Ketek Tries To Write (Forum Edition)- Shaper

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Alrighty, first 5 chapters are in the blog form, I guess I'l continue here!

 

See y'all with chapter 6!

-Ketek

[Verdance he/him]

Can you link the first five here?

Or put them all in spoiler boxes?

sorry, thanks

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Ok.

1.

Spoiler

Alright, I'm trying it out!

SHAPER- 

Chapter 1

    Whill breathed in the sawdust-heavy air of the workshop. It was an early morning, but then again, wasn't it always an early morning? He picked up his gloves from the desk- the desk he had finished with- with---- He shook his head, trying to block out those thoughts. Dangerous thoughts. He put on the gloves, turning towards the back of the shop. 

    Whill had always been a scrawny boy, and even at 17, he was still shorter than most kids his age. That didn’t matter though, because he didn’t know them all too well. He yanked the sheet off of his creation. The thing he had worked on for the last year. It was a complex structure of wood planks, nails, and joints, made for the purpose of… well, Whill wasn’t sure what it was supposed to do yet. It just felt right. He grabbed the saw and got to work.

    The back door creaked open. The sound was so soft, so insignificant that anyone else would have just ignored it. But Whill wasn’t anyone else. 

    “Em, you could have knocked rather than sneaking in. It’s polite.” He rasped, turning towards the sound. 

    The girl, Em, stood in the doorway. She froze. “Again, Elias? How’d you hear me?” She had red hair, the color of burnt maple leaves, and had a lanky figure. She was in the rift below Whill, but she still was half a foot taller than him. “Why do you talk like that, anyways? It makes you sound old.”

    “This is my normal voice.” He said, glaring, “Also, don’t call me by my Luxe. My name is Whill.” He turned to go back to his carpentry, but she spoke again. 

“Oh, quit being so sour. You haven’t left the shop since Jax-” She stopped as Whill cut her off.

“This is not about my brother! I’m not here because he Snapped. I don’t care what it looks like!” Tears stung at Whill’s eyes, but Em couldn’t see them because he was turned away. 

It wasn’t about Jax. He wasn’t grieving. He looked back at the desk that they had made, all those years ago. Whill wanted to make another desk. He wanted to throw that piece-- that piece of garbage out.

It wasn’t about Jax’s Snap. 

"It's -n-not about- J-Jax..." He stuttered, but the tears were already flowing.

2.

Spoiler

Chapter 2

Jax had been like Whill’s parent for his entire life. Their mother and father had both disappeared a few days after Whill was born, and Jax had run away from the orphanage to take care of Whill himself.

And he had done a damn good job.

Whill remembered Jax sneaking out to grab food every morning for the two of them, trying to make sure that he didn’t wake up. Jax had taught him everything he knew, and when the day came that he had turned 18, Whill desperately tried to keep Jax from going to the Bureau of Shaping. 

In Taring, all males, on the day they turned 18, were required to go to the Bureau of Shaping, to be assigned their roles. There were 5 roles.

The best role was Shaped- they were granted extrasensory abilities, and were of the highest social class.

After that, there was Mused- Mused became wealthy business owners and politicians.

Third was Tried- they were the middle class of Taring, having enough money to feed their families, with some spending money left over.

Then there was Burdened- the factory workers, always struggling to get by.

Finally there was Snapped. The mysterious role. Deemed the worst possible.

But Whill knew what had happened to Jax.

He saw it with his own eyes.

As soon as Jax had stepped onto the platform, Whill was forced to watch as his brother, his mentor, was subjected to the worst role that could be assigned.

Snapped.

Jax had been taken to a room, and while no one knew exactly what happened to Snapped, it was obvious. They went into the room, and they never came out.

Whill had been living alone ever since.

He had been given the name Elias at birth, but Jax had always nicknamed him Whill, and since that fateful day, he had refused to be called anything else.

Because that name was the last thing, besides the desk, that he had left of Jax.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Whill blew the sawdust off of his equipment. Em had finally left about an hour before, and since then he had been shaking too much to continue working. 

Whill couldn’t eat that evening.

He didn’t sleep that night.

For tomorrow he would be turning 18.
 

3.

Spoiler

Chapter 3

The dreaded day came.

Whill, having stayed awake all night long, stumbled into the towering dome of the Bureau. Today would decide the rest of his life. 

Whill joined the line of jittering, nervous boys, his mind too nulled to panic. Staying awake all night had dulled his brain, which he would have wondered if that was good or bad.

No one knew how roles were assigned, let alone who assigned them. Whill didn’t care. He knew that there was nothing he could do to prevent his role, and he just hoped for something more than Burdened. 

The Shaping began.

______________________________________________________________________________

As the line of boys grew shorter and shorter, Whill watched some react ecstatically to getting Mused or Tried, and others sulk after receiving Burdened. Nobody got Shaped, and there were only two boys who were Snapped. Both fought but failed to escape.

After a long time, it was Whill’s turn. 

As he stepped onto the platform, he suddenly became hyperaware of all the sounds around him. Frantic conversations, hurried mumbling- he heard every word at the same time. He looked up, like Jax had done so long ago.

“Name?” some unseen voice probed.

“Whi- uh… Elias,” He stuttered, the voices of tens of people thundering in his ears.

A few minutes passed.

After the longest moment of his life, Whill heard the voice again. “You have received the role of-” Whill didn’t hear anything else. All the sounds around him stopped. He opened his mouth, and asked “What?” but he didn’t hear himself talk. 

There were no more sounds. People’s mouths moved, but there were no more sounds.

He couldn’t hear anything. His brilliant sense of hearing was gone.

Whill was deaf.

4.

Spoiler

Chapter 4

Whill couldn’t hear. His best sense- gone. 

But he knew he was a Shaped.

The only reason he knew this was the banners that now hung on the walls with squares imprinted on them- the emblem of the Shaped.

He staggered off the platform, and ducked into a corner. 

Why? Why did I become deaf? A deaf Shaped- that’s a paradox. Shaped are supposed to gain enhanced senses, not lose them entirely! What happened to me?

His thoughts sped by, as he hid in the corner.

He sat down, his breathing turning quick and shallow. What is happening to me? Why me? I- he began to panic, curling up as the ever-present silence enveloped him, all sound gone. He couldn’t so much as remember what his own voice sounded like. All there was was silence. 

He began to cry, curling tighter. 

I wish I would have gotten something else. I don’t care that I got Shaped. I wish I was anything else. Dammit, I just want to hear again!

He cried in that eternal silence for a long time. 

It wasn’t until after he fell asleep in that corner when he stopped crying.

____________________________________________________________________________

Whill awoke in a soft, large bed. 

He shifted upright, and surveyed the room around him.

It was a luxury bedroom, the kind that only exceptionally rich Mused could afford. There were soft pillows, glass tables, bookshelves with limited edition books, and much more.

Was- was it all a dream? He wondered.

But the hope he had was short-lived. As he hopped out of the increasingly soft bed, he didn’t hear his feet hitting the hardwood floor. He didn’t hear his breathing. 

Whill was still shrouded in empty, complete silence.

He surveyed the room again. 

A finger tapped his right shoulder. He jumped, startled.

How did someone sneak up on me? That’s never- oh, yeah.

He swiveled around to see a tall, composed man standing in front of him. The man’s mouth was moving, and because Whill had no experience with lip-reading, it was complete nonsense to him.

“I… can’t.. hear you, sir.  I…. suddenly… went deaf… at the… shaping.. ceremony…” He mouthed the words carefully, unsure of what he was actually saying. He felt his face blush.

The man looked confused, and seemed to excuse himself, dashing out of the room.

Where am I?

5.

Spoiler

Chapter 5

Whill sat back down on the plush mattress. 

And waited for something to happen. Anything to happen.

Because Whill had no screwing idea what was happening to him.

He surveyed the room a third time, looking for a hint, a sign, anything that could identify where he was. There were no windows and the only door was locked from the outside.

If Shaped are so glorified, why am I being held prisoner?

Without anything else to do, he grabbed a book of the shelf and flipped it open. 

An object fell out. It hit the floor with a clunk.

The book held a secret compartment.

What? Whill bent down and picked up the object.

It was a carved piece of wood. Anyone else would have thought it as nothing special, but Whill gasped.

It was a present he had made for Jax when Jax had turned 16. Whill had spent 3 nights carving each intricate line on the wood, trying to impress his older brother. He had never managed to finish the carving, but Jax said he'd treasure it anyways.

Why on Nolor is this in here? How did they get this? Whill then noticed a note on the back.

Whill.

If you find this, I’m still alive.

-Jax

Whill blinked once, twice, then fainted.

6.

Spoiler

Chapter 6

Jax.

I woke up to darkness. The room around me could have been on fire, but I’d still see darkness.

That’s all I’d seen since they took my vision. 

I sat up and felt around to see if I was in the same room as last time. Stone floor, no sheets- yup, same place they had put me yesterday morning. There was a knock on the door, and the door creaked open. 

“Get up.” a gruff voice said in my ear, trying to startle me. I didn’t react. 

“Here to give me my eyes back, nitwit?” I grumbled back at him, mocking his voice. That’d annoy him.

I was rewarded with a slap in the face. I tried to rise, but a needle poked my skin. Great.

“D-damn y-you,” I managed before drifting into unconsciousness. 
_______________________________________________________________________________

Whill arose in the too-soft bed grogglily, Jax’s note still on his mind. 

Jax was in this room before me.  

He sat and waited until the door opened, and the man was back. Whill watched him as he mouthed something, trying to make out what it was. He was so concentrated that he didn’t notice the syringe in his hand until it pricked his arm. Whill felt a wave of drowsiness wash over him.

What… is… happening……..
 

 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

33 minutes ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

Alrighty, first 5 chapters are in the blog form, I guess I'l continue here!

 

See y'all with chapter 6!

-Ketek

See i want to read them

But I procrastinate procrastinating procrastination so I will try my best to read them soon

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Or, you could just, pretend it's ORV and read them now.

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

3 minutes ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

Or, you could just, pretend it's ORV and read them now.

Mmmm the problem is I'm also procrastinating ORV

Ik, Ik, blasphemous, but whatevs

[Verdance he/him]

Okay… 

one thing is the chapters are pretty short. Idk what to tell you, plit is progressing very very quickly. I find pacing almost impossible also. Just, at this rate, your manuscript will have more chapters than pages

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

okay the last chapter is more an interlude than a chapter.

I'm working on it! it's not a book kind of story as much as it is an ongoing story.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Spoiler

Chapter 7

Whill awoke to the feeling of cold stone.

At first, everything was still silent.

But he noticed something strange. The silence was… less silent? There was no noise, but it was as if the quiet was thinner, distorted.

The silence near the door tightened. Someone was walking outside the room, shrouded in a tense version of quiet.

He realizes he can sense their steps before their feet fall. He knew the moment the doorknob turned without looking.

Not by sound. By the lack of it.

The man entered again, but this time Whill already knew exactly where he was standing.

The man didn’t seem to notice how tense Whill’s body was. That was a good thing, right?

Without turning, Whill said,

“Why am I here?”

He sensed the man’s mouth moving, but he couldn’t catch the words being said.

Whill did, however, sense the syringe in the man’s hand. He caught the needle with his hand as the man tried to stab his arm.

How did I- How did my arm move so fast?

His shock at his own movements gave the man the opportunity to prick his hand.

Whill dropped like a rock.

____________________________________

Whill woke up on the stone floor, but decided it would be best not to move so that he wasn’t drugged again. He Sensed the man outside the door pacing. 

How long have I been here?
 

 

chapter 7

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

Ch 6 initial thoughts:

I want to learn more about the difference between shaped and snapped

Seems the room is the same, but made cleaner for the more important shapers. I would theorize that the snapped are the guinea pigs of society, but Whill got the same injection.

Ch 7 initial Thoughts:

Whoa so he has super unhearing that’s wild (or… whild I’m so funny)

Maybe shaped aren’t as nice as we think. Or maybe he’s snapped now… he’s definitely in a less well furnished room, just like Jax was

[Verdance he/him]

Im still trying to understand the purpose of this

i understand its a reader reveal but idk

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Feedback opportunity/ ideas

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

6 hours ago, Verdance said:

Im still trying to understand the purpose of this

i understand its a reader reveal but idk

Reader reveal?

You mean you are confused someone would want to share a story they worked hard on with their friends?

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Okay.

so I thought about it

Heres my idea:

Shaped lose one sense (sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch, or speech) and Snapped lose one sense.

A shaped will gain an ability that is almost a combination of those two senses (I.e. Whill can see with silence (Jax's sight +his hearing)

so if a Shaped got taste and smell, they could identify any poison or smth.

Spoiler

@Verdance

why are you identifying with my character?

 

Edited May 11 by Through The Living Ketek

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

oooooh

what If I add a character named Whay?

Whill/Whay

[Verdance he/him]

3 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Reader reveal?

You mean you are confused someone would want to share a story they worked hard on with their friends?

No like a lore reveal in the book

2 hours ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

Okay.

so I thought about it

Heres my idea:

Shaped lose one sense (sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch, or speech) and Snapped lose one sense.

A shaped will gain an ability that is almost a combination of those two senses (I.e. Whill can see with silence (Jax's sight +his hearing)

so if a Shaped got taste and smell, they could identify any poison or smth.

  Hide contents

@Verdance

why are you identifying with my character?

 

Vessel is the stage name of the anonymous lead singer of Sleep Token. We don’t know much about him outside of the story he tells with his music, so i call Vessel a character (i know his secret identity actually but dont look for it it’s incredibly rude they wrote a whole song ‘Caramel’ about it and now i feel sorta bad)

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

2 minutes ago, Verdance said:

No like a lore reveal in the book

You are.. trying to understand the purpose of lore reveals? I fear I do not understand what you do not understand.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

8

Spoiler

Whill stayed motionless on the stone floor.

Outside the door, the man continued pacing. Whill could Sense every turn he made through the strange thinning of silence around him. At first the ability had terrified him, but now, after what felt like hours trapped in the room, patterns were beginning to emerge.

Five steps left.

Turn.

Five steps right.

Turn again.

The silence shifted differently every time the man paused near the door. Whill could almost predict movement before it happened.

Almost.

The pacing stopped.

Whill resisted the urge to tense.

The doorknob turned.

Even before the latch clicked, Whill Sensed the shape of the man entering the room. The silence folded around him strangely, like cloth wrapping around a blade.

The syringe again.

Whill kept his eyes shut.

Closer.

Closer -

Now.

Whill rolled sideways just as the needle stabbed downward into empty stone.

The man jerked in surprise. Whill grabbed his wrist with both hands before he could recover. The syringe clattered away across the floor.

The guard mouthed something angrily, but Whill couldn’t understand him.

The man swung at him.

Whill ducked instinctively.

Not because he saw the punch.

Because the silence warped around it.

His own shock nearly froze him. Somehow, he had known exactly where the fist would go.

The guard stumbled forward. Whill slammed both hands into the man’s chest, shoving him backward into the wall.

Pain exploded through Whill’s shoulder from the impact, but he ignored it.

Run.

Whill lunged for the doorway.

The hallway beyond was enormous - cold stone walls stretching in both directions beneath harsh white lights. Men in dark uniforms moved through the corridors farther away.

Panic surged through him.

Too many people.

Too many shifting silences.

The world became a chaos of Sense.

He nearly collapsed as dozens of distortions pressed against his awareness at once. Footsteps he couldn’t hear still bent the silence around him. Movements. Breathing. Motion. Every person twisted the emptiness differently.

Focus.

Whill pressed himself against the wall, breathing hard.

One silence nearby moved quickly toward him - the guard recovering.
 

I'm real proud of this one.

@Verdance @CoderDrag0n8

[Adonalsium Will Return He/him]

I'm going to follow this- it's great!

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

1 hour ago, Through The Living Ketek said:

8

  Hide contents

Whill stayed motionless on the stone floor.

Outside the door, the man continued pacing. Whill could Sense every turn he made through the strange thinning of silence around him. At first the ability had terrified him, but now, after what felt like hours trapped in the room, patterns were beginning to emerge.

Five steps left.

Turn.

Five steps right.

Turn again.

The silence shifted differently every time the man paused near the door. Whill could almost predict movement before it happened.

Almost.

The pacing stopped.

Whill resisted the urge to tense.

The doorknob turned.

Even before the latch clicked, Whill Sensed the shape of the man entering the room. The silence folded around him strangely, like cloth wrapping around a blade.

The syringe again.

Whill kept his eyes shut.

Closer.

Closer -

Now.

Whill rolled sideways just as the needle stabbed downward into empty stone.

The man jerked in surprise. Whill grabbed his wrist with both hands before he could recover. The syringe clattered away across the floor.

The guard mouthed something angrily, but Whill couldn’t understand him.

The man swung at him.

Whill ducked instinctively.

Not because he saw the punch.

Because the silence warped around it.

His own shock nearly froze him. Somehow, he had known exactly where the fist would go.

The guard stumbled forward. Whill slammed both hands into the man’s chest, shoving him backward into the wall.

Pain exploded through Whill’s shoulder from the impact, but he ignored it.

Run.

Whill lunged for the doorway.

The hallway beyond was enormous - cold stone walls stretching in both directions beneath harsh white lights. Men in dark uniforms moved through the corridors farther away.

Panic surged through him.

Too many people.

Too many shifting silences.

The world became a chaos of Sense.

He nearly collapsed as dozens of distortions pressed against his awareness at once. Footsteps he couldn’t hear still bent the silence around him. Movements. Breathing. Motion. Every person twisted the emptiness differently.

Focus.

Whill pressed himself against the wall, breathing hard.

One silence nearby moved quickly toward him - the guard recovering.
 

I'm real proud of this one.

@Verdance @CoderDrag0n8

I really like it, battle scenes can be very hard.

I like the direction the magic system is taking, and love the work you are doing to make it without excessively relying on external sources

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Spoiler

Chapter 9

The corridor pulsed with shifting silence around Whill - each set of footsteps, each breath, each distant movement bending the emptiness in ways his mind was only beginning to understand.

Behind him, the guard was getting closer.

Whill didn’t turn.

He didn’t need to.

The silence tightened like a thread pulled taut. The guard’s stride was heavy, confident again, closing the distance.

Whill moved.

Not thinking. Just reacting to the distortion in the air.

He slipped left as a hand grabbed for his shoulder and missed by inches. The guard stumbled past him, momentum carrying him forward.

Whill took the opening.

He ran.

The hallway blurred into cold stone and blinding light. His body felt too loud, yet still silent, in its own way - footfalls vibrating through his brain, heart pounding so hard it distorted the world around him.

Too many people ahead.

Too many silences overlapping.

Whill forced himself to slow, pressing into a recessed alcove in the wall. He crouched, breathing shallowly, trying to make sense of the chaos.

The guard behind him was recovering again. Faster this time.

Whill focused on the nearest distortion.

Three figures ahead. Stationary. Talking, maybe. Their silences overlapped in steady, predictable patterns.

If I move when they shift- 

A sharp crack of movement behind him cut the thought short.

The guard was rounding the corner.

Whill pushed off the wall and sprinted toward the trio ahead.

As he got closer, the silence sharpened - becoming distinct, layered patterns instead of noise. He could feel hesitation in one of the figures ahead before they even reacted physically.

Now.

Whill ducked under an outstretched arm as one of the men stepped aside. He slipped through the gap between them just as confusion rippled through their attention.

A shout - silent to him, but loud in its intent - followed.

Whill didn’t stop. He ran. And ran. Until something hit him in the head.

_____________________________________________________________

Shaped

"When do ya think he's gonna wake?" 

"Don't know. Hope it's soon."

"Whay, why can't ya just shake 'im? I'm tired of waitin'."

"Orin. If you wan't to leave, then leave. Otherwise, wait."

"Ughhh... fine..."

9

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Through The Living Ketek said:

  Hide contents

Chapter 9

The corridor pulsed with shifting silence around Whill - each set of footsteps, each breath, each distant movement bending the emptiness in ways his mind was only beginning to understand.

Behind him, the guard was getting closer.

Whill didn’t turn.

He didn’t need to.

The silence tightened like a thread pulled taut. The guard’s stride was heavy, confident again, closing the distance.

Whill moved.

Not thinking. Just reacting to the distortion in the air.

He slipped left as a hand grabbed for his shoulder and missed by inches. The guard stumbled past him, momentum carrying him forward.

Whill took the opening.

He ran.

The hallway blurred into cold stone and blinding light. His body felt too loud, yet still silent, in its own way - footfalls vibrating through his brain, heart pounding so hard it distorted the world around him.

Too many people ahead.

Too many silences overlapping.

Whill forced himself to slow, pressing into a recessed alcove in the wall. He crouched, breathing shallowly, trying to make sense of the chaos.

The guard behind him was recovering again. Faster this time.

Whill focused on the nearest distortion.

Three figures ahead. Stationary. Talking, maybe. Their silences overlapped in steady, predictable patterns.

If I move when they shift- 

A sharp crack of movement behind him cut the thought short.

The guard was rounding the corner.

Whill pushed off the wall and sprinted toward the trio ahead.

As he got closer, the silence sharpened - becoming distinct, layered patterns instead of noise. He could feel hesitation in one of the figures ahead before they even reacted physically.

Now.

Whill ducked under an outstretched arm as one of the men stepped aside. He slipped through the gap between them just as confusion rippled through their attention.

A shout - silent to him, but loud in its intent - followed.

Whill didn’t stop. He ran. And ran. Until something hit him in the head.

_____________________________________________________________

Shaped

"When do ya think he's gonna wake?" 

"Don't know. Hope it's soon."

"Whay, why can't ya just shake 'im? I'm tired of waitin'."

"Orin. If you wan't to leave, then leave. Otherwise, wait."

"Ughhh... fine..."

9

!!!

get this man a sword!

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I have weapon plans, give it a bit.

btw @#1 Taln Fan your member title gave me the idea for Whill/Whay. Thx.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

10.

Spoiler

Whill’s consciousness snapped back in pieces.

First came the ceiling- stone, dim, unfamiliar. Then the smell of dust and antiseptic. Then pain, dull and spreading through his skull.

He tried to sit up too fast and immediately regretted it. Everything hurt. He lay back down.

The room didn’t give him sound. It never did. But it felt different now. It was less like empty space and more like… occupied quiet. Like something living had learned how to breathe around him.

Footsteps nearby. Two sets.

One steady. One restless.

Whill stayed still, forcing himself to focus the way he had in the corridor. The silence here had structure too- softer, more controlled.

A figure leaned into view.

The restless one.

A boy about Whill’s age stood near the cot, arms crossed. His posture screamed impatience even without sound. He had sharp eyes that kept flicking around the room like he was bored of everything he saw.

The other figure stood farther back.

Calm. Still. Watching.

Whill pushed himself upright slowly.

The restless boy spoke.

Whill saw his lips move, fast and exaggerated, like he thought that would help.

Nothing came through.

The calm figure stepped forward slightly and spoke instead.

Whill caught fragments this time - not sound, but intent. The calmness in his expression helped more than the words.

Then, strangely, meaning formed in Whill’s mind without him fully understanding why.

A push of thought that wasn’t his.

Easy. Don’t panic.
It wasn’t sound. It was projected into his brain like an image.

Whill’s eyes snapped to the restless boy. The boy grinned, then said something to the other boy.

Ignore Orin over there. He’s a piece of work. Can you hear- no- understand me?

Whill contemplated not responding to the calm boy, but decided that these two were probably the best chance he had at learning where he was and what had happened to him.

He nodded cautiously. 

Good.

They turned to Orin and said something- unintelligible to Whill before turning back.

I’m Whay. Orin and I are also Shaped. He can detect any poison- but can’t taste. I can project into thoughts, but I can’t feel anything with my hands. 

No, I can’t hear your thoughts. I can’t project Orin’s too.

Drink. They won’t find us here.

Whay spoke to Orin again. Orin picked up a can, smelled the top, and tossed it to Whill.

It’s just water. 

Drink. And rest.
 

You need it.

 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

thoughts?