Cosmere Burn Book

[+Brassweaver]

We all desperately need a complication and discussion of all of the shade thrown by Cosmere characters. Anything from Shallan's quips to Wayne's outright insults of Steris. Lets make this happen! Also spoilers for everything

 

That moment when pattern totally burned Brightness Inadara in Words of: 

“Know you nothing of Patterns, old human?” Pattern said, huffing. When had he picked up how to huff? “Voidbringers have no pattern. Besides, I have read of them in your lore. They speak of spindly arms like bone, and horrific faces. I should think, if you wish to find one, the mirror might be a location where you can begin your search.”

Sanderson, Brandon. Words of Radiance (The Stormlight Archive, Book 2) (p. 982).

 

 

One of the many Kaladin-Shallan spats:

"That face of yours can kill any man from a distance.” “Any man?” she asked. “Why, it’s not working on you. I guess that’s proof that you’re not much of a man.” “I misspoke. I didn’t mean any man, just males of your own species—but don’t worry, I’ll take care not to let our chulls get close.” “Oh? Your parents are in the area, then?”

Sanderson, Brandon. Words of Radiance (The Stormlight Archive, Book 2) (pp. 427-428)

 

When Wyndle has had it with Lift in Edgedancer:

"I’d say that I’m probably giving you lip. And you probably deserve it.”

Sanderson, Brandon. Arcanum Unbounded: The Cosmere Collection (p. 602). 

 

I'm not sure if Adolin, Hoid, or Cultivation is getting burned in this one, but someone is:

"[Adolin] leaned in to Wit. “Hands off.”

“She’s far too young for me, child,” Wit said.

“That’s right,” Adolin said with a nod. “Stick to women your own age.”

Wit grinned. “Well, that might be a little harder. I think there’s only one of those around these parts, and she and I never did get along.”

“You are so bizarre,” Adolin said, climbing into the carriage.

Sanderson, Brandon. Words of Radiance (The Stormlight Archive, Book 2) (p. 641). 

 

More Kaladin vs. Shallan, who do y'all think wins?:

“Don’t lie,” she said. “You’ve never liked me. Right from the start. And not just because of the boots. I see how you watch me.”

“That’s because,” he said, “I know you’re lying through your smile at everyone you meet. The only time you seem honest is when you’re insulting someone!”

“The only honest things I can say to you are insults.”

“Bah!” he said. “I just . . . Bah! Why is it that being around you makes me want to claw my face off, woman?”

“I have special training,” she said, glancing to the side. “And I collect faces.”

Sanderson, Brandon. Words of Radiance (The Stormlight Archive, Book 2) (p. 826). 

 

So Shallan needs to repent for this one, but its still a burn: 

"Great. He [Renarin] was creepy and whiny. “Well, your father ordered you to help me, so deal with your issues."

Sanderson, Brandon. Words of Radiance (The Stormlight Archive, Book 2) (p. 1000).

 

So I'm going to try to stagger the Wit burns in here because there are so many amazing ones, but here's one from all the way back in way of kings:

“Ah, young Prince Adolin!” Wit exclaimed. “You actually managed to pry yourself away from the camp’s young women long enough to join this hunt? I’m impressed.”

Sanderson, Brandon. The Way of Kings (The Stormlight Archive, Book 1) (p. 197).

 

When Breeze wants Vin to talk more: 

“Vin, my dear!” Breeze said, lounging at a table near the center of the room. “Welcome! How was Fellise?”

Vin shrugged, taking a seat at the table.

“Ah,” Breeze said. “I’d almost forgotten what a fascinating conversationalist you are."

Sanderson, Brandon. Mistborn Trilogy (Kindle Locations 3016-3018). 

[Random Reader]

I don't have the quote, but Dalinar's reply to Wit about his being the Stormfather.

[Ashspren]

Quote

“Well, he must have spoken of it to others. This lot are cowards—and no doubt that makes them feel like experts on the subject, for they’ve certainly been calling you that a great deal lately.”
“Stormfather!”
“No, I’m Wit. But I understand how easy a mistake that is to make.”
“Because you blow so much air,” Dalinar growled, “or because you make so much noise?”

I love that quote!

 

Quote

“Brightlord Cadilar! How good it is to see you. Your face reminds me of someone dear to me.”
“Really?” wizened Cadilar said, hesitating.
“Yes,” Wit said, waving him on, “my horse.”

I kind of feel bad for Cadilar... I think that he thought he was going to get genuinely complimented... 

Edited April 25, 2018 by Ashspren