Incorrect Corrections

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Two plus two? Four??? Seriously, what is the public education doing to this generation!! It's obviously 1.8, like jeez.

The Titanic sunk due to an iceberg.

[Lunamor she/her]

No, it sunk out of spite because it got too jealous of Jack and Rose’s relationship.

Mount Everest is tall.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

Incorrect! If you look at it upside down, you will realise that it is actually quite deep, and that the Earth is really tall.

Snails have shells.

[Ravenclawjedi42]

Sorry, but I don’t think that’s quite right. The shells own the snails, actually. The snails’ job is to carry the shells around.

I want to use the Shard instead of doing my homework.

[Lunamor she/her]

No, you want to use the Shard instead of sleeping.

Otters sometimes hold hands when they sleep.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

I hate to break it to you, but, actually, when sleeping hands hold each other they sometimes become attached to otters (Also, THAT IS SO CUTE! I went and googled 'otters holding hands sleeping' and it made a bad day infinitely better).

Forests are indeed filled with trees.

[Lunamor she/her]

No, forests are filled with fors. They’re called forests because they’ve got more fors than forers.

Lava is hot.

[Ravenclawjedi42]

No…last I heard it was cold.

My window is closed.

[Lunamor she/her]

I’m pretty sure windows can’t close. They’re empty holes in the wall, which is rather annoying during inclement weather.

A circle is round.

[Wittles he/him]

Preposterous. A single circle is not round, it is merely empty dot shaped, which is not round.

Fire causes nerve damage when you touch it for too long.

[Lunamor she/her]

No, it causes nerd damage. Jocks are completely immune to fire.

Some people can make a hotdog shape with their tongue.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

You mean sum people. It can only be done by masters of addition.

water is wet. 

[Faerie Braids she/her]

You appear to be misusing the comparative suffix; see, water is weter, and wat is wet (And, of course, watest is wetest, but the superlative suffix may only be addressed once all other cases are mastered, as it is the difficultest).

Chickens are birds.

[Ravenclawjedi42]

What’s a “bird?” Chickens are chickens.

Tea tastes beautiful.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

Tea tastes like hot leaf juice. The flowers that the tea comes from are beautiful. 

 

Wood is solid

[Lunamor she/her]

Wood isn’t solid. It’s a very flaky, inconsiderate friend who never shows up to my birthday parties even when I invite it.

Snowflakes are unique.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Snowflakes are just projections of light channeled through the giant diamond at the center of the universe (the only physical object that exists), just like LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE. Come on universe, give us some originality!! 

Atoms are pretty small.

[Lunamor she/her]

I’ll have you know that my friend Adam is tall! (C’mon man, dude’s insecure about his height, don’t be rude!)

Knives are sharp.

[Ravenclawjedi42]

It’s spelled naivz, actually. Do you really say kuh-niv-es?

I’m hungry.

[Lunamor she/her]

No, silly, your name is Ravenclawjedi42, not hungry!

Black holes are very heavy.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

No, since there’s nothing in a hole, it’s weightless. 
 

The meaning of life is 42

[Lunamor she/her]

No, it’s dedicating yourself to giving dolphins fish.

Papercuts are annoying.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Papercuts are in fact, quite gratifying. This is a fact, not a subjective opinion, as stated by the World Health Organization (WHO).

Lead is kinda heavy.

[Lunamor she/her]

Lead is perfectly light and rather upset by your rude claims about its weight.

Penguins can’t fly.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Well of course they can!! What else would those big feet be for? They inflate with a gas produced by the penguins body that is lighter than air and lifts them up into the sky!

Water is one of the essential building blocks of life.