TwiLyghtSansSparkles
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Everything posted by TwiLyghtSansSparkles
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Oh, please. He founds New New England in a place that would make most Brits cry (and Americans, for that matter….but let's not get into that ), talks like an English lord, dresses like he just drove off the set of Downton Abby in one of those vintage cars they use for shoots….it's a wonder none of his people have stumbled across his weakness before. Yay! Edgedancer's back! Nathan is targeted by the League of Evil Exes. What would we call that? Nathan Sperry vs. the Epic League of Evil Exes Nathan Sperry vs. Every Guy Funtimes Has Ever Dated and Holy Burning Calamity That's a Lot of Guys Nathan Sperry vs. the AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Nathan Sperry Teams Up with Steelheart in a Desperate Attempt to Fight Off Some of These Epics Nathan Sperry Has Forsaken All Material Possessions and Hidden Himself Away in an Underground Bunker, Thanking His Lucky Stars Funtimes Never Dated an Earth Epic It…it'd be more of a series, really.
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"Allow me to take this opportunity to remind you of my deep and abiding hatred for any musical works extolling the virtues of the now-defunct United States of America. Whoever informed the good Doctor of how passionately I despise the works of Toby Keith will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. However, if one of you happens to locate the mysterious stereo blaring 'Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue' and destroy it, you will be rewarded handsomely for your diligence." (Maybe the sequel game will involve a now-reformed Funtimes attempting to dismantle the regimes of her League of Evil Exes, to atone for making their people suffer through her breakups.)
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Run from Brother Sharkbait! Sharkbait hoo…bah…ba-doo. I'm imagining one or two brave souls who run back to their homes for pitchers and buckets, then plant themselves as close to the edge of the reservoir as they can manage, waiting for it to turn to water so they can scoop up as much as they can. Then, after he dumps her, Funtimes gives those people nice cold glasses of water just to annoy her ex.
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What a pleasant man Brother Sharkbait is. So that would mean their breakup could have been triggered by Funtimes' insistence that he turn the oil into soda instead. When he pointed out that it would turn to sickly-sweet syrup in the desert sun, she said "Fine!" and turned it into water just to spite him. He quickly turned it back to oil, but the seeds of their breakup were sown.
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Oh, that would be a nice twist on the "healing and resurrection" power set. And perhaps a reason why he was initially receptive to a romantic relationship with Funtimes: She has powers similar to his. Nathan is the standard for harmlessness now. Not a fluffy bunny. Not a puppy. Not a brick secretly made out of porridge. Nathan. (I get the comparison, though.)
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Could he? What are Greyback's powers, anyway? Healing and/or resurrection, definitely, to explain the poison tea thing, but what offensive powers does he have? (Although, I get the feeling it doesn't matter too much. Heracles' answer to most problems was "punch it until it goes away." )
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Just stay away from the one that swims in a chain mail bikini. He's still not happy about that. (Also, he's swimming in chain mail. He's kind of an idiot.)
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You're better off without him, Funtimes.
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So he can embrace his destiny as Weasel-Man! The man who looks like a weasel and....um....
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Whilst browsing TVTropes, I learned that the powers of the basilisk do not work on weasels. Does CorpseMaker, our human basilisk, have a similar limitation?
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I….. I don't know. I do know he dumped her like a sir. A romantic comedy….about terrorists? Face it, that's what the Reckoners are, to virtually every Epic they meet. Plans? What are those? Um, I say just plot out the character arcs and let them lead.
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Calamity ruins everything. And thanks to that stupid star, brace yourself for more dark!Funtimes in future posts. Then it looks like they were a couple. Well, until she got creeped out by the tea thing. Also, Nevada? Nevada sucks, Earl Greyback.
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In a word: yes. Her backstory goes into the reasons for this, but she's basically an Epic who tried to fight Calamity's fires with fun. It....hasn't worked very well. Oddly enough, I'd pictured Earl Greyback when I wrote that bit, and you completely coincidentally confirmed it later. But it could be another healing Epic who had a fondness for poisoned tea, if the Earl would consider Funtimes beneath his notice.
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I actually haven't decided on an exact number yet. I do know that after she left Seattle, there was a fairly long stretch where she was alone. Her meetings with her boyfriends were....random, to say the least, but I haven't decided exactly how many of those meetings there were. I do know that, for the length of time it was (about two years) the number was somewhat high. Most of them were near her power level, either right at or slightly above or below. Because of that, she was genuinely in danger a few times (especially from Epics with healing or immortality, plus an offensive power; they didn't go down as easily as she thought they did and, in one case, literally came back to haunt her the next day) and relied on her teleportation ability to escape. (Which is part of why the notion Nathan might only be with her because he doesn't have another option hasn't occurred to her--she's used to being on fairly equal footing with her boyfriends and is so enamored with him that she doesn't stop to think that, hey, I could kill him eight different ways without thinking about it, one of which involves returning him to Fortuity, and he couldn't even shoot me to stop it.)
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Oh, he was muscular. Called himself Heracles, since he was a bit of a hipster and thought the name Hercules was too mainstream. (Also that he didn't know as much about Greek mythology as he said he did, since Heracles means "glory of Hera" and hints at the way said goddess made his life miserable to repay her husband for his 75737578th affair.) He wore a toga, thinking it showed off his physique. Funtimes was initially drawn to the shiny laurel crown he wore, and when they teamed up to take down her most recent ex, she declared him her boyfriend. Unfortunately, their relationship was on shaky ground from the start. His repeated reminders of how fragile she was, plus her not so harmless pranks to prove him wrong, placed them at odds. It all ended when he suggested a chain mail bikini, at which she lost her temper and stuck him in one instead.
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It should be one, but Nighthound would take it out of context. Its a shame there's no button that says "NO BIKINIS MISTER" or something similar. (What would Mitchins think of Funtimes' old boyfriend's punishment....? )
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Fanficcers don't stop when the canon is fanfic. If anything, it only encourages them.
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Permanently? She didn't mean for that to happen. The sight was so ghastly she fled immediately. Perhaps it's a statement as to the brutality of female Epics, but sadly one that prevents him from ever being taken seriously. (One day. One day, I will go back and name every Epic in Funtimes' League of Evil Exes. ) Agreed. He must be ponified posthaste. Were I on a computer and not my phone, I would do it.
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Oh, they're super careful about that. On the tour, they explained some of the procedures they use when adding new materials to the collection. First they use special chemicals (I don't remember exactly what they use, but they said it doesn't harm the paper and is super gentle) to kill any silverfish. Then they look at the materials, move them to a safe location, and keep the temperature down low (61, I think) so the heat doesn't destroy the really rare materials. There's a lot more to it, but preservation and archiving is an entirely separate branch of library science, that's how detailed it is. I smell a conspiracy. A conspiracy to rid the world of female Epics. Mitchell. His first name is Mitchell.
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I don't think there's a fee, and I haven't been able to set up an appointment yet due to homework, but from what I understand you set up the appointment, tell them what you'd like to see, and wait in a reading room while they bring it to you. I'm pretty sure you're supervised, and I'm certain you have to wear gloves and follow any other instructions to the letter. So he can create useless but shiny armor, and his weakness is anyone who points out the obvious. Even Curveball would call him a minor Epic. Heck, from what you've told me about him, Mitchins would join the ladies in destroying Nighthound. I say this must happen immediately.
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I wish I could've just sat down and read every single one of them, but most of them were too fragile. I'd love to go back one day, set up an appointment, and take a look at some of the books in their vault with all the proper precautions taken. Of course Mitchins must face an opponent with the Most Common Super Power. How did she make a chain mail bikini….at home….? The most obvious answer would be that Funtimes did it, but she only did that once. One of her ex-boyfriends wanted her to change her costume to something more…well, bikini-like, so she turned his costume into a chain mail bikini. And that is why she can never, ever, ever go back to Cincinnati.
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That sounds amazing. I adore old books. My university has a rare-books vault where they keep all of the old and fragile books in their collection—they have one by Galileo, annotated by Galileo (basically him reading over his own book and critiquing his ideas in the margins), as well as a number of pocket journals from the Renaissance and colonial America. (Many Puritans would keep pocket journals and pencils with them so they could write down any spiritual insights or questions that occurred to them throughout the work day. I don't know if that's what those were, but I'd love to crack one open and find out.) They even had a scroll. We went on a tour of the vault for my intro course when I entered the library science program, and I had to stuff my hands in my pockets to keep from touching everything. Ah, ye olden days of "ample bosoms." I suspect one of three things: 1. Old-school fantasy writers like Salvatore were from a strange male-only writers cult where they had never met a woman and thus thought chain mail bikinis (!!!!!) were what any warrior woman would wear. 2. They were from a co-ed cult where women were only permitted to wear leather and chain mail bikinis. No woman was allowed to express disgust, dismay, or even discomfort at these garments. 3. They liked women in bikinis, and they liked chain mail. Having never seen or worn chain mail, they thought it would translate well into a bikini-like garment. Not one of them bothered to consider the implications of wearing one into battle (um, you left her heart, lungs, and literally every other vital organ, plus a few major arteries exposed, guys). I for one am glad fantasy has grown up as a genre, though I suspect those cults are still out there. How else do you explain the armor choices of female avatars in MMORPGs?
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There are a lot of retirees where I live, so you don't see that as much at the library I frequent. But I worked at a public high school for a year, and there was actually a pretty large number of students who would come in during lunch just to play computer games. Most of the other lunch-hour students came in to work on homework or do research. There was a handful of students who would check out books, and the ones who did did it pretty frequently, but most teenagers just played games. Of course, what do you expect when most of the books in your collection are so outdated they haven't been checked out since 1994. (Seriously, there were a few books there that still had the old-fashioned due date cards, and the last date on them was from the mid-90s. Some of the newer books had been checked out more frequently, but you'd be surprised how many were never checked out at all. It didn't help that the librarian bought books she liked to read, and her tastes were very different from those of her students. )
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Or at the public library. That place is huge. I already know some of their departments…. Lightwards: Natural History Curator Funtimes: Children's Storytime Leader Saccharine: Homeopathy Program Manager Sam: YA Curator Paladin: Security Nighthound: the only person ever to be permanently banned from a public library with the words "…mercy on your soul."
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Indeed. Especially since we would've had to make up much more down-to-earth reasons for all of our characters to wind up in Portland together. (Unless we wanted to go with a one-size-fits-all origin story and have every single character accept a job at the exact same company around the same time. Which could be equally interesting—I for one would like to see how Funtimes and Lightwards handle a joint meeting with middle management. ) (Thanks! I hope I get a decent grade. Snarls with my other two projects put me behind schedule on this one, but it looks like I'll have it completed by the deadline. )