Camp NaNoWriMo Writing projects feedback thread

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

So I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread to get feedback on our NaNo projects to improve on during this month.

For those of you who have read my Ragnaro- Jormungandr (Ouroboros Rising) Story, I decided to redo the whole thing, make it more dramatic etc etc.

I just finished Part 1 of the Prelude

Here it is

Spoiler

Prelude to Ragnarok

Part 1- Awakening

Odin hung there. From the branches of Ydrassil, the world tree.  Eyes closed, a thick fraying noose around his neck. His winged helmet, on the dark green grass underneath him, speckled with the odd colour of flowers.  As he hung, he dreamt, he saw the worlds drifting, he saw his children, his subjects, his comrades. He saw all. Two black ravens stood on the branch where Odin’s noose hung from, impossibly still, grey, stormy eyes unblinking.

Odin’s visions were broken; he could see no more. Then a light slowly revealed itself in the distance, growing larger and brighter by the moment. He felt a flicker of unease as the silhouette of three figures defined themselves. Closer, closer, closer they came, and with each step, Odin could make out more details of his visitors. The three figures made themselves out as women, walking side by side. The one in the middle held a lantern aloft, it’s light a brilliant sheen of white, radiating power. She was tall, fair-skinned and in her middle years. Draped in green robes, with golden yellow hair cascading over her shoulders. Her face was angular, her eyes almond, her nose upturned, almost in disdain. And yet….her face showed no emotion.

The woman on the right was hunched over. She wore a black shawl and grey robes. In one hand she carried a gnarled, shrivelled apple, and in the other a walking stick fashioned out of deadwood with a platinum handle. A long, hooked, deathly pale nose protruded from her shawl, wrinkled with a wart on the left side. The rest of her face was hidden in the shadow of her shawl.

The last woman, now on closer inspection was little more than a girl, short, plump with a jovial face. She wore red robes and skipped alongside the others, a piece of string trailing from her hands, glistening in the lamplight. She had dirty blonde hair fashioned into two ponytails, the one on her left had a green bow fixed to it.

Odin began to sweat, he knew what was about to happen, but he dared not dwell on it, lest it become truly reality. Everyone knew who the three ladies were, for they ruled the lives of gods and men alike. They were the Norns, deciders of fate and destiny. Odin realised who these three were. Uror, Veroandi, and Skuld, the three most important Norns.

It was not long before they stood before him, silent for a few moments that seemed like eternities to Odin. And then, tendrils of mist appeared, covering the ground and a well rose from the mists. The mist retreated, leaving sand in it’s wake. The Norns then drew water from the well, and took sand from around the well, which they mixed together. A root suddenly sprouted from the sand. The Norns then poured the water and sand over the roots, which slowly retreated. Odin looked on confused, his eyes darting from the receding root to the well which faded from his vision.

Simultaneously, the Norns took one step forward and spoke.

 

“Ninety days till the sun and moon disappear

Ninety days till the wolf breaks clear

Ninety days and the worlds shall burn

Ninety days and the waters will churn

Ninety days the Aesir will fall

Ninety days heed Jotun call

Ninety days the Vigrid will be stained red

And Loki will rise from Betrayal’s bed”

 

The last thing Odin heard before waking were the echoes of raven cries.