I'm not going to bother reading everything here so i'll just drop this:
I think she and Kaladin are making the wrong choice. Shallan and Kaladin's relationship has only just begun. Like Dalinar before him, Kaladin capitulated out of friendship and authority at the expense of not only himself but Shallan too. Whatever Adolin has to offer, words of encouragement, stability and intimacy of the flesh won't be what satiates her soul, her yearning and her sense of purpose. Kaladin on the other hand offers her an intimacy of the soul, the deep understanding of being broken and something to work towards, to mend and fix. In my opinion women in this series have been represented in a very unique light, one that has given me a new perspective. Where some of us men might feel an innate desire to protect and provide for and shatter at the sight of a crying woman, some women might have a similar compulsion towards broken men or men who are somehow wrong or rough on the edges, to fix them or make them whole. A purpose whose reward and compulsion could be greater than stability and the safety of comfort. Dalinar, Navani and Evi are all painted in this light. A broken and quite evil of a man backed by women who could have gotten a much more comfortable accommodation, later to be shaped by these same women into something greater. The women in this book are very cultivation like. Adolin is a dun seed, a dun sphere, vanilla ice cream whereas Kaladin is a tempest, a storm with a gravitational pull of his own.
It's very difficult to put my thoughts into words. They're not really well fleshed out yet but they do make sense in my head. I've been wrong before, like the murder. The author doesn't seem to always put a cliffhanger in order to follow up but also as a feint. With ASK triangle we've got the only sliver of romance in the series and i doubt the author will allow this tension to dissipate without adding a new romance or a romantic tension/development into the book. Adoshall marriage would be all fluff and if kaladin trully accepted this you'd suddenly lose love in the book and i think that's unlikely. Shallan is still clinging onto the locked up and tormented veden self which is not who she really is. Shallan is the girl that ran off on her own, with no parents and a sack of money across the dangerous world to pursue adventure and discovery, not the homely, courtly gal that'd settle for being comfortable. She's the girl that stares down the tempest and shapes it and not one to dally with dun spheres.
Also Kaladin should absolutely not stay alone. He's terrifyingly broken, disillusioned and burdened by what's happening around him and while syl, she's managing to stop him off the figurative cliff, time and time again it is not enough for him. He is stuck. He doesn't just need a woman but a sun that would radiate warmth and hope into his life. I think Shallan with her equally troubled past, a witty tongue and a sense of adventure that would keep his feet moving or his spheres running dry would match him perfectly.