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Shardcast: Cosmere Crushes


Chaos
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This week on Shardcast, you learn perhaps way, way too much about us. We're talking about our biggest crushes in the cosmere; our baes, our beefcakes, regardless of how irrational they may be. I almost spat out water. We also discuss the pronunciation of "duchy" and try to kick each other from the call. Who is your biggest cosmere crush? Comment below!

Our cast is Eric (Chaos, also Ba-Ado-Mishram's lover), Ian (WeiryWriter), Evgeni (Argent), and Alyx (FeatherWriter, who likes manipulative relationships apparently). Send your Who's That Cosmere Character to [email protected]!

 

Edited by Chaos

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Jasnah forever! She's smart, mature and no-nonsense and she is described as very alluring. She is also very funny in a cutting, deadpan way. She loves reading and history. She's great!

I was nodding along with Ian when he talked about Hoid's whimsy and darkness. He is also a character who seems to have a lot of regret that we only get glimpses of which is really cool. I am a sucker for characters who did genuinely terrible things and sought to be better (hello Dalinar!). 

Edited by Child of Hodor

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As far as favorites that aren't a crush, Vasher is it for me. He is the grumpy old man avatar for all us grumpy old men in the Cosmere.

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Ati is my all time cosmere crush! By a lot.
As evidenced by my name Uli Da is an obsession of mine, and I've been a Renarin fan from book 1, he reminded me of the quiet nerds that know a lot more than they let on and I was right.
 

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Ahh! Top Cosmere crushes....Well Ahem, it's obviously Kaladin and Renarin! We've married, it has been documented in The Longest Thread Misadventures on the Shard. Also, I have written, but never put in the Internet my fanfic about me, Kaladin, and Renarin. It's titled, "The Erotic Adventures of 3 naughty Knights Radiants." Clearly I am also a Knight Radiant. We travel the Cosmere helping people while getting into sticky, erotic situations. Don't judge me....

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The question came up, is there anyone who doesn't like Jasnah?  I'd have to answer this one with a yes.

When I think of her character traits, the first one that comes to mind isn't her intelligence or her scholarship, it isn't her Radiant powers, her beauty, or her humor.  It's her cruelty.

Everyone hurts other people from time to time.  It's part of being human. But Jasnah is portrayed as someone who derives far more satisfaction and enjoyment from it than remorse.  And that's not someone I can respect or enjoy.

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Ashspren

Posted (edited)

My friends and I have an acronym which we live by: FBAB, or Fictional Boys Are Better. So this might take a while...

Adolin Kholin all the way! He’s adorable, and to be completely honest, he’s really, really handsome (according to the fan art, at least).

Most importantly, he tries so hard to make sure that everyone he loves is happy. What more could you ask for? 

Of course, I also love Raoden and Elend. They’re both huge book lovers, and inherently good people. Plus, they’re both huge nerds (for Aon Dor and political relations, respectively) and I just love that about them. 

I love all of them equally, so don’t ask me to choose between them. :P 

 

Edited by Ashspren

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I love Adolin Kholin! But he belongs with Shallan, for some reason, I feel like I can't touch him! Same with Elend and Vin. They belong with each other forever! I can't even.

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For me it is current Dalinar. I really do just love him. I love how he really just sticks to what he believes is right, even when it is difficult. And I agree with Adolin as well. Just  genuinely good person. (Thank you Evi for both of them.) And I think I may have to throw in Sazed because I love learning and he could teach me everything. 

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Dalinar is my husband and I burn for him.

Have a crush on TLR.

Like to read about Nale and Vasher/Nightblood.

Ship Adolin and Kaladin.

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I love you all so much for doing this Shardcast episode! I haven't been in the "fangirl" mode in years and I laughed out loud more than a few times while watching this.

My crushes would probably be Kelsier, Wax, Kaladin, Adolin, and Vasher.
And Denth, highfive @FeatherWriter! Don't worry, I'm as corrupt as you are.

I do love Steris as a character a lot and while I was reading the Era 2 books I was writing down notes and I remember writing "I'm starting to like Steris more and more" when I was reading Shadows of Self. By the end of Bands of Mourning I had completely fallen in love with her character and hope she'll have her dream wedding with Wax in the next book. I hope Wayne gets over his dislike of Steris in the next book too.

From 41:20 to 42:20 I'm fairly sure @Argent is daydreaming about Jasnah.

I also thought I had heard the best part of the cast already until this gem: "Sazed and Tindwyl can both be beefcakes if they wanted to." That cracked me up and I can now go to sleep in peace.

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1 hour ago, Messydesk said:

From 41:20 to 42:20 I'm fairly sure @Argent is daydreaming about Jasnah.

That's me all the time, that minute up there may have just been... more obvious to others.

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Singer

Posted (edited)

With all the Ba-Ado-Mishram/Sja-Anat love I coin the term Manic-Eldritch-Dream-Girl. Terrifying, unknowable, crazy, murderous...perfect.

Edited by Singer

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Queen Jasnah vs Unmade Highprincess Ba-Ado-Mishram will be the Stormlight Archive's Cleganebowl.

GET HYPE

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Definitely Shallan. 

Artist. Smarter than me. Book lover. Red hair. Mentally unstable. Most likely to hold the powers of Cultivation by the end of the series. Checking check check checking check and check.

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Adolin! I agree with what’s been said about him before, and he’s kind to everyone. I love his interactions with bridge four! I was definitely split between Adolin and Kaladin until the end of OB when there was that moment she Veil kinda takes over and nearly spurns Adolin for Kaladin, I just found myself vocally saying “no, no, no, No, No, NO!” And that was when I realized my true love for Adolin. I’m convinced he is good for Shallan, less convinced she’s good for him and that makes me worried.

Jasnah is definitely my woman crush. She’s amazing, strong, and inspiring.

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The #1 Reason I Don’t Ship Shadolin: I want Adolin all to myself.

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I like incomprehensible powerful and completely out of your league beings so Endowment for me.

I don't think anybody mentioned Marasi. She is actually the most dateable girl in cosmere. She has a strong will, intelligent, isn't too disconnected with the world and definitely is fairly normal. If she wasn't a fictional character she'd be really dateable girl.

 

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Yeah Marasi is an actually attainable Cosmere girl. She's not super overpowered, she seems like she'd be an awesome friend and Brandon better set her up with someone nice in the future as she deserves it after that awkwardness with Wax. I blushed everytime they interacted in the beginning.

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I have a slight beef to pick with Evgeni and several other Brandon fans that may be on another podcast. Forgive me for rambling a bit.

I am both a Brandon Sanderson fan and a GRR Martin fan. For the record I can’t stand Joe Abercrombie.

George RR Martin is not the same as Abercrombie, GRRM is not grimdark.  The world of Ice and Fire is not grimdark, it is Ironic Romantic Tragedy. GRRM is writing a meditation that sometimes is commenting on, and sometimes deconstructing the Tolkienian Fantasies of the 60s-90s. He is not dark and bleak for bleakness sake. The story is full of longing for beauty, tragic backstories, tragic missed opportunities. No one dies just to be cruel, no one is killed for the author to prove a point. GRRM isn’t a Nihilist like some accuse him of.

SPOILERS for A Song of Ice and Fire.

Spoiler

 

At the end of the day it’s best to look at ASoIaF as a three act heroes journey, that George has done some sleight of hand to hide who the heroes were and who the wise mentors that had to die first were, the guardians that had to be stripped away, the side-kicks, the villians, etc. Books 1-2.75 form act 1, ending in the red wedding and Tyrion’s trial, the opening, the buildup. Books 2.75-5 form act two where we see all the consequences of the violence and destruction of act 1. And at the end of book 5 there are five battles on the verge of happening to kick off the final act where the forces of darkness descend upon the world of the living opposed by a plucky band of unlikely heroes.

Take Jon Snow, the hero. He is a hidden, prophesized prince of two ancient magical lineages who is an orphan raised by his uncle in secret to protect him from a vengeful king. He will rise from the dead to defend the world from the armies of darkness with a magic flaming sword. Can you get any more fantasy than that? His guides have all been stripped from him, Ned, Jeor Mormont, Maester Aemon, Qhorin Half-hand, etc.

There’s an evil, mad queen, a dragon princess, a manipulative banker, a crafty eunuch, a fake prince in disguise, a warrior maid with a heart of gold, a girl assassin struggling to come back to the light, a stoic king on his last stand, Sansa is literally a princess in a high tower held captive by her wicked uncle for Pete’s sake.

 

 

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For some reason, if i had to pick any girl in the cosmere, it’d probably be Siri. Don’t ask why, I just find her and maybe Marasi probably the only female characters of Brandon that I’m attracted to. 

For guys, I LOVE Kelsier. I want Secret History 2 more than anything. Dalinar, Elend, Spook, and Kal are the other top dudes for me. 

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Kaladin.
I have a loooong history of fictional crushes (many of whom didn't survive their stories ;___;) but never has there been someone like him.

Also, I can barely remember anything from Elantris, but Galladon was a 10.
Woot, and Lightsong. I reeeaaally should reread Warbreaker once.

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Judging from a few of these comments, I really wonder where along the road we lost the adult in adult fantasy.

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Blushweaver mostly because I know she'd be absolutely incredible in bed.

I would do such naughty things to and with her.

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