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Chapter two version one.


Jax had been like Whill’s parent for his entire life. Their mother and father had both disappeared a few days after Whill was born, and Jax had run away from the orphanage to take care of Whill himself.

And he had done a damn good job.

Whill remembered Jax sneaking out to grab food every morning for the two of them, trying to make sure that he didn’t wake up. Jax had taught him everything he knew, and when the day came that he had turned 18, Whill desperately tried to keep Jax from going to the Bureau of Shaping. 

In Taring, all males, on the day they turned 18, were required to go to the Bureau of Shaping, to be assigned their roles. If one did not show up, they were assigned a death penalty. There were 5 roles.

The best role was Shaped- they were granted extrasensory abilities, and were of the highest social class.

After that, there was Mused- Mused became wealthy business owners and politicians.

Third was Tried- they were the middle class of Taring, having enough money to feed their families, with some spending money left over.

Then there was Burdened- the factory workers, always struggling to get by.

Finally there was Snapped. The mysterious role. Deemed the worst possible.

But Whill knew what had happened to Jax.

He saw it with his own eyes.

As soon as Jax had stepped onto the platform, Whill was forced to watch as his brother, his mentor, was subjected to the worst role that could be assigned.

Snapped.

Jax had been taken to a room, and while no one knew exactly what happened to Snapped, it was obvious. They went into the room, and they never came out.

Whill had been living alone ever since.

He had been given the name Elias at birth, but Jax had always nicknamed him Whill, and since that fateful day, he had refused to be called anything else.

Because that name was the last thing, besides the desk, that he had left of Jax.
 

8 Comments


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Usseewa

Posted

Woooo

nice

 

(sorry I'm not the best at feedback)

is this an original world/magic system?

Keteᛕ

Posted

This is all original.

I'm making it up as I go.

Edit:

Add this under line break at end of chapter 2:

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Whill blew the sawdust off of his equipment. Em had finally left about an hour before, and since then he had been shaking too much to continue working. 

Whill couldn’t eat that evening.

He didn’t sleep that night.

For tomorrow he would have to visit the Bureau.
 

Usseewa

Posted

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

For tomorrow he would have to visit the Bureau.

Wait what

ohno

Keteᛕ

Posted

hes turning 18 what did you expect

he was already 17

guess what I'm assigning him.

 

Okay.

I just need to list this somewhere.

Whill;

-great hearing

-grief

-17

-short, scrawny

-real name elias

-orphan

-carpenter for himself

-brother snapped

Usseewa

Posted

uhh..

well I want to say Shaped, just cuz that's the title of the story.

Keteᛕ

Posted

I was thinking that too, but where's the plot in that?

hold on.

Only you can get spoilers right now.

gimme a sec.

oh shoot I cant send you messages.

OK...

So yeah I'm going to give him Shaped, for the sake of the title, but also I'm going to take his hearing away There is white text spoiler.

 

CoderDrag0n8

Posted

Ok initial thoughts:

I like how you set up a similarity between our main character and the best option (good hearing)

I like how you take what would have originally been assumed to be death, and added a twist (especially how people treat it as death, but it isn’t quite, giving the reader hope to save Jax)

Keteᛕ

Posted

Just keep reading.

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