How is Adolin so normal?

[shawnhargreaves he/him]

Adolin is just a thoroughly nice guy.  Lots of friends, besties with his weird kid brother, and has the kind of solid relationship with his dad that lets him question his father's sanity (during WoK) while remaining supportive and non-confrontational.  He earns the trust of Kaladin (who wasn't exactly preinclined to appreciate a lighteyed prince!) and Shallan (who finds him a steadying influence while dealing with her own crazy), and is able to appreciate their unique strengths.  He has achieved a top level of skill in his chosen field, and is a capable military commander, respected by his men.  Etc, etc.   Maybe not the brightest bulb in the pack, but he is bright enough, capable, reliable, and simply a GOOD person.

How did this happen?

His childhood seems like a recipe for disaster.  Dalinar was NOT a good father!  Often absent, preoccupied by his work, struggling with anger and addiction.  Occasionally spent time with Adolin (so they could bond over a shared love of military excellence) but I bet Dalinar was the kind of parent who missed a lot of his kids practice duels, at the last minute after promising to be there :-)  Everyone around him looked up to Dalinar, but also feared him.

Evi seems like an incredible woman.  She gave her children love and stability, but they also had to watch her obvious misery and disfunctional marriage.  Dalinar and Evi fundamentally disagreed not just on life goals and priorities, but also on really important basic stuff like how to listen to a partner and resolve disagreements without fighting.

And then she died while they were still young.  And their dad wouldn't talk about the details.  And he drank more.  And then he wouldn't talk about Evi at all, for reasons we now understand but they did not.

Most kids from that background would have a deep anger at the world, temper management issues, and would struggle to trust others or forming lasting relationships.  Doubly so where there remaining parent was concerned.  Adolin does indeed skitter around the lasting relationship thing, but he has no problem with trust or anger, and makes it through some really difficult situations with Dalinar seemingly without breaking a sweat.

In short, Adolin is amazing!   I hope Dalinar realizes just how lucky he got there.

[Greywatch she/her]

Yeah, I would say the way his mother raised him has a lot to do with it, and even all that time, she made sure that Adolin and Renarin both thought Dalinar was amazing.

He just seems to have a lot of mental and emotional resilience! 

[maxal she/her]

You forgot Dalinar literally dismissing Adolin for years because he reminded him of the wife he wanted to get rid of so badly, but once it happens, in the worst possible way, he can't help feeling guilty. 

Quote

Emotions warred inside Dalinar. Me.mories of good years spent with his son in Jah Keved, riding or teaching him the sword. 

Memories of her. The woman from whom Adolin had inherited  that blond hair and that smile. So genuine. Dalinar wouldn't trade Adolin's sincerity for a hundred of soldiers in proper uniforms.

But he also couldn't face it right now.

"Father?" Adolin said.

"You're in uniform, soldier. Your tone is too familiar. Is this how I taught you to act?"

Adolin blushed, then put on a stronger face He didn't wilt beneath the stern words. When censured, Adolin only tried harder.

I think the last sentence explains it the best. When censured, Adolin only tried harder. Hence, when confronted with an often absent anger prone father, when growing up in a dysfunctional family, when living through his mother being assassinated, when seeing his father succumb to alcohol, when being constantly rebuffed by a father treating him a a soldier when he is just 15, Adolin only tried harder to be a better son. 

Not all people growing up into such families develop issues and Adolin just coped, but everyone has a threshold. Sooner or later, Adolin will be faced with a problem he cannot solved, with a situation where trying harder is not helping or so I hope. I'd be interesting.

Edited November 22, 2017 by maxal

[Erunion he/him]

He is normal and kind and generous because Evi was a storming amazing woman who was waaaay too good for this world. 

She was just lovely - kind, honest, honourable. Incredibly supportive and helpful. Encouraging her kids to love their oft-absent father, and seeing the best in him in his darkest times. The real best, not the brutal, deadly, Alethi version of his ‘best’. 

Shes the only one who was happy Dalinar didn’t brutally murder a child and his mother. 

Evi was a storming saint, and Adolin/Renarin are the result of that. 

[Staphylococcus she/her]

The answer to why he ended up so awesome is mostly Evi's love and the fact that he's a perfect blend of her pretty hair and pure amazingness and Dalinar's resilience and millitary skill.

Gotta love Adolin! 

Edited November 22, 2017 by Staphylococcus

[WhiteLeeopard she/her]

It is quite impressive that Adolin is as whole as he is. However, OB also explained why he and Renarin were over-the-top close. In this in particular Renarin got it worse, at least Adolin had times when his father showed his obvious love of his son, but Renarin didn't get that until a very long time later. Still, neither was in an amazing place, and it makes sense both children gravitated to each other.

Almost makes me wonder why Jasnah didn't join the group too, as she obviously had problems too and the 3 of them as an oasis of peace from their fathers might have preserved their sanity. After all, Jasnah says she was close to Renarin but she didn't appear on Dalinar's flashbacks until Gavilar's death. Of course Dalinar was so high/drunk during most of Jasnah's life he wouldn't have noticed if she and her sons were as close as white on rice.

[aemetha he/him]

I find it interesting that we have a thread extolling the normality of the only "hero" character we know to be unequivocally guilty of murder. A murder he almost committed publicly on several occasions might I add. No, Adolin isn't normal or well adjusted at all, it's just that his maladjustment is looked upon more favourably than others.