I hear you! Sometimes I also have trouble knowing what's truly me and what's just part of my outward character. I've been very outgoing, friendly and humorous all this year and I have a lot of friends because of it, but I know that I'm really an introvert who isn't very good with social skills. Therefore I've basically molded my image around being a loveable oddball genius, when I feel like I could just as well have been a silent, potentially off-putting guy.
I used to be the latter a little over a year ago when I first returned to public school after a year of homeschool, and it was reflected in my clothing (always wearing the same outfit and hoodie every day) and my hair (shaggy and falling over my eyes). These days my hair is shorter and everyone can see my eyes along with my fabulous eyebrows. Also, I wear distinct and dare I say stylish outfits every day (oh yeah, and I became a theatre kid).
I can't change that I'm neurodivergent, I can't change that I'm weird, but I can change how I present my weirdness. And, while I haven't really made this known to anyone and haven't even thought about it much myself, it scares me how easily I can change my personality like that. Who am I really? Is it the quiet kid who wants to be left alone? The quirky and amiable guy with lots of friends? I usually believe myself to be the latter, but sometimes I'm not so sure.
I'm sorry I can't help you because this is a bit of an issue for me as well.