ShadowLord_Lith
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He sobbed for another minute or so before calming down enough to talk. "I-I... I had a nightmare... and you left me. You left to date another guy..." He clung to him, trembling as if terrified that this was the dream, and that had been the reality. He was still holding his spren- He'd actually shown up, not just in his dream.
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Jason woke up at the sound of Ax's voice, sucking in a breath and blinking, looking sound wildly. "What... Ax...? You... you didn't leave me..." He started crying all over again, ignoring Sherlock for now so he could hug Ax more tightly. He sobbed against him, clinging to him for dear life. He'd been so terrified... but it was just a nightmare... it had only been a nightmare... Ax was still here.
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Jason kept walking, closing his eyes for a moment to blink some tears from his eyes before forcing himself to be okay. That did something and he ran into someone, someone who caught him. Someone who's arms were familiar... He opened his eyes and looked into Ax's smiling ones. He didn't even wait for words, he just hugged him and started sobbing, clinging to him like he was his last chance to stay alive. He refused to let go.
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Jason held onto his childhood friend, the patterns of lines oddly soothing. He stood, breathing and forcing a smile onto his face. That's what he'd learned his whole life growing up. "Lie to the world so it doesn't see your pain and fear- then it will fear you. Sometime's the greatest truth you can tell is a lie you force into being true." He felt his spren hum, and shivered. He'd be fine... so what if Ax didn't want him? It was only his first boyfriend. Even if he'd seemed so perfect it made the world feel broken to know he was gone, he'd just keep going and find another one... maybe someone else who would rely on him just as much as he relied on them. Maybe... either way, no matter how terrifying this dream was, no matter how badly it hurt him- no matter how much he wanted to just curl up and hide forever, he pretended to be calm and just keep walking through life. He'd already been through this many times- he'd given up many times. At this point, he just didn't let himself stop. He couldn't stop. He couldn't give up. No matter how much he wanted too, he knew something would happen to get him moving again. It always did... He might as well just not stop in the first place. He kept crying as he walked, beginning to cry in real life as well.
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Jason rocked himself back and forth, crying and trembling, muttering wits to himself that he'd forgotten years and years ago. He hasn't said then since he was seven. "Life before death, strength before weakness, Journey before destination..." He repeated those to himself, feeling overwhelmed and terrified. He had lost everyone... everyone had abandoned him. He didn't know if he could bear to try and start again, but... he knew he would. He always did... and that hurt so badly... He cried, hugging the shadowy pattern that he'd taken from the floor, holding it close. His childhood friend... he hasn't seen his spren in years, not since he was nine, when he'd made the spren leave him alone... he missed him terribly.
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Jason paused, looking around. He couldn't remember how he'd gotten here, but he was at school... he hadn't been there since the last trimester had ended... he'd graduated early. He looked around, biting his lip unhappily. No one was looking at him, no one saw him. No one was there. He was alone, even though he was surrounded by people... He smiled, hurrying forward. That was normal enough... he just had to find Ax and he'd be fine... Ax wouldn't leave him. He hummed as he walked, his heart feeling oddly cold. He turned every corner, looked in every room, and even searched the grounds. Ax wasn't there... He shrugged, jogging towards the house. They'd be... He froze and saw a restaurant where the house was supposed to be. There was no trace of their old place... he blinked, and it was an empty lot, then looked around and saw people appearing and disappearing with every blink, ghost's showing up here and there. His schizophrenia... He shook his head, and he was back in school, facing a wall. People were laughing at him, and... he couldn't see them. All he could see was a single unchanging, ever-shifting pattern on the ground... He stared, then leaned against the wall, feeling his pulse begin to rise. He couldn't just ignore this... He was alone. He pulled a paper out of his pocket, wondering where it had come from, and then reading it. Ax, telling him... he'd moved to be with a different boyfriend. He trembled, feeling panic and pain in his chest, like he was drowning. He couldn't breathe...
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Jason hugged him and went happily, relieved to be going to sleep. He wouldn't have to deal with his past there... he'd be fine. He almost never had bad dreams, and he'd be sleeping with Ax. How could anything possibly go wrong?
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Jason trembled in his arms, proceeding everything and trying to pull himself together. "Th-thank you, Ax... let's go to bed... Okay?"
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Mira heard him and bowed to him, carefully using logic to figure out which fused he meant before quickly heading to their location. It gave her some relief to be used for once. To finally have a job more than simply organizing objects and equipment or processing paperwork. She was excited for this assignment- and she hurried to obey.
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He flinched. "I know... I don't have... any... of importance..." He looked away, biting his lip. He was trembling now. This single night alone was making him accidentally confront memories he'd been shunning for literally more than a decade.
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He huffed. "My earliest memory is of being shocked and injected with weird liquids because of those things, and then meeting one that became my best friend. I've never been able to stop seeing them or I would've a very long time ago." He mumbled and grumbled to himself. "My dad had it growing up, then he forgot about it one day after having a really bad nightmare. He hasn't seen any since."
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He huffed. "And no spren of my own. The rest of you have one that follows you around. Except that Jamie stranger... I can't do boy-witch magic like you can."
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He looked down, grimacing. "So I really am defective... I see them all, all the time. I always have... Every single day of my life." He sighed, intentionally face-planting straight into Ax's chest.
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He bit his lip. He'd specified... "And all of the rest? The ones all through town and around the other knight people?"
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Jason paused, suddenly worried about something. "How long have you been able to see the spren?" @Sherlock Holmes
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Shar smiled, happily taking the salad and beginning to eat. He avoided the steak and potatoes for now. Once never knew if one could stomach the flavors used on that kind of food, but salad... It was hard make Salad taste like something other than salad. He wanted to avoid insulting his employer, so he stuck to safe food. "Thank you... I suppose you are right." @Blessing of Potency
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He liked the hug... it helped him calm down and follow him more easily. "Thank you... how long have you been able to do this?"
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He paused, staring. He remembered a swirling pattern of infinite spirals that... he missed. "I'm sure I will... right now, I need to go upstairs and not talk to Ax about everything. Totally not so I can avoid having a mental and emotional breakdown in front of any of you... nope. I... I'm tired. Yeah! Goodnight Magic wizard people- oh, Rob, hammers are cool. Show me how to use one sometime, please?" He grinned, then hurried over to Ax and gripped his arm. He then started trying to go upstairs with him. To most his grip would look normal- Ax would feel how much tighter he was holding him than normal. He hoped they could move faster soon...
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Shae smiled, sitting in the chair to the left and letting Dan claim the right one. He smiled. "So, what exactly were you thinking?"
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He smiled, nodding. "All the best things do. Why?" @Sorana
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He nodded, smiling. "Alright- to be honest, I was expecting a restaurant. I've been a bit confused for a while. Thanks for explaining things." He smiled, standing and taking Dan's hand to pull him towards Conder. "Alright, lead the way sir."
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He shook his head. "No... I've never heard of a knight radiant until today..." He thought he'd heard someone call them that... maybe once... a long, long time ago, possibly. Possibly... he shut down that line of thinking- those thoughts... he never wanted to think about that part of his history again. Even if he knew certain words would be found there. Words he hadn't remembered to forget in a very long time...
