Popular Post Kobold King he/him Posted October 8, 2015 Popular Post Posted October 8, 2015 (edited) Scene 1 Scene opens; Wax is sobbing into Steris' arms. After a while, Steris wordlessly gets up and walks out the way she came, leaving Wax sitting awkwardly staring at a fire. Scene 2 Scene opens; day, in the police station. Marasi: Hey MeLaan. I was thinking about the whole "Trell" thing. It's pretty alarming. MeLaan: Yeah, yeah. It's pretty serious. Did you see this cool spike I found? * proudly displays polka-dotted spike * Marasi: ...Where did you get that? MeLaan: Pulled it out of Wax's girlfriend while she was sleeping! Marasi: Give it back. MeLaan: Aww. Marasi: And when you're done with that, go back to your cell until you can tie a proper belt knot. MeLaan: Awww! Do I have to? Marasi: Our culture puts a lot of value in belt knots! But if you like I'll talk to Aladar about it. He's just standing by his desk looking dumb. Scene 3 Scene opens; a misty night on top of a tower. Lessie/Paalm is writhing around on the ground for some reason. Wax: Aaaugh! My love! What happened to you? Lessie / Paalm: Harmony is trying to stop taking over my brain, and it's killing me. If only someone could take this cursed magic bullet out of my head... Wax: Don't worry, I have just the tool for that! * points gun; gun goes into reverse, sucking out the magic bullet and safely loading it into a chamber * Wax: I am Harmony's surgical tool. * drops gun * Wax: Oh no! I dropped my bullet-sucking gun! Can you flit aimlessly in the clouds up here while I go pick it up? Then we can race back to the governor's mansion. Lessie / Paalm: Sure thing! Scene 4 Scene opens; night, on a stage before a churning crowd. Aladar: People of Elendel, after much deliberation, I have decided to clear this prisoner of his/her charge of being incapable of tying a belt knot. * crowd turns hostile, shouting and threatening to storm the stage * MeLaan: What is it with you people and belt knots? Aladar: Our culture puts a lot of value in them. MeLaan: Stop yelling at me, peasants! Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is for me to go to jail over knot tying? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? * crowd quiets * MeLaan: Huh. Shouting at the crowd makes them behave. Aladar: Wish we'd known that a while ago. You know, I bet they'll be content to go back to their downtrodden, overworked existence now. Hey, do you know where Marasi is? MeLaan: Nope, but I'm sure she's keeping out of trouble. Aladar: Good. I guess I'll go back to nervously pacing across your lawn now. MeLaan: And I'll shuck out of these bones. They smell like prison and failure. Scene 5 Marasi, somewhere else. Marasi: How dare you Soothe this angry lynch mob into being calm and relatively reasonable! Have you no respect for our culture? Set Soother: ...Could you stop pointing that gun at me? Marasi: ...okay. Scene 6 Interior of the governor's mansion, amidst a pile of corpses. Wax: Ha! Beat you back here! Paalm: You sure did! I had to stop on the way to get myself one of those bullet-sucking guns. * promptly uses gun to suck the bullets out of the dead bodyguards, healing them instantly. They immediately run out of the room. * Wax: YAY, YOU DID IT! Paalm: I KNOW! ISN'T FRIENDSHIP AWESOME? Wax: YOU SHOULD RUN FOR GOVERNOR! Paalm: ALRIGHT THEN, I WILL! Scene 7 Scene opens, somewhere dark. MeLaan: I'm considering what to do with my newfound freedom. Marasi: I'm considering the possibility that I tend to go a bit overboard with things. Wayne: I'm considering a dirty joke based on a comment you haven't made yet! ... MeLaan: I'm considering binding and gagging Wayne, then shoving him in a closet until Governor Paalm lets him out later. Marasi: I consider this a good plan. Scene 8 Scene opens; deep in the caves under the city. Wax: ...What am I even doing down here? TenSoon (in buff humanoid body): Oh, hai! I was hoping you could help me down here. Wax: Okay. What seems to be the problem? TenSoon: Oh, it's dreadful! Look at all these poor Hemalurgic abominations. I found them broken and dead down here and I need your help fixing them. Wax: Oh no! I'll help! TenSoon: Great! I'll put this one's spike back in while you use that gun of yours to suck the bullets out. * a few minutes of frenzied working later * TenSoon: There you go, little cutie pies! Good as new! Look how happy they are! I've never heard such happy howls! Wax: And you're a thousand years old! * TenSoon zips into a shaggy dog body for no apparent reason * TenSoon: Anyway, thanks for the help Wax. Though in truth, the poor Hemalurgic travesties weren't the only reason I wanted to talk to you. Wax: What seems to be the problem? TenSoon: It's... it's about your girlfriend. She's done the most dreadful things. I... I can barely say. Wax (blood running cold): ...What has she done? What has she done? TenSoon: She... she... she... she erased the blood-written footnotes out of our antique book collection! Wax: No! Not my Lessie! To be continued... Actually, probably not. I don't believe in drugs, but I can't get any weirder than this while sober. So just ignore this. Edited October 8, 2015 by Kobold King 22
natc Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 Aladar is an Alethi highprince by the way. You're thinking of a different name. 1
Robot Aztec Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 eeeeh eeeeh eeeeeh (:(:ohno it turnd my fronw upsideown 1
Kobold King he/him Posted October 9, 2015 Author Posted October 9, 2015 Aladar is an Alethi highprince by the way. You're thinking of a different name. Usually I would thank you for the correction and note that I was thinking of Aradel. Given the backwards, random nature of this thread, however, I will maintain that Aladar/Aradel are actually the same time-travelling worldhopper, and trying to distinguish between them is naught but a pointless semantics game. 7
natc Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 Common-born constable is actually a lighteyes of the highest rank?
vineyarddawg Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 Common-born constable is actually a lighteyes of the highest rank? It's a conspiracy!! And we all know who's behind it... S teris A radel D rim E dwarn A llriandre S ophi Tarcsel 8
Sarge he/him Posted October 13, 2015 Posted October 13, 2015 It's a conspiracy!! And we all know who's behind it... S teris A radel D rim E dwarn A llriandre S ophi Tarcsel WOW!! get out the tinfoil hats! or aluminium in this case.... 5
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