SmilingPanda19

Hey folks.

Im gunna check my 70 notifs, just give me a bit.

Sorry I haven’t been on much, I wasn’t finding the energy or willpower to do so. It’s been a… wavy? Yeah. Wavy last few days. Ups and downs, high tide, low tide, CRASH-

There have been lots of tears, in school, out of school.

There have been thoughts I’d rather not think about.

I’ve gotten less sleep because I stay up, savoring a moment or a song to myself before I’m forced to wake up tomorrow.

So many people making fun of me behind my back, not knowing how horribly self conscious and self aware I am.

So many people I’m starting to hate. 

So much skepticism of even my family, my dearest friends, the people I love.

My mental health dropping up and down and swinging rapidly over the week.

Though there have been many lows, there were highs.

I got to laugh with my friends for the first time in a while.

Im starting to take better care of myself, trying to make myself feel more beautiful.

I’m having really good conversations with my dad about the way the world works, he was always good at talking with me.

Im going to be getting a lot of attention today from my best friend because she will be riding both buses home and she hasn’t done that in two weeks.

So that’s a little life update. There’s probably more but I’m running on 5 and 1/2 hours of sleep so I’m not really sure what. Anyways, hope everyone’s doing okay.