Too Many Swallowed Keys
About a month ago, I ended up in the hospital for a night. I was not mentally okay, but I’ve recovered since then, and I’ve written this poem about my experience, set to the rhyme scheme of “Atlantic” by Sleep Token, since they describe similar things.
Am I a seed planted,
or a body buried?
Either way I’m under the tree.
Thrown out of the garden
Someday to be ferried
To asphodel for my unbelief.
Friendly for the faceless
Lost among the questions
Its easier to try not to breathe
So cut me like salvation
Break down all my bastions
Anything to fix this story
I woke under streetlights,
Safe inside a prison,
Home never felt so far away.
Morning with no sunrise,
Scars sneak past your vision
You clearly don’t know what to say.
Consequences, numbness,
Feeling nothing different,
Longing for the sweetness of pain.
So cut me like salvation,
Sever ties like angels,
Maybe this will get me to change.
TW: Self-Harm
Middle of the day
Yet another fray
Peace among the footsteps
Pause along the way
Middle of the verse
Couldn’t it get worse
Serve to slake the sorrow
Sing like it’s the first
Middle of my dreams
yet another means
to hate myself for nothing,
to tear apart the seams
But I refuse to be controlled by contrast
I refuse to let myself die,
I choose to break the cycle,
I choose to let myself cry.
No TW, this one’s hope for me.
writing about my feelings has helped, actually. The harm i caused myself didn’t change me, but reflecting on that foolishness has. Never, ever hurt yourself. It is not salvation, it is not an escape. You can find help, you will see the sun again. I know someone out there loves you.
thanks for reading, yall. I really appreciate it.
Edited by Through The Living Grass
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