  "Dude, it's a long story, ok?  I was on Sel when Odium came to splinter Devotion and Dominion, and I ended up getting a chunk of each.  Just don't tell Endowment I'm here.  I can return you, but you have to do my bidding and whatever."

"Do I get to kill people?" asked Tonk Fah.

"Yeah," said Brodium, "but you also have to wear a snapback."

Tonk Fah considered for a moment, then thought about all the innocent creatures that weren't dead yet and decided it would be worth it.  

"When can I start?" 

[king of nowhere]

I tried to write the worst inclusion fanfiction I could imagine

 

Vasher stared at  the alien world, with its bare rock and strange crustacean life, cradling nightblood in his arms.

"Here you are safe. the people from Nalthis cannot reach you any longer, to use you for nefarious purposes. Sure, now you are a danger to this planet instead. But let's face it: here they have so many problems, one more or less won't change a damnation."

Will I get to destroy some evil?

"Sure. In fact, your job will be much easier. I prepared you a list. Kaladin stormblessed, and everyone who's under his protection. The kholin family, and everyone directly tied to them. Those are not evil. Everyone else is fair game."

A new person arrived.

"A blind man stood at the end of time, contemplating beauty"

"I'm sure I've already seen you somewhere"

"Yes, I'm always around for important events, doing some vague and unspecified thing that is hinted to be very important."

"And what important thing are going to happen-

A man appeared. He didn't arrive, he appeared. One moment he wasn't there, one moment he was. And his face was familiar

"Denth? I'm sure I killed you!"

"Fun fact: by stabbing me in the heart with your steel knife, you stole my soul into the knife. by appropriate knowledge, it could be restored. Some bizarre science called heamlurgy. Now I also learned to worldhop. Prepare to die."

"Not so fast! You won't have him while I live"

"Siri? What are you doing here? And how do you think to fight without an army? I see tonk fah, jewel and arsteel arrived too"

"Well, I'm merely accompanying my husband"

"Oh, susebron too? Is there someone else from the Nalthis who did not learn to worldhop?"

"As a matter of fact, no" said Mab the cook.

"You guys are all kayana. Sule?" Said a dark skinned one. Vasher didn't recognize him.

There was a moment of surreal silence, suddenly broken by the sound of someone falling into a brush. Turned out to be a midget with some strange glasses. "I'm afraid I lost myself pretty badly this time"

 

Alternative ending: the world flickered, and on a stone formation curiously resembling seven steps there was suddenly a diminutive woman. She wore a strange jewel, a blue stone suspended in the middle of her forehead by a chain. "Huh, sorry I think I got the wrong universe here. May the light preserve you from poorly written fancfiction" A new flicker, and she disappeared.