Naming a Magic System

[Heir of the Void he/him]

Anyway, here is the first 750ish words of chapter 2

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/16YDx-wYKN7UAcTEUQeQng-tLfSPPO5ZUYqMoAgjSVaQ/edit

[Swimmingly he/him]

I like it. Though I feel like a fairly poor family would protest more about their vase being picked up and beaten against their table.

[Heir of the Void he/him]

So, any ideas for powers?

[Swimmingly he/him]

Powers?

Give me some time to think

So Perfecting = drawing in area perfection + using your innate stores of perfection

Trancing (I'll call it that until you give it another name) = taking a Perfected object and drawing that perfection into yourself

Archons have innate skill and power? Or are they just elite imperial Perfecters?

The Raiders... How about giving them something? They could have the Desecrators, who can counteract Perfecters and tear their way through things with bear hands, or something like that.

Another possibility is people who can move Perfection from a single object into a single other object - they would have no innate Perfection to draw on and be much more limited than either Perfectors and Desecrators in scope, but could perform basic forms of both arts.

It follows then, that there be people who could use Perfection only internally, drawing only on their innate pool. Perhaps they could have a much larger innate pool to compensate for that?

Edited February 19, 2014 by Swimmingly

[Heir of the Void he/him]

I'm just worried about the wordcount, is all. Most of Brandon's books, which are the sort of thing I'm trying to immatate, are over 200k words, and I'm olny at 5k, and the words don't seem to be comming as eaisly as with some other things.

[Swimmingly he/him]

Haha, word count is the last thing to worry about. Doesn't matter how many words you have if you aren't happy with them.

[Heir of the Void he/him]

I know. Sill, i worried I'm not generating enough content.

[Swimmingly he/him]

Empty content is worse than no content.

[Heir of the Void he/him]

Hey guys (Swiningly). I know your busy with Words of Radiance, but when your done wringing every bit of sense out of the book, I need some help. I'm trying to write an interrrogation scene for the prisoner Tavaril inadvertantly captured, but its not comming out. I need to think of what they would potentially ask the prisoner, and general advice.

[Swimmingly he/him]

Depends what they want to know. Where are the rebel bases? What's the meaning of life? What's the name of their warchief? Where are the next raids going to be? Etc.

[Heir of the Void he/him]

I added another thousand words or so to chapter two. The interogation was suposed to be mildly creepy, to establish something of a 'dark side' to Risim.

Also, Eanalit is a girl. I'm trying to decide when and how to drop that.

[Heir of the Void he/him]

I've updated the interogation scene, but it definatly needs some work. Please advise.

[Quiver he/him]

I'm reading the latest chapter you posted now, so I'll edit this with something whenever I'm done.

 

EDIT And it's nitpicking, but I'm commenting on diferent things as I work through it. I'll put the interrogation thoughts here though; these are just random factoids which popped out at me for one reason or another, but that don't warrant a whole paragraph of critique.

 

So, aside from minor word choices, I liked it. For criticism, I'd say that Eanalit appeared a bit wordier than I would have expected at first, given the situation and her role as a warrior, though that is just playing into my own steretypical notions of that sort of character.

 

Maybe try and add a bit more to the emotions to the scene? Until Tavril jumped off the horse, I'd forgotten he was there. You have some of it at the end, with his considering the monster before him, then reversing the opinion... so maybe set some of that up earlier. What does he think of Risim's manner? Does he think it's fair retribution, or does it scare him a bit? Then how is that changed whenever he starts to feel more sympathetic to Eanalit? 

Edited March 24, 2014 by Quiver

[Therian]

On 2/12/2014 at 6:42 PM, Heir of the Void said:

So, I'm working on developing a new magic system for a novel I'm starting. The magic works by essentially 'drawing out' the possibility in an item, allowing it to function... better. For example, a sword affected by this magic would become harder, stronger, sharper, and lighter. A person with this magic can enhance themselves, heightening their physical abilities, ability to process information, and so forth.

 

A higher form of magic is obtained when using a 'focus', an item which, when improved, instead affects the person improving it, granting them some form of limited supernatural power. For example, one character possess a focus which enables him to manipulate air pressure (pleasedon'thitme). I would welcome suggestions for other foci.

 

A few more things are possible with this magic, but I want a decent working name to use before I work any farther on developing it.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

I would call it "Refining" and call the practitioners "Finers"