I exist

[Destruction he/him]

I decided to join the 17 shard. I have read basically all of the books Brandon has written.  

[Guest Coda]

Good for you! Would you like a baked confection? The cake is lovely, the waffles are divine, but the cookies are to die for.

[Destruction he/him]

I might want them depending on what is in the baked confection.

Do I actually have to die to get the cookies?

[Guest Coda]

Of course not, my destructive friend. You are a spren after all. You wouldn't die, merely become a shiny sword!

[Destruction he/him]

How about a deal i'll have the cookies if you have the cookies

[Guest Coda]

But I have the cookies and I'm offering them to you.

[Destruction he/him]

Then I'll take the cookies and then destroy them. Proceed to bake my own cookies and give them back to you.

[Guest Coda]

How terrible! Such a waste of cookies. You could offer them to others, and yet you waste them by throwing them atop a pyre. Shameful, truly shameful. Your cookies probably have raisins, judging by your threats.

[Destruction he/him]

no I'll keep the spikes from your cookies because based off your post in "You know you're a Sanderfan When" that's what you're trying to do to me.

[Guest Coda]

Such accusations! The first rule of business is to never speak of things directly! How are you going to survive the Alleys? You just assume there are spikes in my cookies. Honestly. Everyone knows that you can never assume the nature of confections. Assuming there are spikes is a one-way ticket to never tasting the warm chocolatey goodness of an unspiked cookie. Of course, picking through a cookie for spikes in front of the salesman is very offensive. Watch what you say, young spren.

[Destruction he/him]

okay I understand. I don't think your cookies are safe but you mentioned some delicious sounding treats that I could try.

[Guest Coda]

Yes, the other wares in my bakery are cakes, cupcakes, pancakes, waffles, muffins, pies, cinnamon rolls, crêpes, croissants, éclairs, really everything you can dream of. Just name a pastry you would like, and you can go on your way.

[Destruction he/him]

Maybe I could have a crepe rolled very thin and no toppings whatsoever to make sure there are no contaminants.

[Guest Coda]

Here you go!

Watch out for the metal fillings. They get stuck in your teeth.

[Destruction he/him]

I don't quite understand are the topping shown in the picture actually not there or am I supposed to ignore them

1 minute ago, Coda said:

 

Watch out for the metal fillings. They get stuck in your teeth.

 

[Guest Coda]

I couldn't find a picture without toppings. Imagine the oranges are another dish, the sugar is there but is just sugar, and the whipped cream is an optional dip in the center of your plate.

[Destruction he/him]

What about the metal fillings?

[Guest Coda]

Why they are baked in of course!

[Destruction he/him]

OK I think I'll take the crepes then do they cost anything or are they free?

[Guest Coda]

Take them! It's only your Breath. Just say, "My life to yours, my Breath become yours."

[Destruction he/him]

I think I'm good.

[Elend Venture he/him]

Welcome to the shard! Looks like you are already wise to the hidden contents of certain unnamed baked goods presented by strangers. 

Who was your favorite cosmere character?

[Honorless he/him]

Welcome to the Shard, @spren of destruction

[Destruction he/him]

Hello and thank you. 

My favorite cosmere character is most likely Hoid just in general or Kaladin for the Stormlight archive.