SmilingPanda19

It’s easy for me to love the things you hate about yourself and I don’t know why.

The way you sound and the way you’re that kind of guy.

You like all the things I do.

We have a special connection.

Known each other for a while and shared a few secrets.

And all the while I haven’t judged you.

And I hope you haven’t judged me.

But I like the way you talk.

And maybe the way you walk.

I wish I could see it.

I like the way you write.

I like the way you word things.

I like the way we laugh, over the stupidest of things.

We think so much alike.

Like every time we talk it’s late in the night. 

And you reach for a hoodie and we lay in our beds.

Just laughing and writing, letting the fantasy fill our heads. 

But we are also different in many ways.

You live so so so far away. 

You believe some different things than me. 

You look at the world the way I can not see.

But even those things I somehow love…

I just don’t know if you could feel the same.  

I don’t know if you’d still like me if you saw me. 

I’m not exactly pretty or attractive in any way.

Would you like my hair? Or smile at my eyes?

There’s so many things that I don’t like about my smile.

But I feel like if we just stayed this way.

Then maybe we could find a way…

But it feels wrong.

I can’t speak my feelings.

They’re wrong.

I don’t know everything about you.

I don’t know who you even are.

But I feel a spark I wish I didn’t feel.

One that somehow travels across the country to where you are.

Cause I still remember you saying you felt it too…

But it can’t be.

Because we are so far away.

We don’t even know each other that way.

We can’t be like this at such a young age.

I wish it wasn’t true.

The way I feel.

The way I smile any time we talk.

Maybe we are just friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be.

Cause it would be wrong to feel differently.

So I’ll sit here and wait. 

Maybe a few years. 

Maybe an eternity.

I’ll probably shed a few tears.

We’ll probably find someone else.

I might just be desperate.

Or losing myself.

That’s okay.

That’s fine I guess.

I don’t understand.

But it doesn’t matter yet.