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Posted

Well I am new to the 17th shard, but I have been looking around on it for the past bit. I am decently new to Brandon, I started reading Mistborn last summer, but now I have read most of his books, First Mistborn trilogy, the two Stormlight Archive books, All of Alcatraz except The Dark Talent, Elantris and probably more

I am currently working on a novel, I am a magician, and...yeah
Hi Humans!

Posted

Hello! Welcome to the forums, and have an upvote :) 

Have you heard of the Cosmere yet? If not, you're in for something of a wild ride. Oh, and if someone offers you cookies, run

Posted
1 hour ago, Sasooner said:

Well I am new to the 17th shard, but I have been looking around on it for the past bit. I am decently new to Brandon, I started reading Mistborn last summer, but now I have read most of his books, First Mistborn trilogy, the two Stormlight Archive books, All of Alcatraz except The Dark Talent, Elantris and probably more

I am currently working on a novel, I am a magician, and...yeah
Hi Humans!

Hiya, Sasooner!

I'm bleeder, resident vest-wearer. Have you read Warbreaker

I cannot stress this enough: do not, under any circumstances, eat the cookies.

Have some Allomantic chouta instead. 19 healthy metals packed in a fried, meat-filled bread wrap. Yum Yum!

Posted

The cookies are something of a joke in this forum. Look at the other introduction threads.

I agree, the cosmere is overwhelmingly amazing. It's like the opposite of crapaflapnasti.

Posted
On 9/30/2016 at 10:22 PM, Sasooner said:

why don't I want cookies?

Because the cookies are Ruined. Both they and the Chouta would set off a metal detector from twenty paces.

Posted
1 hour ago, Elenion said:

Because the cookies are Ruined. Both they and the Chouta would set off a metal detector from twenty paces.

Yeah, but the chouta gives you epic godlike powers that don't involve being skewered.

Posted
22 minutes ago, bleeder said:

skewered

Which can only be done with a Queen, Rook, or Bishop. There's no way an Assassin could do it (even in Vetinari's twisted chess).

Posted
25 minutes ago, Sasooner said:

I am so confused..anyone willing to explain things to me?

I'll take pity on you. My post was a tongue-in-cheek statement referring to a chess tactic known as the 'skewer' and a character from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. All of the posts about cookies and chouta are pure nonsense.

Posted
43 minutes ago, Sasooner said:

I am so confused..anyone willing to explain things to me?

 

 

The cookies are filled with Hemalurgic spikes.

Posted
Just now, Sasooner said:

So cookies = Steel Inquisitor
and
Chouta = yes

Cookies = slaves to Dark Alley guild

Chouta = slave to Assassins In Technicolor Clothing guild

Posted
2 minutes ago, Elenion said:

Cookies = slaves to Dark Alley guild

Chouta = slave to Assassins In Technicolor Clothing guild

Okay, well thank you, being a slave doesn't sound overly amazing...

Posted

No. 

The chouta is packed with vitamins, minerals, and possibly 19 allomantic metals. 

It's a welcome gift, from us to you.

And a "please for the love of the God Beyond do not eat that cookie" gift from us to you, as well.

Signup for the Assassins is optional, man. You do you. 

Posted

The Steel Inkwizishon is putting thousands of dollars into negating the effects of the cookie and the chouta.

Posted
3 minutes ago, The True Survivor said:

The Steel Inkwizishon is putting thousands of dollars into negating the effects of the cookie and the chouta.

*gasp* no one expects the steel inquisition

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