Parody Song - Kholene

[cosmere_play he/him, she/her. Go nuts]

I was tickled by the idea that Brandon Sanderson noted that in Alethi, Kholin is pronounced "Kho-LEEN" with a fricative like a Hebrew chet, and who doesn't love to get nerdy and needlessly nit picky about pronounciation?? So here is a tongue-in-cheek entreaty to pronounce Kholin 'correctly'. Obviously, the relevant WoBs are linked!

The lyrics are below, and the mp3 is attached at the bottom of the message, as usual it's me singing accompanied by me on the ukulele.

To the tune of "Jolene" by Dolly Parton

Kholene - rewritten by cosmere_play

Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin
No one says it right, this is a theme
Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin
Kate and Michael do not say Kholin
 
I saw K-H-O-L-I-N
And read it “colon” till the end
But the only colon’s in that Shardplate scene
I’d only read the book before
I didn’t know I needed lore
Some Words of Brandon to pronounce Kholin
When he created names anew
He borrowed ideas from Hebrew
Then changed a bit to make it Alethi
To his main characters he gives
This voiceless velar fricative
The K-H in Kholin makes us breathy

Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin
I’m begging you to say it as Kholin
Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin
Even Brandon doesn’t say Kholin

Come with me and lay the bridge
Enunciate a fake language
Correct Alethi yes that is my scheme
You've got the chance, don't hesitate
To feel your dorsum resonate
And be pedantic to a large extreme

Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin
Brandon says he cannot say Kholin
Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin
I’m begging of you to please say Kholin      
I’m begging you
Kholin

 

Kholene_cosmereplay_-_parody_of_Jolene_Dolly_Parton.mp3

Edited February 1, 2022 by cosmere_play

[Knight of Iron she/they]

Funny   ☑
Educational   ☑
Good singing   ☑
Awesome   ☑
10/10

[Robin Sedai she/her]

Haha that's awesome! Good job! Such funny lyrics, and you have a great singing voice.

[SymphonianBookworm she/her]

I’ll always pronounce Kholin correctly, now.