Robinski - 160802 - Qk - Submission 2 - 2950 words (L)

[Robinski he/him]

It's a little person with shifty eyes and a balaclava, I believe.

And the name's Quirk, James (T) Quirk... not Quark. I have nothing against Quark, but it sounds like a duck.

[kais]

17 minutes ago, Robinski said:

James (T) Quirk... not Quark

Sorry! I have a bad head for names in the best of circumstances. Just keep beating me with the right spelling. It'll get into my brain eventually.

[Coop]

Just reading this submission now because I didn't get a chance to last week and I want to be caught up when you make your next submission... So here's just a few thoughts.

I wasn't terribly interested in Grimes' character and there wasn't a whole lot of plot going on to maintain my interest there either. HOWEVER, you have an excellent eye for observation about these characters and their surroundings and have a remarkable way of capturing these insights in just a phrase or two, so I found myself simply enjoying your prose. Looking forward to seeing what you can do with this excellent prose in a book, beyond these character sketches.

I'm also interested in seeing how you will use Quirk in your final product. Seems like you could take him all sorts of directions--a mark of a strong character. I'm feeling sort of a love-hate thing toward him: I'm apprehensive about him and am kinda rooting against him, but simultaneously can't take my eyes off him. In case this is helpful to you, something keeps reminding me of Baron Harokonnen when I read Quirk. Not that Quirk is a copy in any way--he's definitely different in language, for example--but they seem similar at their cores. I just mention this so you know what kind of reaction I'm having to him as a reader. Also, maybe I missed some descriptors, but I can't get a sense of what Quirk looks like. I know what he's wearing of course , and I know he's bothered by his weight, but I can't tell if he's just worried about a few pounds or if he's a lot heavier. Age? Other?

I'm enjoying it!

[Robinski he/him]

Thanks for the comments Coop, much appreciated. Your reaction is fascinating, and I'm glad that your interest has been snagged to some degree. That's great. Yeah, plot is basically non-existent in these pieces, which was inevtiable, I guess, but must drag on the interest in what's happening because of that. I'm working on plot now, so hopefully interest will increase.

Presently I'm writing beginnings, three of them based on different promoses to the reader. So I expect that will be my next submission in a couple of weeks - slots permitting!

Thanks again. Baron Harkonnen indeed. Wow! Yes, I will need to flesh out the portraits of Quirk and Moth.  

[krystalynn03 she/her]

On 8/17/2016 at 1:46 AM, Robinski said:

Baron Harkonnen indeed

Interesting comparison...