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Poetry

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Poetry I wrote while being slightly depressed


The Time We Have Left

I am an ocean

of blood, draining into a

dark, misty abyss

 

The Path Ahead

I am a feather

Jet black, drifting through skies of

Arcadian cities

 

The Heavens Behind Us

I choke on gasoline fumes,

Summoning courage to break,

These gilded, granite walls.

Corroding in these small rooms,

Eating myself alive to make,

It out of these ascending walls.

I’m not okay, the floor’s stained,

Fighting my apparitions,

Lonely in the mirror.

Rain cleanses my old pain,

The garden whispers visions,

Reborn, I won’t fear her. 


Nightingale

Night falls like an eternal city

Turning the angels into birds

Their scratching screeches are more pretty

Painting facsimiles of words

Pain, reprieve, life, rest

my thoughts align inside the nest

and songs collapse into the text

 

Therapy

I haven’t eaten for days

I haven’t showered for days

I haven’t slept for days

Do you know why

I don’t

You will be fine

I won’t 

It’s funny how you study empathy

But once it’s your job it’s useless to me

 

Aroma

Do I choose to be alone

Do I choose to stay at home

Do I choose to learn mistakes

Can I find another way

Was I born without a sense

Was smell always useless

Was it wrong to look for love

Can I find something above

Will feel happy this time

Will I leave it for a lie

Will I still ask what if

Can I accept myself

22 Comments


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Usseewa

Posted

You okay buddy?

Usseewa

Posted

image.png.6483112efc219f3e5b6cfbfd91dd88ad.png

 

look at this lame writing

idek if it should be canon or not

no idea if it's at all where i want the character to go if ya know

Spoiler

Reflection (Steady Rhythm, pt. 3)

The reflection.

You remember… standing, transfixed at the mirror above the sink, staring through the crimson splotches at the face staring back.

A face you almost recognize, but cannot place.

A face so repulsive, so unnerving, that you cannot bear seeing it on you.

You were at least spared from the full site, spared by the red coating your skin.

Spared from the sight by blurry eyes.

Now you lay breathless, sobbing and aching, trying to remember, whilst trying to forget.

Who are you? You can’t remember.

What has transpired? You don’t know.

* * *

You continue sobbing for what feels like hours. Too weak to get up, so you just lay there.

It’s easier, after all, to simply stay here.

* * *

After a while—you don’t know how long—you find yourself thinking. The pain was so strong then, but now you ignore it. You’ve been in pain so long that you don’t know a world without it.

You think, and think, and try to remember. Small bits come back—you remember where you are; your apartment’s bathroom.

You live alone, in a cramped and run-down apartment.

No pets, no family, no one at all.

Just you and your mind.

“What have I done?”

 

Verdance

Posted

1 hour ago, Through The Living Girl said:

You okay buddy?

Erm

like, 30% okay

Usseewa

Posted

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

Erm

like, 30% okay

hehehe

i'm the crazy kind of "okay"

heheheheheh

 

well do smth goodfor urself

maybe dont read my writing

idk why i wrote it anyway

Verdance

Posted

That wasn’t a joke, i am functioning but with a hint of despair. some of those poems sounded happier in my head

i can’t tell- is that general self hatred or dysphoria?

Usseewa

Posted

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

That wasn’t a joke, i am functioning but with a hint of despair. some of those poems sounded happier in my head

i can’t tell- is that general self hatred or dysphoria?

what part wasn't a joke

the 20/30 or whatver percent okay?

i didn't think it was

tbh the poems have some ... themes

 

the blood one? supposed to be an underlying theme of dysphoria. or not-so-underlying idk. mixed with some ... other stuff

 

 

also lol im doing math homework rn but im addicted to the shard and hate myself for it

Verdance

Posted

yeah that’s an accurate estimate of my mental state- 30-40% okay

I relate to it but more in the way i see my face as a rotting corpse what with the blood and acne and facial hair ruining what’s left of my childhood 

this character needs to take a shower

Usseewa

Posted

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

yeah that’s an accurate estimate of my mental state- 30-40% okay

I relate to it but more in the way i see my face as a rotting corpse what with the blood and acne and facial hair ruining what’s left of my childhood 

this character needs to take a shower

...u can shave, yk?

srry bout the acne and blood tho

also childhoods don't exist

yes ik she does.

she also needs some serious help :3

unlike me thankfully

Verdance

Posted

4 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

...u can shave, yk?

srry bout the acne and blood tho

also childhoods don't exist

yes ik she does.

she also needs some serious help :3

unlike me thankfully

Yes but its a hassle and its like daily

its like I’m just now learning that these things i have to do to cleanse myself are temporary and meaningless in a metaphorical sense 

like I never feel clean

 

Ehh i still recommend you do therapy 

i like to complain about it but it has helped a lot

Usseewa

Posted

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

Yes but its a hassle and its like daily

its like I’m just now learning that these things i have to do to cleanse myself are temporary and meaningless in a metaphorical sense 

like I never feel clean

 

Ehh i still recommend you do therapy 

i like to complain about it but it has helped a lot

i mean u can get an electric razer and then that just takes like a few minutes in the morning or night or whenever, it's pretty easy and worth it

i didnt shave for a few days and i hated looking and thinking of myself it sucked

if u wann shave, shave.

 

yah i do therapy but we dont talk bout big stuff oft'

Verdance

Posted

Okay, honestly, idk what mental block is getting in the way of what is honestly just good hygiene 

imma try and write happier stuff until Friday

Usseewa

Posted

What's Friday?

or just arbitrary deadline?

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

Okay, honestly, idk what mental block is getting in the way of what is honestly just good hygiene 

imma try and write happier stuff until Friday

idk, some other mental block that you'll hafta ruminate on if you want

Verdance

Posted

Arbitrary deadline

again, trying to space put my writing to improve quality

aaaaaa eighteen days until CWHOS drops i literally cannot wait

Usseewa

Posted

what's it like having a childhood 

i dont remmember mine much

didnt do much, idk

a;so cwhos yay

i love goodkid

ty

Verdance

Posted (edited)

Erm

i didnt appreciate my childhood enough either

holdon give me like twenty minutes 

Quote

a;so cwhos yay

i love goodkid

ty

Glad you enjoy it!

its about the happiest music i listen to

and then it only goes downhill from there

Edited by Through The Living Grass
Usseewa

Posted (edited)

oh also

(tw/cw mention of blood and gore)

Spoiler

i recently watched a few episodes of Spy X Family (an anime) and basically one of the characters is like an... assassin of questionable mental state, and... basically she just killed like a dozen or two dozen bad guys/criminals and there was like blood spraying and yeah and she got covered in it and that disturbed me in more ways than one but i was tranfixed in...morbid fascination

hehehhehe

so that mayormaynot have promptwd the blood thing

also I'm pretty much

a

 

Edited by Through The Living Girl
Verdance

Posted (edited)

11 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

oh also

(tw/cw mention of blood and gore)

  Hide contents

i recently watched a few episodes of Spy X Family (an anime) and basically one of the characters is like an... assassin of questionable mental state, and... basically she just killed like a dozen or two dozen bad guys/criminals and there was like blood spraying and yeah and she got covered in it and that disturbed me in more ways than one but i was tranfixed in...morbid fascination

hehehhehe

so that mayormaynot have promptwd the blood thing

also I'm pretty much

a

 

I know the basic premise of SpyXFamily

i have seen the first few episodes forever ago and want to watch it more sometime soon

Only name i remember is Anya tho

 

Oh my Ado, WHITEPINE 10 dropped

you gotta watch this show its called whitepine its a murder mystery serial shot using minecraft and its soundtrack is the reason i know piano

Edited by Through The Living Grass
Usseewa

Posted

 

 

also now i hate myself for ruining myself because i dont want help because i dont need it because if i did then i actually am ruined

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

I know the basic premise of SpyXFamily

i have seen the first few episodes forever ago and want to watch it more sometime soon

Only name i remember is Anya tho

i love anya

 

dont watch it or anythig if liablel to be depressed is my motto

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

I know the basic premise of SpyXFamily

i have seen the first few episodes forever ago and want to watch it more sometime soon

Only name i remember is Anya tho

 

Oh my Ado, WHITEPINE 10 dropped

you gotta watch this show its called whitepine its a murder mystery serial shot using minecraft and its soundtrack is the reason i know piano

... 3 days ago..?

also help

4 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

I know the basic premise of SpyXFamily

i have seen the first few episodes forever ago and want to watch it more sometime soon

Only name i remember is Anya tho

 

Oh my Ado, WHITEPINE 10 dropped

you gotta watch this show its called whitepine its a murder mystery serial shot using minecraft and its soundtrack is the reason i know piano

sorry but im fragile when it comes to tv/movies

they always make me depressed uwu

Verdance

Posted

3 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

 

 

also now i hate myself for ruining myself because i dont want help because i dont need it because if i did then i actually am ruined

i love anya

 

dont watch it or anythig if liablel to be depressed is my motto

Dont hate yourself, you’re not ruined, you probably should get help, but getting help doesnt mean your ruined, its like a vaccine when the flu comes around

its okay to hurt, lily. Just dont get stuck in it.

Usseewa

Posted

3 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Dont hate yourself, you’re not ruined, you probably should get help, but getting help doesnt mean your ruined, its like a vaccine when the flu comes around

its okay to hurt, lily. Just dont get stuck in it.

but i just want to like stop killing myself and pretend it never happened and move past it and ignore it and wait for it to get better and also idek what counts as bad hehe

but like like likekekejje

4 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Dont hate yourself, you’re not ruined, you probably should get help, but getting help doesnt mean your ruined, its like a vaccine when the flu comes around

its okay to hurt, lily. Just dont get stuck in it.

ur right i gotta get not stuck and stop having fun writing about people dying/bleeding/etc.

because it's obviously not great for me hehe..

 

dammit this homrwork is killing me hehah

not rlly it's finee

fine

Verdance

Posted

Hmmm

i dont know, what do you want? Cause you keep asking people on here for help, but you dont want to get help from someone who could actually help you far better

 

Usseewa

Posted

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

Hmmm

i dont know, what do you want? Cause you keep asking people on here for help, but you dont want to get help from someone who could actually help you far better

 

idk nvm

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