Just a bad few weeks

[Erai Sedai he/him]

I'm sorry if this comes out whiney etc, but after a 2 year long relationship i just got broken up with.

I'm on these forums everyday reading the threads (i don't post too much) so i kinda feel really connected here. I hate this feeling so much :\ but i guess it happens. And eventually i'll start to feel better.

I'm trying so hard to just keep my cool

[Blaze1616 he/him]

When something similar happened to me a few years ago, the thing that made me feel better was to let it out, even if I was just alone. If it helps though, the phrase "time heals all wounds" is true in this instance.

[Comatose he/him]

Definitely not whiny!  I'm sure many of us can relate.

 

I'm not sure if you are writing her for advice, or just for affirmation, so I'll offer both and you can choose what you need (warning: affirmation is admittedly a little cheesy, and perhaps over the top.  Click at your own risk).

 

Affirmation: 

You are right, things will get better.  How much time it might take sucks, but things will get better bit by bit, even if they don't get better all at once.  Your life is more than this experience, and you are capable of dealing with this.  There are no right or wrong things to feel.  Whatever you are feeling is legitimate, and you shouldn't have to feel guilty or self-conscious about your feelings.

 

Advice:

I have found that writing letters (ones that I never intended to and never will send) helped me to feel like I had said the things I needed to say and move on to new things, instead of just letting the same thoughts stew in my head.  I also had trouble with being alone, so trying to find things to fill your time with and being around people doing things helps, even if its online people.  I was in the middle of finals during that time, but you have some time to read, I've found that helps as well.   Lots of moving forward is about letting the time that needs to pass pass before you feel up to dealing with things, and keeping busy until that time comes.  Focus on day to day improvements or goals rather than long term.  For me, cleaning my house, going running, or even wrapping a video game made me feel at least a little better.  Also doing lots of different things helped keep me stimulated and from dwelling to much on my emotional state until I was ready. 

 

I also had a lot of trouble with eating and taking care of myself, so if this is a problem for you too, do your best, and accept what help and support you can from other people.  At the same time, don't be afraid to take 'you time', and don't force yourself to be around other people every waking minute if that's not working for you. 

 

With my experience, what was most helpful for me was making some key life changes (to help me feel like I was moving forward), and going on a trip out of the country (which helped me gain some perspective).  I know this doesn't work for everyone, especially not at any time (I had been planning that trip for over a year, and it just happened to fall when I needed it), but if it is a possibility for you, and you think you might benefit from it, I would definitely recommend it! 

 

Don't worry too much about keeping your cool.  You're among nerds here

[Erai Sedai he/him]

When something similar happened to me a few years ago, the thing that made me feel better was to let it out, even if I was just alone. If it helps though, the phrase "time heals all wounds" is true in this instance.

 

 

Definitely not whiny!  I'm sure many of us can relate.

 

I'm not sure if you are writing her for advice, or just for affirmation, so I'll offer both and you can choose what you need (warning: affirmation is admittedly a little cheesy, and perhaps over the top.  Click at your own risk).

 

Affirmation: 

You are right, things will get better.  How much time it might take sucks, but things will get better bit by bit, even if they don't get better all at once.  Your life is more than this experience, and you are capable of dealing with this.  There are no right or wrong things to feel.  Whatever you are feeling is legitimate, and you shouldn't have to feel guilty or self-conscious about your feelings.

 

Advice:

I have found that writing letters (ones that I never intended to and never will send) helped me to feel like I had said the things I needed to say and move on to new things, instead of just letting the same thoughts stew in my head.  I also had trouble with being alone, so trying to find things to fill your time with and being around people doing things helps, even if its online people.  I was in the middle of finals during that time, but you have some time to read, I've found that helps as well.   Lots of moving forward is about letting the time that needs to pass pass before you feel up to dealing with things, and keeping busy until that time comes.  Focus on day to day improvements or goals rather than long term.  For me, cleaning my house, going running, or even wrapping a video game made me feel at least a little better.  Also doing lots of different things helped keep me stimulated and from dwelling to much on my emotional state until I was ready. 

 

I also had a lot of trouble with eating and taking care of myself, so if this is a problem for you too, do your best, and accept what help and support you can from other people.  At the same time, don't be afraid to take 'you time', and don't force yourself to be around other people every waking minute if that's not working for you. 

 

With my experience, what was most helpful for me was making some key life changes (to help me feel like I was moving forward), and going on a trip out of the country (which helped me gain some perspective).  I know this doesn't work for everyone, especially not at any time (I had been planning that trip for over a year, and it just happened to fall when I needed it), but if it is a possibility for you, and you think you might benefit from it, I would definitely recommend it! 

 

Don't worry too much about keeping your cool.  You're among nerds here

Guys sorry i didn't reply earlier, i honestly thought no one replied to this because i got no updates from it! checked now and how true your advice was..

Thanks so much for proving this is the best forum on the net!!

You guys are amazing