Kansas's Song Attempts

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Right so I've been meaning to do this for awhile but only just recently got around to playing with writing songs. Mostly these are just to get things out of my head and process some stuff, but I would also appreciate any comments or suggestions on wording and whatnot. I'll probably spoiler them for length. Also note: I don't often filter when I'm writing, nor do I plan to, so I'll censor some stuff into 17th-Shard-appropriate language so know that may mess up the flow if you see it

Alright well here's one that's seen some drafts already

Spoiler

Lessons Never Taught

 

I wasn't raised to hold it all in

I wasn't raised to swallow the pain

I wasn't raised to feel it stuff it all down

I wasn't raised to lock it away

I wasn't raised to feel it burn in me

Every second of every day

I wasn't raised a strong and silent Southern man

But I turned out that way anyway

 

'Cause here some folks are stuck like it's still 1860

And half of the rest are in 1950

And all of the good ones stick tight close together

And try to fight history

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When things I wasn't taught still haunt me

 

I wasn't taught to put others first

To save them at the cost of my own sanity

I wasn't taught to sacrifice peace

And wholeness and clarity

I wasn't taught to lay myself down

As a bridge for others to safety

I wasn't raised a strong and silent Southern man

But I turned out that way anyway

 

'Cause here some folks are stuck like it's still 1860

And half of the rest are in 1950

And all of the good ones stick tight close together

And try to fight history

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When things I wasn't taught still haunt me

 

Well the lessons never taught

I learned them anyway

They sank into my bones

And I hear them every day

But every time I wonder

Will I be able someday

To say I took out those lessons

And I threw them away

 

Edited December 8, 2025 by Ookla the Kansan

[Tinwatcher I don’t mind]

8 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Right so I've been meaning to do this for awhile but only just recently got around to playing with writing songs. Mostly these are just to get things out of my head and process some stuff, but I would also appreciate any comments or suggestions on wording and whatnot. I'll probably spoiler them for length. Also note: I don't often filter when I'm writing, nor do I plan to, so I'll censor some stuff into 17th-Shard-appropriate language so know that may mess up the flow if you see it

Alright well here's one that's seen some drafts already

  Hide contents

Lessons Never Taught

 

I wasn't raised to hold it all in

I wasn't raised to swallow the pain

I wasn't raised to feel it stuff it all down

I wasn't raised to lock it away

I wasn't raised to feel it burn in me

Every second of every day

I wasn't raised a strong and silent Southern man

But I turned out that way anyway

 

'Cause here some folks are stuck like it's still 1860

And half of the rest are in 1950

And all of the good ones stick tight close together

And try to fight history

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When things I wasn't taught still haunt me

 

I wasn't taught to put others first

To save them at the cost of my own sanity

I wasn't taught to sacrifice peace

And wholeness and clarity

I wasn't taught to lay myself down

As a bridge for others to safety

I wasn't raised a strong and silent Southern man

But I turned out that way anyway

 

'Cause here some folks are stuck like it's still 1860

And half of the rest are in 1950

And all of the good ones stick tight close together

And try to fight history

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When things I wasn't taught still haunt me

 

Well the lessons never taught

I learned them anyway

They sank into my bones

And I hear them every day

But every time I wonder

Will I be able someday

To say I took out those lessons

And I threw them away

 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Just to update this with the ideas I'm working on (I'll edit this later with snippets I'm playing with so I can maybe get some feedback):

A song just for me to get some stuff out of my head

One based on the Immortal Words, written for a couple friends

And one sorta based on TSM

Also if y'all have any Cosmere events/ideas that you want to throw at me, I want some ideas

Edit: snippets + a half song I just wrote really fast

Spoiler

I was raised in a place

Where being different

Meant being wrong

And I still live in that place

Where where to be different

You must be strong

 

And so many still hide

For fear of those who

Were raised wrong

Were raised around hatred

Or forced to hide

For far too long

 

And they all like to think

That your value just

Depends on traits

Like the color of your skin

Or who you love

Or the body you have

 

But that's ridiculous

As basing it on

The color of your eyes

Or who you were born to

Or whether you can fly

 

‘Cause no one who ain't got a bone to prove

Really even gives a storm who you love

Queer is just odd, but I think the part that's strange as hell

Is that some folks think it's different from the love of the rest of ‘em all

Spoiler

Snippets:

 

'Cause living is harder than dying

You'll get out of here someday [OR in time]

But while you're still here

You might as well just use your time

 

No God above will tell you

What your purpose on this Earth should be

And no man down here should tell you

What they think your purpose should be

 

And the path matters more than the ending

We're all heading for the deep dark void

And the goal is never the same, it's always changing

So don't worry about where you're going

Just focus on how you get there

'Cause the point isn't to win, it's all about growing

Uh so obviously especially with the snippets (I'm sure if anybody reads through this you can see what I'm getting at) they're all in different formats and stuff and the rhyme and rhythm is weird...I'd appreciate suggestions while I tackle these with the full force of my tired mind

Edited June 8, 2025 by Kaladin Stormcursed

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Ok I'm just writing stuff now to get it out of my head, no idea if I'll actually end up recording this one

Spoiler

I don't feel anything

The pain's all gone away

I'm left with just an emptiness

That will stay for a few days

It may not be healthy

But it sure as hell is useful

‘Cause I don't need to be well

I just need to be functional

I got too many people

Who depend on me

So I hide it away

And never let them see

And I keep on moving

Running as far as I can

And sure sometimes it's draining

But I can be there for everyone

And I wish I had someone to hold

And talk to ‘bout the ghosts

But the ones closest to me

Are the ones who hurt the most

They know the cracks in my armor

And they worm their way to my heart

And then they burrow in

And they start to tear me apart

And I just stand and bear it all

‘Cause just as much as they harm

They sit and listen like nobody else

And talk at all the right parts

So I enjoy it while it lasts

And wait around for the day

When my use to them is outlived

And they cast me away

No, nobody stays forever

Time tears it all apart

Like atoms breaking down

Or an axe that bites through the bark

And I just feel what I can

And hide the rest away

‘Cause yeah it sure ain't healthy

But it gets me through the day

And if my own mind doesn't take me out

Time sure as hell will

Whether my body fails or the world hits

My time here will be cosmically quick

And I accept that I'm broken

And maybe I'll find out how to heal

But I'll get others there first

Before death takes the wheel

It's a broken world we live in

But I got kids who count on me

So I'll be there for them as long as I can

And then maybe

Just maybe

I can be free

 

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

11 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Ok I'm just writing stuff now to get it out of my head, no idea if I'll actually end up recording this one

  Hide contents

I don't feel anything

The pain's all gone away

I'm left with just an emptiness

That will stay for a few days

It may not be healthy

But it sure as hell is useful

‘Cause I don't need to be well

I just need to be functional

I got too many people

Who depend on me

So I hide it away

And never let them see

And I keep on moving

Running as far as I can

And sure sometimes it's draining

But I can be there for everyone

And I wish I had someone to hold

And talk to ‘bout the ghosts

But the ones closest to me

Are the ones who hurt the most

They know the cracks in my armor

And they worm their way to my heart

And then they burrow in

And they start to tear me apart

And I just stand and bear it all

‘Cause just as much as they harm

They sit and listen like nobody else

And talk at all the right parts

So I enjoy it while it lasts

And wait around for the day

When my use to them is outlived

And they cast me away

No, nobody stays forever

Time tears it all apart

Like atoms breaking down

Or an axe that bites through the bark

And I just feel what I can

And hide the rest away

‘Cause yeah it sure ain't healthy

But it gets me through the day

And if my own mind doesn't take me out

Time sure as hell will

Whether my body fails or the world hits

My time here will be cosmically quick

And I accept that I'm broken

And maybe I'll find out how to heal

But I'll get others there first

Before death takes the wheel

It's a broken world we live in

But I got kids who count on me

So I'll be there for them as long as I can

And then maybe

Just maybe

I can be free

 

I like it if you ever decide to record any of these lemme know they all seem rly good kaching 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Spoiler

I love the way you walk

And I love the words you speak

I love the way you move

And the way you get that look

For every emotion you're feeling

You show it all in your eyes

I love you more than I will say

‘Cause there's no way you'll be mine

Everyone around me has found someone

To love them and hold them tight

But I am stuck here all on my own

‘Cause I won't let anyone inside

And I will remain here all alone

Cut off from those who surround me

Until I can find a way

To take off the armor around me

If I take off my armor

If I let the outside in

Will I crumble and fall

The way I think I will

Or will I find I'm whole once more

Will I be warm again

And open all the locked doors

But that's just a fantasy

I'm dug too deep in my hole

I don't know if I’'ll ever get out

And it keeps hurting like hell

‘Cause everyone around me has someone

To love them and hold them tight

But I am stuck here all on my own

‘Cause I won't let anyone inside

And I will remain here all alone

Cut off from those who surround me

Until I can find a way

To take off the armor around me

So long as the armor stays there

I'll keep on holding my say

Hiding in the background

And watching you walk away

 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

First draft, doesn't quite say exactly what I want it to so needs some tweaking later but it's almost there

Edit: some word choice remedied, think it's pretty good

Spoiler

All my friends are kissing boys

And talkin about all their problems

All my friends are loving people

Just as stormed up as they are

Well all my friends are finding ways

To get away from their depression

But I just stand up on the cliff

And let myself fall

The blackness down below me

It screams and calls my name

Hands reach up like Death himself

Pulling me to my grave

Oh, and I was never one

To shy away from the fray

‘Cause when I'm fighting

It all goes away

So down into the dark

I just let myself fall

And I start punching

And kicking my way to hell

All my friends are kissing boys

And talkin about all their problems

All my friends are loving people

Just as stormed up as they are

Well all my friends are finding ways

To get away from their depression

But I just stand up on the cliff

And let myself fall

I do not know how to fight

Things that I cannot know

Like the pain of others

Or the suffering of their souls

So I will stand in between them

And the bullets and the words

And know that I can take it

‘Cause those ain't nothin like the holes

The holes I stab in myself

With every thought and every action

Hurt far worse than anything

The rest of the world can throw

So it can try hard as it likes

To tear down those I love

I'll just step in front of them

And shield them with my own soul

All my friends are kissing boys

And talkin about all their problems

All my friends are loving people

Just as stormed up as they are

Well all my friends are finding ways

To get away from their depression

But I just stand up on the cliff

And let myself fall

 

Edited June 17, 2025 by Kaladin Stormcursed

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Wrote this for a friend of mine, may be the first one I end up recording. We'll see if I have time to record simple versions of some this week.

Spoiler

Apology

I remember the first time I saw you

In what must have been about ten years

I was walking into my second home

And you came out holding your gear

And later when I talked about it

You said you knew then who I was

But although I knew your name

It took awhile for me to realize

 

I remember nights talking ‘til midnight

I remember good times and laughter

But I can't remember the last time we talked

And the laughter it keeps getting harder

And I know that's all on me

And all my goddamn broken rust

But I can't keep the mask up for you

And I don't know what to do without it

 

And every time the pain gets worse

I run and hide away from the world

And I guess when I kept doing that

I hid away from you as well

And that wasn't meant to be

It's nothing to do with you

I just don't know who I even am

So I can't be myself around you

 

I remember nights talking ‘til midnight

I remember good times and laughter

But I can't remember the last time we talked

And the laughter it keeps getting harder

And I know that's all on me

And all my goddamn broken rust

But I can't keep the mask up for you

And I don't know what to do without it

 

And I guess I'll just say that I miss you

And I'm sorry I just slipped away

But I don't even know if you give a damn

And I don't trust what you say

‘Cause my trust was shattered completely

When I found how easy lies are

So now I don't trust anyone

And I'm afraid I've included you there

 

I remember nights talking ‘til midnight

I remember good times and laughter

But I can't remember the last time we talked

And the laughter it keeps getting harder

And I know that's all on me

And all my goddamn broken rust

But I can't keep the mask up for you

And I don't know what to do without it

 

So this song is my apology

If you care that I vanished away

But it's not an invitation back

‘Cause I'm broken and shattered and cracked

I know I'll hurt those

Who I let get too close

So I'll stay hidden away

And let this song be my say

 

Edited July 1, 2025 by Kaladin Stormcursed
Changed something but changed it wrong..

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

3 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Wrote this for a friend of mine, may be the first one I end up recording. We'll see if I have time to record simple versions of some this week.

  Hide contents

Apology

I remember the first time I saw you

In what must have been about a year

I was walking into my second home

And you came out holding your gear

And later when I talked about it

You said you knew then who I was

But although I knew your name

It took awhile for me to realize

 

I remember nights talking ‘til midnight

I remember good times and laughter

But I can't remember the last time we talked

And the laughter it keeps getting harder

And I know that's all on me

And all my goddamn broken rust

But I can't keep the mask up for you

And I don't know what to do without it

 

And every time the pain gets worse

I run and hide away from the world

And I guess when I kept doing that

I hid away from you as well

And that wasn't meant to be

It's nothing to do with you

I just don't know who I even am

So I can't be myself around you

 

I remember nights talking ‘til midnight

I remember good times and laughter

But I can't remember the last time we talked

And the laughter it keeps getting harder

And I know that's all on me

And all my goddamn broken rust

But I can't keep the mask up for you

And I don't know what to do without it

 

And I guess I'll just say that I miss you

And I'm sorry I just slipped away

But I don't even know if you give a damn

And I don't trust what you say

‘Cause my trust was shattered completely

When I found how easy lies are

So now I don't trust anyone

And I'm afraid I've included you there

 

I remember nights talking ‘til midnight

I remember good times and laughter

But I can't remember the last time we talked

And the laughter it keeps getting harder

And I know that's all on me

And all my goddamn broken rust

But I can't keep the mask up for you

And I don't know what to do without it

 

So this song is my apology

If you care that I vanished away

But it's not an invitation back

‘Cause I'm broken and shattered and cracked

I know I'll hurt those

Who I let get too close

So I'll stay hidden away

And let this song be my say

 

Wow

That’s honestly amazing, … Kansas?

 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

1 minute ago, Hoid Slayer said:

Wow

That’s honestly amazing, … Kansas?

 

Thanks!

1 minute ago, Hoid Slayer said:

… Kansas?

?

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

Just now, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Thanks!

?

Your nickname

I’m not quite sure what to call you… 

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

2 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

Wow

That’s honestly amazing, … Kansas?

 

Yes! It is! Now yk what would also be amazing? If he ever decided to record the instrumentals and send it to me so I can help him. That’d be pretty cool right Kansas

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Just now, Hoid Slayer said:

Your nickname

I’m not quite sure what to call you… 

Oh yeah...I go by Kansas or Kal mostly, but whatever works.

1 minute ago, Honors ghost said:

Yes! It is! Now yk what would also be amazing? If he ever decided to record the instrumentals and send it to me so I can help him. That’d be pretty cool right Kansas

Chill. I may have time tomorrow, we'll see

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

Just now, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Oh yeah...I go by Kansas or Kal mostly, but whatever works.

2 minutes ago, Honors ghost said:

Okay!

Thats what I thought, but I wanted to be sure 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Just now, Hoid Slayer said:

Okay!

Thats what I thought, but I wanted to be sure 

Mostly it's just whatever people start calling me—I owe Kansas to Glass's train of thought

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

6 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

GUYS

I finally got around to recording a video!! Sorry it's kinda rough, my fingers were starting to hurt and I wanted to get it done while I had time; I'll clean it up sometime. But anyway...yeah!

 

 

I’m proud of you man

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Spoiler

Early Days

 

Seventeen years I've run through life

And through that time she walked by my side

So I guess it fits that the first one I leave

Is the one who brought and guided me through

I remember being eight years old

I would do everything with her

Shopping on Saturday morning

And in the evening we'd color

 

I remember being ten years old

She put up with my new stuff

Drove me to my hobby

And let me talk her ear off

 

I remember being twelve years old

Finding friends and learning not to hide

But even then I still stayed close

To the one who'd stayed by my side

Seventeen years I've run through life

And through that time she walked by my side

So I guess it fits that the first one I leave

Is the one who brought and guided me through

Then I remember being fourteen

And that's where we drifted apart

She forgot that I wasn't twelve

And I started hiding my heart

Seventeen years I've run through life

And through that time she walked by my side

So I guess it fits that the first one I leave

Is the one who brought and guided me through

And now I'm almost an adult

And nothing is going to change

So I just wait for the time to be up

And miss all those early days

 

Edited July 18, 2025 by Kansas Stormcursed

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

42 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

  Hide contents

Early Days

 

Seventeen years I've run through life

And through that time she walked by my side

So I guess it fits that the first one I leave

Is the one who brought and guided me through

I remember being eight years old

I would do everything with her

Shopping on Saturday morning

And in the evening we'd color

Seventeen years I've run through life

And through that time she walked by my side

So I guess it fits that the first one I leave

Is the one who brought and guided me through

I remember being ten years old

She put up with my new stuff

Drove me to my hobby

And let me talk her ear off

Seventeen years I've run through life

And through that time she walked by my side

So I guess it fits that the first one I leave

Is the one who brought and guided me through

I remember being twelve years old

Finding friends and learning not to hide

But even then I still stayed close

To the one who'd stayed by my side

Seventeen years I've run through life

And through that time she walked by my side

So I guess it fits that the first one I leave

Is the one who brought and guided me through

Then I remember being fourteen

And that's where we drifted apart

She forgot that I wasn't twelve

And I started hiding my heart

Seventeen years I've run through life

And through that time she walked by my side

So I guess it fits that the first one I leave

Is the one who brought and guided me through

And now I'm almost an adult

And nothing is going to change

So I just wait for the time to be up

And miss all those early days

 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Oops forgot to tag this with spoilers. Spoilers for all 5 Stormlight

I'll See What I Can Do

Spoiler

I made a promise to protect another

I saw him die before my eyes

I tried to save others like him

They all met their fates as the death rattles cried

Broken down and beaten, sold to slavery

Put on the bridges, sent to die

I found new people to protect

And kept them by my side

I failed the one I once swore to protect

I swear I will not fail these too

I will protect those who cannot protect themselves

Honor may be dead, but I will see what I can do

Now someone near me, whose name we will not speak

Has tempted betrayal of the oath I swore

He wants revenge on the king who wronged him

And I must choose between friend and honor

I will protect even those I hate, so long as it is right

And he is turned against me, friend turned to foe

But I hold to my oaths, to protect those around me

Honor may be dead, but I will see what I can do

Our home is overrun, the enemy breaks us down

One hunts through the tower for any sign of me

A friend learns to save himself, the one he hates

Then he is struck down by the foe who once stood by me

 

The brother lost to a petty grudge

The squad lost to greed

The friends lost to callousness

And the ones lost just to bleed

These Words they tear me apart

But I know them to be true

I accept that there will be those I cannot protect

Honor may be dead, but I will see what I can do

The battles come to a head, the world begins to end

Yet this is not my fight, they must hold the line

My path lies to the west, in a land strange to me

I must find a way to heal the minds broken by time

At last a peace, as I face these shattered ones

As they fight the Skybreaker, they reveal a vital truth

I will protect myself, so that I may continue to protect others

Honor may be dead, but I will see what I can do

 

Honor may be dead, but I will see what I can do

 

Edited July 25, 2025 by Kansas Stormcursed

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

 

Spoiler

Seasons

Snow falls down from the sky

Cold seeps in, freezing

Sleet spikes into the ground

The sky is weeping

Tears stab in like knives, but

The ground is stone, it doesn't bleed

Time slows to a crawl, it

Drifts with the wind, through the trees

 

The snow begins to thaw out

Green breaks through the numbing snow

Ice melts and flows free

Trees sprout leaves, and blossoms grow

Grass spreads its net of roots

Tearing down walls made by man

Moss wraps like a blanket

And I roam free, because I can

 

The sun shines down, bright

Warmth spreads ‘round, it glows through

Nature forgets the cold snow

It takes for granted, thriving life

 

The world begins to shift

Plants turn brown, leaves turn gold

The beauty remains, still

But shadows grow, they consume

 

Snow falls down from the sky

Cold seeps in, freezing

Sleet spikes into the ground

The sky is weeping

Spring, summer, and fall,

It all comes back to winter

Spring, summer, and fall,

It all comes back to winter

 

Snow falls down from the sky

Cold seeps in, freezing

Sleet spikes into the ground

The sky is weeping

 

 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

 

Spoiler

American flags in every window

On every porch and every grave

Bible verses on all the signs

And the friendliness in every wave

And everywhere that strange breed

The man raised in rural South

He's tall and patriotic

Religious and oh so rough

You'll never see him cry

He hides it in his gaze

I wasn't raised the same as him

But I turned out that way anyway

Here God still tells them every action to take

And men run their families, women by their sides

And those who don't fit stay out in the cities

And try to hold on to their minds

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When I'm just like those Southern men around me

 

I remember a Southern funeral

For an old Southern woman

And as the preacher talked

The women sobbed like normal humans

But the men just stared

With their eyes as dry as their ashtrays

I wasn't raised the same as them

But I turned out that way anyway

Here God still tells them every action to take

And men run their families, women by their sides

And those who don't fit stay out in the cities

And try to hold on to their minds

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When I'm just like those Southern men around me

 

I'm liberal and I'm gay

And I don't believe in a god

Although I was born here

I find it all quite odd

The South hates the things

That make me who I am

So tell me if you can

How I ended up broken like them

 

Edited August 16, 2025 by Kansas Stormcursed

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

1 hour ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

Ok if anybody's paying attention to this stuff (if not fine I'm mostly talking to myself anyway) I reworked my first song, and I would appreciate comments and help with a rhyming word for the part that's underlined

  Reveal hidden contents

American flags in every window

On every porch and every grave

Bible verses on all the signs

And the friendliness in every wave

And everywhere that strange breed

The man raised in rural South

He's tall and patriotic

Religious and oh so rough

You'll never see him cry

He hides it in his gaze

I wasn't raised the same as him

But I turned out that way anyway

Here some folks are stuck like it's still 1860

And half of the rest are in 1950

And all of the good ones stick tight close together

And try to fight history

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When things I wasn't taught still haunt me

 

I remember a Southern funeral

For an old Southern woman

And as the preacher talked

The women sobbed like normal humans

But the men just stared

With their eyes as dry as _____

I wasn't raised the same as them

But I turned out that way anyway

Here some folks are stuck like it's still 1860

And half of the rest are in 1950

And all of the good ones stick tight close together

And try to fight history

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When things I wasn't taught still haunt me

 

I'm liberal and I'm gay

And I don't believe in a god

Although I was born here

I find it all quite odd

The South hates the things

That make me who I am

So tell me if you can

How I ended up broken like them

 

whats happening

you are cool and you posted here i dont have the patience to read this wntire thread.

Edited August 16, 2025 by CoderDrag0n8

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

9 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

whats happening

you are cool and you posted here i dont have the patience to read this wntire thread.

Lol no I was just asking for comments on that particular song, the majority of this thread is me writing to figure out how to songwrite

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

2 hours ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

Lol no I was just asking for comments on that particular song, the majority of this thread is me writing to figure out how to songwrite

mm okay

13 hours ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

Ok if anybody's paying attention to this stuff (if not fine I'm mostly talking to myself anyway) I reworked my first song, and I would appreciate comments and help with a rhyming word for the part that's underlined

  Reveal hidden contents

American flags in every window

On every porch and every grave

Bible verses on all the signs

And the friendliness in every wave

And everywhere that strange breed

The man raised in rural South

He's tall and patriotic

Religious and oh so rough

You'll never see him cry

He hides it in his gaze

I wasn't raised the same as him

But I turned out that way anyway

Here some folks are stuck like it's still 1860

And half of the rest are in 1950

And all of the good ones stick tight close together

And try to fight history

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When things I wasn't taught still haunt me

 

I remember a Southern funeral

For an old Southern woman

And as the preacher talked

The women sobbed like normal humans

But the men just stared

With their eyes as dry as _____

I wasn't raised the same as them

But I turned out that way anyway

Here some folks are stuck like it's still 1860

And half of the rest are in 1950

And all of the good ones stick tight close together

And try to fight history

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When things I wasn't taught still haunt me

 

I'm liberal and I'm gay

And I don't believe in a god

Although I was born here

I find it all quite odd

The South hates the things

That make me who I am

So tell me if you can

How I ended up broken like them

 

I just read it, and the ending of ever verse was great, and the last verse made me feel things.

Too many things.

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

14 hours ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

Ok if anybody's paying attention to this stuff (if not fine I'm mostly talking to myself anyway) I reworked my first song, and I would appreciate comments and help with a rhyming word for the part that's underlined

  Hide contents

American flags in every window

On every porch and every grave

Bible verses on all the signs

And the friendliness in every wave

And everywhere that strange breed

The man raised in rural South

He's tall and patriotic

Religious and oh so rough

You'll never see him cry

He hides it in his gaze

I wasn't raised the same as him

But I turned out that way anyway

Here some folks are stuck like it's still 1860

And half of the rest are in 1950

And all of the good ones stick tight close together

And try to fight history

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When things I wasn't taught still haunt me

 

I remember a Southern funeral

For an old Southern woman

And as the preacher talked

The women sobbed like normal humans

But the men just stared

With their eyes as dry as _____

I wasn't raised the same as them

But I turned out that way anyway

Here some folks are stuck like it's still 1860

And half of the rest are in 1950

And all of the good ones stick tight close together

And try to fight history

So how do I fit in with all of the good ones

With all of their damn therapy

And how do I say that I am not ok

When things I wasn't taught still haunt me

 

I'm liberal and I'm gay

And I don't believe in a god

Although I was born here

I find it all quite odd

The South hates the things

That make me who I am

So tell me if you can

How I ended up broken like them

 

That’s rly good I like the addition in the middle