TheSurvivorofDeath
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One piece almost certainly did become kaladins spear. Another was likely absorbed by Syl, explaining her altered appearance near the end, as she seems on track to in some way replace the Stormfather. The others, however many there were, could be doing any number of things. They may be sitting around, gaining sentience, or they may have gone off to invest individuals who align with Honor’s intent, or they could be doing some other things entirely. I’m sure we will learn more about what some of those pieces did.
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1. Yeah that is the prevailing sentiment. This book was a wild ride with a doozy of an ending.
2. Kaladin is going to help the Heralds heal from millennia of trauma, while healing himself, and eventually return to help Roshar.
3. That epilogue does hit pretty hard.
4. The time dilation makes time pass more slowly on Roshar, with its early manifestation making Rosharan months equal to Cosmere years. The dilation seems to surround the entire Rosharan system, and is weakening with time. The Ghostbloods believe it will end in approximately 70-80 Cosmere years, roughly 10 on Roshar.
5. WaT happens before the Lost Metal. I believe it happens a solid bit before the Alloy of Law. The entire Wax and Wayne series takes place in the time skip between Arc 1 and 2 of SA.
6. There is a solid chance that Shallan will come across Retributions Perpendicularity at the Shattered Plains, letting her escape Shadesmar. From there, who knows how she’ll get anywhere.
7. Lots of stuff is gonna happen in 10 years. Lots and lots. No idea what.
I think I got it all. Hope that helps. I’m sure others can contribute more.
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Just now, SpiritOfWrath said:
Oooohhhhh
Have you given thought to chemical composition? I mean, you don’t need to, but might be interesting
Like - steel is iron and carbon, so you could extrapolate on that mayhaps
I’ve considered chemical compositions to an extent, and I reckon I’ll do more as I assign specific focuses. I haven’t thought much past steel and iron, so there’s a lot of room to consider composition and chemical and physical properties of different materials.
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41 minutes ago, AltonicKeys said:
A little late, but I would like to add, are you sure about having the pinnacle of magical equipment being metal? One of the most manipulable, and sometimes plentiful resources? I realize that gemstones would be a cliche, but I feel like metals (especially iron or copper) would be too common of materials to be the most powerful Focus options. Unless this takes place on a planet with extremely different geology and iron is somehow rarer and less accessable than most other materials.
I just don't see a metal screw being more magically attuned than a stone. Metal has often been regarded as a human material and kind of an opposite to nature, which is also what the God is connected to? But twigs being stronger than screws is also wrong. So I don't really have a solution other than the classic "shiny gems oooo."
I like metal as the highest level of Focus because metals have unique traits, unique chemical makeups, and a unique role in mankind’s development. Apart from that, metals are slightly rarer on Nexum than on Earth, but not to a major extent. They are, in this story, rarer than you might expect, because this story takes place in a sort of mid-Industrial Revolution society, in an area akin to the Old West. It’s not incredibly rare, but rarer than in the modern world. Additionally, metal has more of an inherit limit than any other material. You have to carry it with you, because you’re not reliably likely to simply find it. It’s heavy, so you can’t carry massive amounts of it. Maybe you can get a screw to use, depending on where you are, but would you rather have slightly more power for a scant period or much more time with a bit less power with a chunk of rock? And metals are less attuned to nature, technically, than other materials, sure. But this magic system deals more with physical connections. Animancy, the other magic of this world, deals with connections to natural concepts and phenomena. Nexu, the God of this world, is deeply connected to nature, but also to humanity. He is a god of connection, not of nature, so the human nature of metal as a material doesn’t stray from the source of the power.
Besides, with metal as a source of power I get to name my main character Cadmus Steel and have that name be slightly relevant to the magic system. So there’s that.
Thank you for the feedback.1 -
The system is not Cosmere, it is for my own world I’m building. A Somatic can use a maximum of 5 Focuses at a time, though only one mental attribute can be accessed at a given time. To activate a Focus, the Somatic must touch it and focus intently on their desired attribute. A single Focus cannot grant multiple attributes at a time, so a single piece of stone is only going to give either strength or durability. Multiple pieces of stone could be used independently to get both attributes though. When a Focus is activated, it will immediately disintegrate and the power will pass to the Somatic. The power itself comes from the God of this world, who focuses on Connection between people, objects, spirits, and nature.
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So I had a magic system for a world I’m working on, which I’ve posted about before. But I realized that not only was it extremely similar to the mechanics and powers of Allomancy and Feruchemy, but it also simply didn’t work. It was weak, unbalanced, and overly complicated for the lack of power it provided. So I made something new.
Somaticism:
Somatics make use of a physical Focus in order to produce an effect. These effects are mostly physical, with a few cognitive possibilities, and they are limited to the user’s own body. Each effect can be achieved with multiple Focuses, though some work better than others. Some Focuses can also be used to achieve multiple different effects. For example, a Somatic can use stone as a Focus to increase their physical strength, but steel will make them far stronger for far longer. Stone could also be used to increase physical durability, though iron is the better option. In both of these instances, the metals are Perfect Focuses, which yield the greatest possible output for the longest possible time. All Perfect Focuses are metals, and are only associated with one attribute.
What do you think? Feedback is welcome.
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This is really cool. I always love to see world building projects, especially magic systems. I can advise on magic systems if you’re looking for that. Not so much on the political stuff or anything unless you have super specific questions. Deities and magic are my focus so I love what you’re doing here and look forward to seeing more.
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I have some suggestions, if you don’t mind.
1: Make it universal. Everyone has the power to generate electricity based on the food they consume. Having it nutrition based keeps the true power in the hands of the rich, however, as the poor can’t buy as much food.
2: It could be illegal simply because the government doesn’t want its citizens to have free, unregulated electricity. The governments of the world would likely enslave people to generate power for cities or countries, as that’s the most efficient way to make electricity. It could also obviously allow for large burst of electricity that could cause damage to infrastructure and possible high death tolls. In general the basic ability to produce electricity is extremely wide-ranging and doesn’t actually need anything additional to improve it. It’s simply a matter of fitting it to the world to get the best result.
3. Setting it in the 18th century in North America would be great. If you have the power be ancient, which I think you should, industrialization would have started with electricity, making for a wonderful almost sci-fi setting. Colonial culture, Cold War government, modern or post modern technology/technological themes? Sounds pretty cool to me.
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You could maybe burn someone if you had enough stored heat and tapped it fast enough, but it probably wouldn’t be that efficient. As for frostbite I believe storing that much heat that quickly would probably kill you. There aren’t that many crazy things you can do, even if you have compounding. Burning people would be made easier if you could compound, but I can’t think of any super interesting things can be done with brass in particular.
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Okay does the blood have to be inside of you? Because that makes it harder. However, if you can use any blood as long as it’s your own, you can just store your blood into a stockpile until you need it. Then you can make effects with far more power than you would with your own blood volume, and can even avoid negative effects from depleted blood. It’s an interesting idea.
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3 minutes ago, Treamayne said:
It's okay, we are allowed to disagree.
I added the other half of the reference above, but Shallan herself also notes it was likely a combination of transformation and illumination - and that these illusions had a resistance to physical touch that none of her prior illusions had.
However, I could not find a WoB about this that wasn't RAFO.
Shallan has a general lack in soul casting, but it is possible she was combining her surges. Both these surges manifest in ways that aren’t as tangible as gravitation and adhesion, so it’s less visible if there is a combination between them. Lightweavers are different from other orders, so it’s not guaranteed they have this combined ability. There’s no guarantee that any orders have this combination, apart from Windrunners. Bondsmiths manifest something similar, with their repair of solid objects, but Bondsmiths are also a special case. I have no idea what combined ability might manifest from gravitation and division, if one were to manifest at all. It’s possible that the production of lightning is what they can do, but we haven’t seen that for sure. There’s still so much we don’t know about Surgebinding, so we can’t do anything but speculate.
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4 minutes ago, SourCandyLime said:
Well, I am writing this from the perspective of the Storyteller. He is a member of the Multiversal Alliance, a kind of librarian. He records the stories of the members in each universe, and in this one we have a Tig. The Storyteller breaks the 4th wall and talks of himself in the chapters about a girl named Sip, but he can't help comparing the worlds he records to the worlds he has seen.
I suppose that makes sense. I do feel like it would be more reasonable to have this Storyteller cite some other fictional creation that isn’t from a real-world fictional story, as that makes this multiverse separate from our world. You could use real literature to explain things but I feel like that would be jarring as a reader. At the very least just say cuts like a Shardblade and cut out the “from the Cosmere” part, since if the Storyteller is just citing things he’s seen out of habit he wouldn’t say where it was from. Just saying. I do like this story idea, my only real issues are the sentence structure and immersion.
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16 minutes ago, BlueWildRye said:
Is it set in the real world, because then the references to other properties kinda make sense, but if not then they feel out of place. Beyond that, I really liked it!
Even if it’s set in the real world it still draws away from the immersion. It’s generally advisable not to compare things to other fictional things. There’s no guarantee a reader has seen that thing and it’s better to just describe the thing with real description. Describe it as cutting the soul, not as being like a Shardblade. Just my two cents
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16 minutes ago, Treamayne said:
Well there’s no evidence that’s what she was doing. Jasnah says Stormlight has mass in itself, and she wasn’t actually sure if Shallan was soulcasting her illusions. Besides, I don’t think the combined ability of Lightweavers would be something that basic. Just using one surge in the other surge, soulcasting an illusion, isn’t very creative. I suspect it’s something different that the Lightweavers can do, if they can do anything at all.
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Would the magic be just magic glass or the manipulation of glass for magical purposes. Because if it’s just magical types of glass you could use special sands or colorings/dyes, the color distinguishing the kind of glass. The magic glass could have all kinds of possibilities, which you could get inspiration for from Alcatraz vs Evil Librarians. You could also throw in the shaping of the glass to adjust the effect the type gives. That could make containers do different things than windows or mirrors or glass knives or whatever else.
On the other hand, if it’s the manipulation of glass to produce magical effects, you can go even crazier. The magic user could instill an ability into blown glass as they blow it, making anything possible as long as they know what they’re doing. The limitations and possibilities would need some consideration, but it’s a good idea. The glass objects could maybe even produce greater effects after being made when the magic user uses them.0 -
I see no real similarity to breaths in this magic system. It is an interesting one, and could be quite good, but it’s not like breaths or awakening, not really. There are some sentence structure and flow errors in the writing, and mentioning Shardblades just ruins the immersion, but otherwise this is a pretty good read.
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Epic Name: Patriot
Powers:
Bulletproof/invincible
Superstrength
Super speed
Flight
Invisibility
Concussive and explosive blasts
Doesn’t need to breath
Immunity to starvation, disease, and dehydration
Regeneration (not that he needs it)
Super senses
Super reflexes
Costume:
White and gold with red and blue accents, American flag cape (picture it as you will I cannot imagine it right now)
Weakness:
Ice skates. If they’re on his feet he loses all powers. If you hit him with one you can hurt him.
Evilness: Flies around the world destroying entire cities just for kicks. His kill count has grown to 8 million in the time since calamity appeared. He is feared and hated by just about every person on the planet, even powerful epics.
This guy is crazy overpowered. Like, made overpowered simply because this is in no way a serious character build, since this guy is practically unbeatable. He has like four prime invincibilities. But, you know, you can totally get him with ice skates before he blows you up.
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Tension seems very useful, but only if you know what you’re doing. You can turn anything completely rigid or entirely rubbery. I do believe that liquids would be hard to use the surge on, especially flowing liquids. You could manipulate surface tension of standing water probably, and turn any liquid solid if you know what you’re doing. Air would be even harder to swing and you probably wouldn’t be able to do floating solid platforms at all, if you could do anything with air. Lightning and fire are basically energy, so no dice on tension there.
We haven’t seen tension be used to any real extent, so we can’t tell what we might see from it in the future. It is a very interesting surge that has the possibility to be very exciting.0 -
See the problem is we don’t actually know quite how gold works. It may show the past of the user or it may show the present had choices been different in the past. We don’t actually know. But it does seem like this ability is very much within the spiritual, as it is a Fortune ability. Of all the temporal metals it seems the most dependent on the cognitive, but gold is still a spiritual metal. I don’t think it would show an iriali the one because it works based on the users spiritweb and should only show things related to the user. Now, if the user is actually made of pieces of the one, and they use a very large amount of gold with duralumin, they may be able to see the one. Only if the one is actually part of their past and they are actually able to see the past with gold. It’s a very interesting question but rather unanswerable.
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This is pretty good. I’d like to see some of the world building behind this, if you’d like to share.
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15 minutes ago, Arlin said:
There where two, as far as I know, never before seen symbols debuted during the announcement of the Worldhoppers Ball yesterday. While one is in the shape of a crescent moon and seems to be representative of the clock used in the video and of the event itself. There was an another key shaped symbol on the clock itself depicted alongside all of the known planetary symbols.
My question is do we think that this a) A brand new planetary symbol? b) Another symbol related to the event? Or c) A meaningless new design made only to fill space on the clock?
First of all, this is Sanderson. There is no way it’s just a symbol made up to fill space. It could be a planetary symbol for a world we’ve already heard of, or one for a new world. I personally think it could be Yolen, since it looks like the general Cosmere symbol, which one might associate with Yolen. Either that or it’s a symbol for Silverlight or something, since the symbol does look like the Cosmere symbol as part of a key, and silverlight is sort of the key to the Cosmere. I really have no idea though.
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16 minutes ago, Wadders said:
Were the honor blades made soley by honor or was cultivation involved as well? I'm sure I've read somewhere that the shardblades associated with the radiants are a mixture of cultivations and honors investiture with the mix depending on which order they are in. The honor blades might be similar.
What would be interesting is if someone made new blades with a mix of odium, cultivation and honors investiture and would they grant the same powers as the enlightened spren.
Honorblades are pure Honor. Modern Shardblades are a combination of Honor and Cultivation because modern spren are made of both shards. When Honor forged the oathpact, he used pieces of himself to form the blades for the Heralds. This gave the Heralds a direct conduit to Honor while he was alive.
I do not believe the original method of forging Stormlight would work, since I don’t believe you can properly forge raw investiture in the first place, much less the gaseous form. I’m sure there is some method to consolidate investiture into its solid form, as we know that is a natural manifestation. That seems to be the only way one could accomplish this, and even then I’m not sure it would grant surges without even more tricking the system. You could consolidate warlight or life light or tower light or any other combined light into a blade as well, but I also doubt those could grant surges. Maybe the blades could gain sentience, but that might take time. It’s an interesting possibility, but difficult to manage if possible at all.0 -
9 hours ago, Dragonheir said:
Can I hear about the magic? I can give feedback on it and how I think it would affect your world.
So there’s two magic systems on Nexum, but only one of them is common. The common magic system is based off of metals, which grant abilities to those who can use them. The system is admittedly very similar to Feruchemy and may need some mild mechanic changes to compensate, but it’s fine.
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So I thought I might share some of the world building I’ve done, just to see if anyone has any feedback or suggestions. This is all stuff for the world my current project is set in.
I’ll start with the setting. My story is set on a planet called Nexum. Nexum is a world similar to earth by size, gravitation, and distance from its sun, which is similar to our Sun. It has slightly more land than Earth, but it’s not a drastic difference. The geography of the world isn’t very important, so I won’t be too detailed.
The story is mostly set in the city of Horandel, the capital city of the Grand Republic, the only existing political force on Nexum. I have some history that plays into the solitude of the Republic, which only takes up a small fraction of Nexum, if anybody wants to see that, though it isn’t that detailed. Horandel is a city on the brink of a new age, just at the transition from rudimentary industry to true second wave industry and electricity. The only thing that truly distinguished Horandel from any major city on our world during that age in history is the magic, which I can share if anyone is interested, that many people have.Thats just a quick rundown, not very detailed. If anyone is interested in more information feel free to ask.
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First Chapter of My Novel
in Creator's Corner
Posted
Okay this is like the third time I've done this and I have never finished any of those projects, but I swear I'm gonna finish this one. I just wanted to share my first chapter and maybe my prologue to get some basic feedback on style and voice and that kind of stuff before I continue writing. I will not be sharing further progress until at least a first draft is done, but I wanted a bit of feedback before I continue. Anyway, here it is.
Chapter I
The wind was cold. Cadmus Steel, Town Marshal, embraced the chill as he soared. He closed his eyes, letting the world around him fade away as the wind carried him higher into the air. He exalted in the thrill of flight, and he felt a similar emotion from the presence in the back of his mind. The Wind enjoyed this almost as much as he did.
As he reached a height where the air thinned, his ascent slowed. He came to a stop, his coat whipping around him, and began to plummet. The Wind wrapped tight around him, as it had on that winter night so many years ago, but this time he reassured it. It accepted his placations, and the force against his fall faded. He plummeted, his stomach rising into his throat as air raced past his ears, tugging at his coat. His right hand found his pocket as the stony ground grew closer, and he withdrew a small iron bar. Gripping the cold metal tight, he envisioned himself slamming to the ground, his skin and bones absorbing the shock with ease. Warmth flooded through him, the cold weight disintegrating in his hand, and he smiled.
Then he hit the ground.
…
A few minutes later, Cadmus entered the town of Starfall, still dusting off his coat and pants. A gust of wind hit him in the face, dislodging some of the dust stuck there, and a distinct impression of disapproval entered his mind.
“Oh, stop,” Cadmus said. “You know I can have a little fun sometimes.
An image entered his mind, one of his wife. Serenity was a beautiful woman, with long blonde hair and stunning hazel eyes. She did not approve of Cadmus’s stunts.
Cadmus sighed. “She doesn’t need to know. Besides, it's no more dangerous than a typical day at work.”
The Wind still expressed disapproval, but did not respond. Cadmus made his way down Starfall’s Main Street, heading for the large wooden building that was the center of the small town’s society. The Fallen Star saloon was tame, as far as saloons went, but it was still a rowdy place at night. As he approached, sounds of revelry washed over Cadmus. Drunken singing went along with the gentle tune of the piano, and warm light washed over Cadmus and pooled at his feet as he reached the door to the establishment. This was not a place of sin, like similar places across the Frontier, but one of brotherhood and socialization. It was the center of Starfall, the oldest building still standing, and it welcomed any who came through its doors.
Cadmus entered, the doors swinging back as he passed, and scanned the room. In the corner of the room, he spotted his deputy, Samuel Cain, alone at a table. He approached, signaling the barkeep for a drink as he walked. Samuel looked up as Cadmus sat, waiting for his drink to arrive before beginning their conversation.
“Alright, Sam,” Cadmus said after a sip of his beer. “Anything interesting happen while I was gone?”
“No sir,” Samuel replied. “Quiet day.”
“Good, good,” Cadmus said, looking around as he took another drink.
“We did get a report over the wire–” Samuel was cut off by a bellow from across the room.
“Cadmus Steel,” a slurred voice called. “We gotta score to settle.”
Cadmus turned in his chair with a sigh, his eyes finding a massive figure crossing the room on shaky legs. The man tottered drunkenly, precariously balancing a glass in his hand as he stumbled toward Cadmus.
“Come on now, Earl,” Cadmus said, smirking. “You must realize by now that you simply can’t beat me at darts.”
“You cheat, Steel,” Earl said, and the alcohol on his breath stung Cadmus’s eyes as he grew closer. “But I’m gonna win anyway.”
“Sure you are, Earl,” Cadmus said, rising and making his way to the dart board. “I’ll even use my left hand, to make it fair.”
Earl lumbered over to stand next to Cadmus, who handed him three darts. The man was certainly enormous, towering over Cadmus. Unfortunately, he was enormous in other ways, with a massive belly that jutted in front of him, and a pudgy face to match. Where he found enough food to achieve such a physique, Cadmus had no idea.
“You know tha rules, Steel,” Earl said, finishing his drink and slamming the glass on a nearby table. “Three shots, highest score wins.”
Cadmus chuckled at the man’s drunken confidence. “I know, Earl. You take the first throw.”
Earl did so, his shot going wide. It wasn’t a terrible one, for a man as drunk as he was, but it only earned him thirty points.
“Spirits, Earl,” Cadmus chided as he lined up his shot. “You’ll have to do better than that to beat me.”
He released, and the dart found the center of the bullseye, eliciting cheers from the gathering crowd.
“I just gotta get warmed up, is all,” Earl said, preparing to take his second shot. It went wider than the first, the dart missing the board completely and embedding itself in the wood beside it.
“Warm yet?” Cadmus asked, his second dart landing just beside his first. “That’s another hundred for me.”
“I’ll show you, Steel,” Earl said, taking his time with his final shot. It flew true, just missing the bullseye for an eighty point score. The crowd cheered, louder than they had for Cadmus.
Cadmus cocked his head. “Not bad.”
He began to line up his final shot, but was interrupted by Samuel calling for him.
“Hate to interrupt, boss, but we’ve gotta meet the train.”
“What train?” Cadmus asked, his arm frozen as he turned to face his deputy.
“I’ll s’plain on the way,” Samuel said. “Let’s go.”
“Shame,” Cadmus said, his arm falling to his side. “I was looking forward to beating you again, Earl.”
As he turned to leave, he flicked the dart over his shoulder. A faint breeze blew through the room, and a satisfying thunk sounded behind him. Judging from the crowd’s reaction and Earl’s bellowed curse, Cadmus had struck the bullseye yet again. He turned and gave Earl a smile, then a wink, before meeting his waiting deputy at the door.
“Why d’ya mess with them like that, boss?” Samuel asked, swinging the door open.
“A man has to have some fun now and then, Sam,” Cadmus said. Besides, my abilities are no secret, so I can’t be cheating.”
“I s’pose, boss.”
“What’s this train business, Sam.”
“Like I was sayin’ before, boss, we got a message over the wire. Train coming through with some prisoners. The Sheriff’s with ‘em. Asked for us to meet the train when it stops.”
“Weaver’s finally paying me a visit, eh? Wonder what kind of prisoners he’s got.”
“We’ll find out, boss,” Sam said as they rounded a corner and came within sight of the train station.
The station was small, not much more than a ticket window and office. Attached to the building was a thin wooden platform, covered by an overhang to protect waiting travelers from the elements. Starfall did not see a lot of travel, with the station mostly being meant for food coming in and metals going out. As Cadmus and Samuel approached the station, the piercing whistle of an approaching train split the air. The Sheriff had arrived.
The train screeched to a stop, dust billowing into the air around Cadmus. Though passenger trains were unheard of in this part of the Frontier, one like this was commonplace. The vehicle was composed of some twenty large cars, each designed to haul large amounts of food or resources to and from the many towns that dotted the desert. Some of that food would be for Starfall, their monthly delivery of grain and produce. Goats and cattle provided the town with meat, but the environment was too hostile to grow anything a man could eat. As the dust settled, the door to a nearby car slid open to reveal a group of a dozen or so men. At the front of the group stood a figure in a worn leather duster, eyes shaded by the brim of a hat that Cadmus was convinced was older than him. David Weaver, Sheriff of Absolution County. The closest thing to a father Cadmus had ever known
“Weaver!” Cadmus shouted, a smile on his face.
The Sheriff turned, finding Cadmus, and produced a smile of his own. “Ah, Cadmus. How are you, son?”
“Best I can be, sir,” Cadmus said, traversing the short distance between them. “The Frontier is boring these days.”
“Better bored than dead, son,” Weaver replied, pulling Cadmus into an embrace.
“I hear you’ve brought me some prisoners,” Cadmus said as they separated, breaking free of his childlike enthusiasm.
Weaver chuckled. “Right to the chase, then.”
“I told you,” Cadmus said, “I’ve been bored.”
“Yes, son, I have some prisoners,” Weaver said. “Strange lot.”
“How so?” Samuel asked, having finished talking to some of Weaver’s deputies.
“They gave us no fight. Nothing. This group has been harassing the Frontier for decades, and they practically cuffed themselves.”
“Who are they?” Cadmus asked, curiosity raging in his chest.
“A bandit crew, biggest in Absolution. They stick by the cities, so you wouldn’t have met them, but they give us some trouble over by Clearwater.”
“And they came in that easily?” Cadmus asked, skeptical.
“Those boys over there said most of ‘em were dead when you got there, Sheriff,” Samuel chimed in.
“That’s the other thing,” Weaver replied, nodding. “Must’ve been a dozen stiffs in that hideout. I’ve got five men in that car, and they’re all that was left. No idea why they’re still alive. They won’t talk.”
“Can we talk to ‘em?” Samuel asked.
“No, Sam,” Cadmus said. “I need you to make sure the food gets unloaded properly. Keep the workers from snooping on the prisoners, will you.”
“I can do that, boss,” Samuel replied, turning to go.
“Good man, Sam,” Cadmus said before turning back to the Sheriff. “You said this crew sticks to the cities. Where did you find them that you’d end up out here?”
“Down by Farfield, in a buried hideout. The Marshal there sent word after one of the townspeople found the place, torn apart.”
“Strange,” Cadmus mused. “Let’s have a talk with these prisoners.”
“I’ll be shocked if they say anything to you, son,” Weaver said as the two made their way into the straw-lined train car.
The five prisoners were shackled to an iron bar mounted on the car’s far wall. All five stared at the floor, mumbling incoherently to themselves.
“What’s wrong with them?” Cadmus asked, looking to Weaver.
“We don’t know. Some kind of shock from whatever happened to their friends.”
“Makes sense,” Cadmus said, studying the men’s faces. “Wait.”
He moved closer to the prisoners, focusing on the one in the center. This man was older, probably around Weaver’s age, and he was the only one of the men who wasn’t badly injured, with most bearing bandages and bloodstained clothing. His face was marked by dozens of scars and scrapes. Even aged and injured as it was, Cadmus found that face strangely familiar. He moved closer, only a few feet from the man now, and it clicked. He’d glimpsed that face, just briefly, as it had emerged from a Clearwater alley sixteen years earlier.
“You,” Cadmus breathed, eyes widening.
The man looked up, and recognition flashed in his eyes. “Steel,” Tommy rasped. “He said we’d see you. Said I’d know you.”
“Who did?” Cadmus asked.
“He came for us, for revenge. Killed everyone. Killed Frank.”
He paused, eyes glazing. “Tommy,” Cadmus said, shaking him. “Tommy!”
Tommy’s eyes came back into focus. “He’s in my head, Steel. He says–says I have to give you a message.”
“What message?” Cadmus said, his voice breaking as fear and confusion filled his mind.
“He’s coming for you. He’s in my head. He wants you dead, Steel. Get him out of my head,” he began to rock back and forth, muttering to himself again.
“Who, Tommy?” Cadmus asked, shaking the man again.
The reply was a whisper, barely audible.
The man collapsed back into a muttering mess, rocking back and forth and whispering about a man in his head. Cadmus stared for a moment, shock and confusion numbing him, before a rough hand on his shoulder shook him back to reality.
“Son. Son!” Weaver said, and Cadmus knew he must have said it several times before. “What’s wrong son?”
“I know this man,” Cadmus said, slowly coming back to himself. “He’s one of the men that tried to kill me. Before you found me.”
“Ah,” Weaver said, frowning. “What did he say to you, son?”
“He said–” Cadmus began, swallowing hard before he continued. “He said someone is coming for me.”
“Who, son?”
Cadmus steadied himself, wobbling from the strange force behind Tommy’s words. When he spoke, it was a quiet, rasping sentence, filled with fear and worry.
“A Man in Black.”
I do have a prologue that I am debating keeping, but I can share that if anyone wants. Otherwise, feedback is welcome and encouraged. Thank you.