Mental health club!

[Cookie Spren]

13 hours ago, Wittles said:

ADHD mood swings are funnnn

I totally understand that. It sucks a lot, especially with my medicine. Sure it cures my focus problems, but then it leaves me either devoid of emotion or so low that I want to stop existing. It also has a side affect as an appetite suppressant which makes me exhausted and malnourished (yet another thing for my dad to be angry about with me). But that just adds onto the fact that I have body dysmorphia and I tend to count calories (It mostly started when my dad started saying I was overweight and now I'm underweight because of all this crap, might even die because of malnourishment at this point). I don't mean to downplay anybody else here, but I've been going through a massive wave of depression that's been lasting for a few months now, and a large cause of it is emotional abuse from my dad. But I feel like a jerk when I judge him for treating me the way he does because he has mental disabilities that make him not able to cope with both his own emotionality but he's also not able to understand that other people also feel things (I've had several conversations with him, trying to let him know that I've been having depression and have had thoughts of ending my life but they always end with me going to my room and just crying myself to sleep). 

Anyway, that's just a small part of why I've been down, but I don't really know what to say for everything else.

Soooo..... That's my rant. I didn't really know how to put it in coherent sentences but I guess this works.

[TwinStorm He/Him]

1 minute ago, The Sly Cookie said:

I totally understand that. It sucks a lot, especially with my medicine. Sure it cures my focus problems, but then it leaves me either devoid of emotion or so low that I want to stop existing. It also has a side affect as an appetite suppressant which makes me exhausted and malnourished (yet another thing for my dad to be angry about with me). But that just adds onto the fact that I have body dysmorphia and I tend to count calories (It mostly started when my dad started saying I was overweight and now I'm underweight because of all this crap, might even die because of malnourishment at this point). I don't mean to downplay anybody else here, but I've been going through a massive wave of depression that's been lasting for a few months now, and a large cause of it is emotional abuse from my dad. But I feel like a jerk when I judge him for treating me the way he does because he has mental disabilities that make him not able to cope with both his own emotionality but he's also not able to understand that other people also feel things (I've had several conversations with him, trying to let him know that I've been having depression and have had thoughts of ending my life but they always end with me going to my room and just crying myself to sleep). 

Anyway, that's just a small part of why I've been down, but I don't really know what to say for everything else.

Soooo..... That's my rant. I didn't really know how to put it in coherent sentences but I guess this works.

*hugs*

not much to say abt that

but

*hugs*

[Keke They/he]

42 minutes ago, The Sly Cookie said:

I totally understand that. It sucks a lot, especially with my medicine. Sure it cures my focus problems, but then it leaves me either devoid of emotion or so low that I want to stop existing. It also has a side affect as an appetite suppressant which makes me exhausted and malnourished (yet another thing for my dad to be angry about with me). But that just adds onto the fact that I have body dysmorphia and I tend to count calories (It mostly started when my dad started saying I was overweight and now I'm underweight because of all this crap, might even die because of malnourishment at this point). I don't mean to downplay anybody else here, but I've been going through a massive wave of depression that's been lasting for a few months now, and a large cause of it is emotional abuse from my dad. But I feel like a jerk when I judge him for treating me the way he does because he has mental disabilities that make him not able to cope with both his own emotionality but he's also not able to understand that other people also feel things (I've had several conversations with him, trying to let him know that I've been having depression and have had thoughts of ending my life but they always end with me going to my room and just crying myself to sleep). 

Anyway, that's just a small part of why I've been down, but I don't really know what to say for everything else.

Soooo..... That's my rant. I didn't really know how to put it in coherent sentences but I guess this works.

To start. *HUGS SO HARD YOUR EYES GO WIDE.* I can bet 1000000 dollars that you look fine. Now I don't rlly know how to help much with body dysmorphia. So I will just give encouragement and solidarity. My own mother had tendency to be emotionally abusive because of her own mental health issues. It sucks. I don't know exactly what your dealing with but I just want you to know that no matter what. No matter what. That you are perfect. The best you I've ever known you as. I know it's hard to deal with parents but one way to help is give them the love that they need to help themselves. Your not downplaying anyone. Everybody has issues and we are all here to help. Even if someone else is going through something you can share. Because it's what we are here for. Your issues are valid and real and true to you.  Cookie, Its alright. We are here for you. We love you.

Let me know the best way to help. Ok?

[Cookie Spren]

36 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

To start. *HUGS SO HARD YOUR EYES GO WIDE.* I can bet 1000000 dollars that you look fine. Now I don't rlly know how to help much with body dysmorphia. So I will just give encouragement and solidarity. My own mother had tendency to be emotionally abusive because of her own mental health issues. It sucks. I don't know exactly what your dealing with but I just want you to know that no matter what. No matter what. That you are perfect. The best you I've ever known you as. I know it's hard to deal with parents but one way to help is give them the love that they need to help themselves. Your not downplaying anyone. Everybody has issues and we are all here to help. Even if someone else is going through something you can share. Because it's what we are here for. Your issues are valid and real and true to you.  Cookie, Its alright. We are here for you. We love you.

Let me know the best way to help. Ok?

Thank you.

 

[MirkerLurker she/her]

15 hours ago, The Sly Cookie said:

Mind if I join y'all?

Not at all! Please join. Welcome!
Very important question: Are you ok with hugs? Because we give a lot of hugs. *slowly starts opening arms and inching closer*

1 hour ago, The Sly Cookie said:

I totally understand that. It sucks a lot, especially with my medicine. Sure it cures my focus problems, but then it leaves me either devoid of emotion or so low that I want to stop existing. It also has a side affect as an appetite suppressant which makes me exhausted and malnourished (yet another thing for my dad to be angry about with me). But that just adds onto the fact that I have body dysmorphia and I tend to count calories (It mostly started when my dad started saying I was overweight and now I'm underweight because of all this crap, might even die because of malnourishment at this point). I don't mean to downplay anybody else here, but I've been going through a massive wave of depression that's been lasting for a few months now, and a large cause of it is emotional abuse from my dad. But I feel like a jerk when I judge him for treating me the way he does because he has mental disabilities that make him not able to cope with both his own emotionality but he's also not able to understand that other people also feel things (I've had several conversations with him, trying to let him know that I've been having depression and have had thoughts of ending my life but they always end with me going to my room and just crying myself to sleep). 

Anyway, that's just a small part of why I've been down, but I don't really know what to say for everything else.

Soooo..... That's my rant. I didn't really know how to put it in coherent sentences but I guess this works.

A couple things I want to say. BUT I didn't ask first whether you want advice or just comfort and a listening ear SO go ahead and ignore if you don't want advice/commentary.

It's good to be able to recognize that your dad has his own issues, and that those issues are a large part of what's causing him to treat you badly. But the fact that he has reasons for it does not negate or lessen the harm that he's doing to you. It doesn't excuse it. It is ok to feel angry and hurt by the harm he's doing you. It's usually not helpful to let your own emotions take control and take it out on him - or to take it out on yourself - but it's ok, and normal, and right, to feel like he's doing wrong, when he is.
Also: Remember that anything he says that stems from his own issues isn't true. Any abuse that comes from his own struggles is filtered through the lens of his imperfect perception and how he (incorrectly) sees the world - which means you shouldn't give it a second thought. (We do anyway, cuz that's how our brains work, and because we're wired to care what others think, but remind yourself of that when you do.) The same way that we with depression have to screen and filter our thoughts for "is that true, or is that just the depression talking" - you have to screen what he says, remember that a lot of it just isn't true. If you're having trouble telling, ask someone else. "My dad says I'm this, my dad says that, and I feel like he's right but I can't tell - can you tell me what you think?" Any of us on here would be happy to help you with that. We want you to see that you are amazing and valuable and loved.
Remember: The things he says from his own disabilities aren't true. When he devalues you and disparages you, it's not true. I know this sounds cliche and corny and just saying the words probably doesn't do much, but I'm going to say them anyway - you have worth and value regardless of your weight, regardless of your ability to focus, regardless of your emotional state; you are a person deserving of being loved. We here, we like having you around. You're worth loving. 

Apologies if that's things you've heard before, or if you didn't want commentary.

All in all, I think you'll fit in here just fine, and I'm so glad you came to join us.

 

16 hours ago, Wittles said:

Here's my little rant that's been building for a bit now

  Hide contents

Everytime I start sleeping consistently and feeling good, something happens before the week is over and I'm back to square one. Staying up all night as the thoughts spiral and my mind convinces me I have nothing to live for, and falling asleep in the morning after fighting to stay awake so I can sleep the next night only to sleep all day and wake up to one or both of my parents telling me why I need to do better and why I'm disappointing. 

I'm so tired. And I don't know what to do. I can never hold onto a routine for more than a week because something always comes up and ruins everything. Insomnia is ruining my life. Really, it's just me

It feels melodramatic to say I don't want to be here anymore, but I don't. None of you have to worry, I'm not going to...you know...leave, but the feeling is still there and I know it'll go away again, but it's also going to come back. 

I feel so alone and I don't know how to talk about this to the few Irl friends who I actually trust. I don't know if anyone cares to read this, but if you do...just forget about me. It'll be a lot easier.

 please don't forget me. I lied, I want to be remembered

We remember you.

We're glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. 

"the feeling is still there and I know it'll go away again, but it's also going to come back."
Yeah. It sucks...but it doesn't always. To quote Wit, "You will be warm again." And we'll do whatever we can to help you find warmth, and we'll sit with you when you're tired.

I wish I could add more words, but what I really want to do is just sit down with you and...be there. Tired doesn't need words; it needs warmth. So, this is me, saying "Hi, I'm here, I'm listening. I care, I remember you, and I'll stay with you."

 

14 hours ago, Wittles said:

*is suffocated affectionately* 

Thanks guys

I think the worst of it is over now

ADHD mood swings are funnnn

Fun. Yes. That's definitely the word.
I laughed so hard at your layered sarcasm. Literally layered  

Ok one additional note:
Any of y'all are WELCOME to PM me if you want to talk through something. I don't usually offer because I'm not online very often, and usually not at the times other people are online, and my home life means I often can't stay long. So I can't usually stay online and talk live. But I would be SO HAPPY to have an ongoing conversation if you're ok with it being in slow-time. I will read everything you send me and respond to it when I'm next online.

Edited February 2, 2025 by MirkerLurker

[Cookie Spren]

3 minutes ago, MirkerLurker said:

Not at all! Please join. Welcome!
Very important question: Are you ok with hugs? Because we give a lot of hugs. *slowly starts opening arms and inching closer*

A couple things I want to say. BUT I didn't ask first whether you want advice or just comfort and a listening ear SO go ahead and ignore if you don't want advice/commentary.

It's good to be able to recognize that your dad has his own issues, and that those issues are a large part of what's causing him to treat you badly. But the fact that he has reasons for it does not negate or lessen the harm that he's doing to you. It doesn't excuse it. It is ok to feel angry and hurt by the harm he's doing you. It's usually not helpful to let your own emotions take control and take it out on him - or to take it out on yourself - but it's ok, and normal, and right, to feel like he's doing wrong, when he is.
Also: Remember that anything he says that stems from his own issues isn't true. Any abuse that comes from his own struggles is filtered through the lens of his imperfect perception and how he (incorrectly) sees the world - which means you shouldn't give it a second thought. (We do anyway, cuz that's how our brains work, and because we're wired to care what others think, but remind yourself of that when you do.) The same way that we with depression have to screen and filter our thoughts for "is that true, or is that just the depression talking" - you have to screen what he says, remember that a lot of it just isn't true. If you're having trouble telling, ask someone else. "My dad says I'm this, my dad says that, and I feel like he's right but I can't tell - can you tell me what you think?" Any of us on here would be happy to help you with that. We want you to see that you are amazing and valuable and loved.
Remember: The things he says from his own disabilities aren't true. When he devalues you and disparages you, it's not true. I know this sounds cliche and corny and just saying the words probably doesn't do much, but I'm going to say them anyway - you have worth and value regardless of your weight, regardless of your ability to focus, regardless of your emotional state; you are a person deserving of being loved. We here, we like having you around. You're worth loving. 

Apologies if that's things you've heard before, or if you didn't want commentary.

All in all, I think you'll fit in here just fine, and I'm so glad you came to join us.

 

We remember you.

We're glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. 

"the feeling is still there and I know it'll go away again, but it's also going to come back."
Yeah. It sucks...but it doesn't always. To quote Wit, "You will be warm again." And we'll do whatever we can to help you find warmth, and we'll sit with you when you're tired.

I wish I could add more words, but what I really want to do is just sit down with you and...be there. Tired doesn't need words; it needs warmth. So, this is me, saying "Hi, I'm here, I'm listening. I care, I remember you, and I'll stay with you."

 

Fun. Yes. That's definitely the word.
I laughed so hard at your layered sarcasm. Literally layered  

Thank you so much.

I know it probably sounds dumb, but I really needed to hear that.

[MirkerLurker she/her]

9 minutes ago, The Sly Cookie said:

Thank you so much.

I know it probably sounds dumb, but I really needed to hear that.

*hug*
I'm glad it helped!

*pops back online*

MEME

ok bye again

[Keke They/he]

12 minutes ago, MirkerLurker said:

*hug*
I'm glad it helped!

*pops back online*

MEME

ok bye again

AH! SO ADORABLE!

[Wittles he/him]

2 hours ago, The Sly Cookie said:

I totally understand that. It sucks a lot, especially with my medicine. Sure it cures my focus problems, but then it leaves me either devoid of emotion or so low that I want to stop existing. It also has a side affect as an appetite suppressant which makes me exhausted and malnourished (yet another thing for my dad to be angry about with me). But that just adds onto the fact that I have body dysmorphia and I tend to count calories (It mostly started when my dad started saying I was overweight and now I'm underweight because of all this crap, might even die because of malnourishment at this point). I don't mean to downplay anybody else here, but I've been going through a massive wave of depression that's been lasting for a few months now, and a large cause of it is emotional abuse from my dad. But I feel like a jerk when I judge him for treating me the way he does because he has mental disabilities that make him not able to cope with both his own emotionality but he's also not able to understand that other people also feel things (I've had several conversations with him, trying to let him know that I've been having depression and have had thoughts of ending my life but they always end with me going to my room and just crying myself to sleep). 

Anyway, that's just a small part of why I've been down, but I don't really know what to say for everything else.

Soooo..... That's my rant. I didn't really know how to put it in coherent sentences but I guess this works.

I...know a thing or two about having an emotionally abusive dad. I get it. I'm really sorry you have to deal with that too

*hug*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 hours ago, The Sly Cookie said:

I totally understand that. It sucks a lot, especially with my medicine. Sure it cures my focus problems, but then it leaves me either devoid of emotion or so low that I want to stop existing. It also has a side affect as an appetite suppressant which makes me exhausted and malnourished (yet another thing for my dad to be angry about with me). But that just adds onto the fact that I have body dysmorphia and I tend to count calories (It mostly started when my dad started saying I was overweight and now I'm underweight because of all this crap, might even die because of malnourishment at this point). I don't mean to downplay anybody else here, but I've been going through a massive wave of depression that's been lasting for a few months now, and a large cause of it is emotional abuse from my dad. But I feel like a jerk when I judge him for treating me the way he does because he has mental disabilities that make him not able to cope with both his own emotionality but he's also not able to understand that other people also feel things (I've had several conversations with him, trying to let him know that I've been having depression and have had thoughts of ending my life but they always end with me going to my room and just crying myself to sleep). 

Anyway, that's just a small part of why I've been down, but I don't really know what to say for everything else.

Soooo..... That's my rant. I didn't really know how to put it in coherent sentences but I guess this works.

*huuuug*

If you want to talk so someone about anything, you can PM me.

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

4 hours ago, Thee insane said:

Wow. I don't remember much because we got rid of Netflix before I could finish it and it's not on it anymore. So I'm cooked. I comt watch it anymore and it's sad. Anyways. Pidge is the best and you can't change my mind.

pidge supremacyyyy sifjsdkfusjnfskfjnlkfjnsdgksdnjfksldflfj green bean

[Keke They/he]

Only smart cool funny beautiful people can see this. If your see this your one of those. If your not then it's impossible to see this. You are All of those. You deserve the best and the best is all you should get. You should be accepted for who you are. Quirks aren't bad they give you flavor. your awesome!

Edited February 2, 2025 by Thee insane

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

4 hours ago, Thee insane said:

Only smart cool funny beautiful people can see this. If your see this your one of those. If your not then it's impossible to see this. You are All of those. You deserve the best and the best is all you should get. You should be accepted for who you are. Quirks aren't bad they give you flavor. your awesome!

Ah yes, but what if I found a way to cheat and see it anyway!? 

[Keke They/he]

12 minutes ago, KnightSkye said:

Ah yes, but what if I found a way to cheat and see it anyway!? 

Physically impossible. It was bound by the most ancient of magics that came ever ever ever *three hours later* ever ever ever be beaten 

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

8 hours ago, The Sly Cookie said:

I totally understand that. It sucks a lot, especially with my medicine. Sure it cures my focus problems, but then it leaves me either devoid of emotion or so low that I want to stop existing. It also has a side affect as an appetite suppressant which makes me exhausted and malnourished (yet another thing for my dad to be angry about with me). But that just adds onto the fact that I have body dysmorphia and I tend to count calories (It mostly started when my dad started saying I was overweight and now I'm underweight because of all this crap, might even die because of malnourishment at this point). I don't mean to downplay anybody else here, but I've been going through a massive wave of depression that's been lasting for a few months now, and a large cause of it is emotional abuse from my dad. But I feel like a jerk when I judge him for treating me the way he does because he has mental disabilities that make him not able to cope with both his own emotionality but he's also not able to understand that other people also feel things (I've had several conversations with him, trying to let him know that I've been having depression and have had thoughts of ending my life but they always end with me going to my room and just crying myself to sleep). 

Anyway, that's just a small part of why I've been down, but I don't really know what to say for everything else.

Soooo..... That's my rant. I didn't really know how to put it in coherent sentences but I guess this works.

Scud 

*hugs* 

That's absolutely awful 

You're welcome to PM me if you want 

[MirkerLurker she/her]

41 minutes ago, KnightSkye said:

Ah yes, but what if I found a way to cheat and see it anyway!? 

*smacks*

If that's what you think, then the only person you cheated is yourself, by tricking yourself into believing that you can only see it by a trick, instead of because you can legitimately see it. So there!

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

2 minutes ago, MirkerLurker said:

*smacks*

If that's what you think, then the only person you cheated is yourself, by tricking yourself into believing that you can only see it by a trick, instead of because you can legitimately see it. So there!

Ah yes. A refreshing smack in the face with logic! Lovely!

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, KnightSkye said:

Ah yes. A refreshing smack in the face with logic! Lovely!

Hello, grandson.

Seeing as it is almost 11, you should go to bed

[MirkerLurker she/her]

Just now, KnightSkye said:

Ah yes. A refreshing smack in the face with logic! Lovely!

Why yes, my two favorite things: outwitting someone with logic and hitting people into being kind. I make so much sense. Go me.

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

Just now, MirkerLurker said:

Why yes, my two favorite things: outwitting someone with logic and hitting people into being kind. I make so much sense. Go me.

Yup!

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

Hello, grandson.

Seeing as it is almost 11, you should go to bed

...maybe. I'll give it serious consideration.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, KnightSkye said:

...maybe. I'll give it serious consideration.

No. You won't

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

No. You won't

Hey! I actually did. 

But on the other hand, I'm pretty sure all I have too look forward too if I sleep is nightmares, and if I stay awake, it's protecting a little kids dragon named Eepy, and one sounds a lot better than the other.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, KnightSkye said:

Hey! I actually did. 

But on the other hand, I'm pretty sure all I have too look forward too if I sleep is nightmares, and if I stay awake, it's protecting a little kids dragon named Eepy, and one sounds a lot better than the other.

Hmmmmmmm true

Perhaps I did not mean it like that

What I meant was that you actually aren't going to go to bed. At least not for another hour, most likely

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

Hmmmmmmm true

Perhaps I did not mean it like that

What I meant was that you actually aren't going to go to bed. At least not for another hour, most likely

Very likely true!  

...although, now you've said I won't, I want to. Scudding  contrariness.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, KnightSkye said:

Very likely true!  

...although, now you've said I won't, I want to. Scudding  contrariness.

But you still won't.

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

*whispers*

Spoiler

It's working!

Spoiler

Spoiler

And I lost the game!