Through the Living Hope
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There's a lot of things in life that I don't think we appreciate as much as we should, or even don't pay attention to at all, like our own behavior.
For my last birthday, my best friend gave me a back of blue Sour Patch Kids, a jar of Alfredo sauce (inside joke), and a small spiral notebook. When I opened the notebook, I saw that she'd written a note to me inside. It's in the spoiler box for size.
Thing is, what she wrote isn't the kind of thing we normally talk about. We talk about books, movies, TV shows, work, sometimes life, but not always our relationship. We don't feel like we need to.
That note... it wasn't what I was expecting at all. It almost brought me to tears. I'm going to share the note (some things redacted for privacy) because I think we need to pay more attention to small things that we don't notice. The way we affect people without meaning to.
Spoiler[My name],
For the last three years you've been by best friend. And comparing you to the others before, my BEST best friend.
When we met, I was twelve and very broken, and you showed me a kind of light that I didn't know existed. I know that God brought us together because He knew that I needed you.
Three years later, and I still find myself needing you at times. You bring out a side of me that was buried for so long. I'm sure it sounds corny and stupid, but I feel like I don't tell you it enough, so here you go, I love you.
Not in the gay way, but like my own sister. You know my sibling situation, and while I love [her sister's name], but I love you more than her, tbh. You've taken the spot of my older sister, and that's something that I've always wanted.
For so long, I've looked for acceptance through people, but you've accepted me for who I am, and not who I try to be.
I know that over the past two years, I've branched out and expanded our friend group, and at times I've seemed mean or I've pushed you to the side. Just know that that has never been my intention, and all I've ever wanted is for you to branch out.
Not that you don't branch out, though. I've watched you come so far in the time that I've known you, and I want you to know that, as essentially meaningless it may seem coming from me, I'm proud to call you my sister in Christ.
But why am I writing this down instead of saying it out loud? Well, if you haven't noticed, I have a hard time expressing feelings and emotions out loud. Unless it's chaos, then I find expressing it very easy.
Also, if I misspell things, I'm sorry, it's like 11:45 at night. Sorry, not sorry.
But anyways, when I thought about what I wanted to do for you for your birthday, the only thing I could think of was this.
Even though it didn't cost more than ten dollars and it's lost, I hope you like it. (If you don't, the Sour Patch Kids are a distraction.)
I wanted to give you the truth. My honest thoughts and feelings about you and our relationship. Feel free to take these pages out and write your plans on how to take over the universe, yes, the sun included.
I know that sometimes it may seem as if I'm closer with other friends, but the truth is, is that I'm so close with you that sometimes, it feels as if you already know what I'm thinking.
And so what am I thinking right now?
That I should have bought you red Sour Patch Kids and some clip ons. But it's whatever. You'll be fine without your sugar levels skyrocketing.
-[Her name]
