Certified Gay Disasters

[momadrac they/them]

12 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

But you gotta actually practice. Not just playing the only part you know how to play. Push yourself. 

i mean

yeah

i totally do that

*sidles away*

all state music is killing me 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

show kindness

also got HRT today I guess

Congrats! How's it feel? To get it?

 

oh wait guys uh

how do you know you have/had a crush on someone hehe. Not that it matters anymore but yeah

Edited June 2 by Usseewa

[Verdance he/him]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

Congrats! How's it feel? To get it?

 

oh wait guys uh

how do you know you have/had a crush on someone hehe. Not that it matters anymore but yeah

I can tell you how to know if you never had a crush on someone in the first place

1 hour ago, momadrac said:

*eyes pop out of skull like Jax but peacefully*

not if you practice 4 hours a day! *dies*

mmmmmm okay

I practice guitar at least an hour a day its basically all i can spare but its bot hard cause i LOVE IT

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

1 hour ago, momadrac said:

i mean

yeah

i totally do that

*sidles away*

all state music is killing me 

REAL

i practice horn for around an hour a day I’m auditioning for my states youth orchestra in like a week

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

Congrats! How's it feel? To get it?

 

oh wait guys uh

how do you know you have/had a crush on someone hehe. Not that it matters anymore but yeah

i mean. Wow. it sure is cool. Don't actually start taking it until tomorrow or the day after though.
I mean I guess there's a lot of relief but I do have to get bloodwork done in five weeks or so which has me in a frenzy (I had an anxiety attack after the last one)

 

As for the crush thing, uh, it's kinda like you enjoy talking/interacting with that person. A lot. and you really really want to be around them. 

1 hour ago, momadrac said:

i mean

yeah

i totally do that

*sidles away*

all state music is killing me 

don't play that often but it is really cool to be able to play a few instruments 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

i mean. Wow. it sure is cool. Don't actually start taking it until tomorrow or the day after though.
I mean I guess there's a lot of relief but I do have to get bloodwork done in five weeks or so which has me in a frenzy (I had an anxiety attack after the last one)

 

As for the crush thing, uh, it's kinda like you enjoy talking/interacting with that person. A lot. and you really really want to be around them. 

don't play that often but it is really cool to be able to play a few instruments 

Yeah, 'tis cool.

gulp, yeah. i got bloodwork (not related to HRT, though) a bit ago and it gave me something (anxiety attack, anxiety, panic attack, idk what it's called). It also bruised badly...

 

uhhhhhh

check and check. cool 

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Yeah, 'tis cool.

gulp, yeah. i got bloodwork (not related to HRT, though) a bit ago and it gave me something (anxiety attack, anxiety, panic attack, idk what it's called). It also bruised badly...

 

uhhhhhh

check and check. cool 

if it bruised that means that you didn't apply pressure to the extraction point- a tip for next time, I guess. 

bloodwork is very scary. Was hard to breathe or even see after getting blood drawn. No idea why. 

Can I ask what anti-androgen you're on? That would be the second thing you take with estrogen (probably Spiro or cypro)

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

if it bruised that means that you didn't apply pressure to the extraction point- a tip for next time, I guess. 

bloodwork is very scary. Was hard to breathe or even see after getting blood drawn. No idea why. 

Can I ask what anti-androgen you're on? That would be the second thing you take with estrogen (probably Spiro or cypro)

oops. i got it drawn again after that (way less tho) and it bruised too.

i hate it so much. i was barely breathing during it, or was doing shallow. I think I could see fine, though. But what was also bad is when I closed my eyes during the draw to try and handle it, I got very distressing images so I had to open them and of course I also saw the vials of blood afterwards and oh god.... It's just scary for some people, i guess? Like Tess and Lily.

why

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Usseewa said:

oops. i got it drawn again after that (way less tho) and it bruised too.

i hate it so much. i was barely breathing during it, or was doing shallow. I think I could see fine, though. But what was also bad is when I closed my eyes during the draw to try and handle it, I got very distressing images so I had to open them and of course I also saw the vials of blood afterwards and oh god.... It's just scary for some people, i guess? Like Tess and Lily.

why

i feel nothing when i see my own blood 

i mean this in both a depressing and very literal non emotional way

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Verdance said:

i feel nothing when i see my own blood 

i mean this in both a depressing and very literal non emotional way

IT DEPENDS WHEN/HOW I SEE IT  

actually i think it always unsettles me, except for random minor stuff I guess

but cuts and blood draws

it's not always the blood itself but what it implies and what it is

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

oops. i got it drawn again after that (way less tho) and it bruised too.

i hate it so much. i was barely breathing during it, or was doing shallow. I think I could see fine, though. But what was also bad is when I closed my eyes during the draw to try and handle it, I got very distressing images so I had to open them and of course I also saw the vials of blood afterwards and oh god.... It's just scary for some people, i guess? Like Tess and Lily.

you just gotta look away. I didn't dare to peek at it when I did it 

during the blood test it was fine. It was just afterwards that I struggled, even though it wasn't painful at all it still felt terribly traumatic for some reason.

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

why

 

I'm curious whether you got cyproterone or spirolactone or if you got any anti-androgen at all, especially since you didn't mention any typical effects relating to spirolactone (since it's a diuretic)

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

you just gotta look away. I didn't dare to peek at it when I did it 

during the blood test it was fine. It was just afterwards that I struggled, even though it wasn't painful at all it still felt terribly traumatic for some reason.

 

I'm curious whether you got cyproterone or spirolactone or if you got any anti-androgen at all, especially since you didn't mention any typical effects relating to spirolactone (since it's a diuretic)

i always look away

i don't think I've ever seen a needle enter my body, and I don't wish to.

i struggle both during and after. i feel weird after. i don't remember exactly since most of today i haven't been able to rhink properly/as much (it happens) but yeah.

 

i got an anti-androgen med, yes.

[momadrac they/them]

45 minutes ago, Verdance said:

I can tell you how to know if you never had a crush on someone in the first place

I practice guitar at least an hour a day its basically all i can spare but its bot hard cause i LOVE IT

 

34 minutes ago, Honors Spectral Image said:

REAL

i practice horn for around an hour a day I’m auditioning for my states youth orchestra in like a week

reallllll

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

how do you know you have/had a crush on someone hehe. Not that it matters anymore but yeah

you get really giddy after interaction with them and you want to text them. all. the. time.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, momadrac said:

 

reallllll

you get really giddy after interaction with them and you want to text them. all. the. time.

too bad i don't have her number  

[momadrac they/them]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

too bad i don't have her number  

i mean i didn't have my crush's number till last friday but i did it you got this

and now they actually text me and i talk to them everyday 

also i made gay art

sel is my handle if i ever got on social media

Spoiler

its a lil bit special

Edited June 2 by momadrac

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, momadrac said:

i mean i didn't have my crush's number till last friday but i did it you got this

and now they actually text me and i talk to them everyday 

also i made gay art

sel is my handle if i ever got on social media

  Hide contents

 

congrats

 

I won't see her again tho cuz she was

Spoiler

in the psych ward with me

so unless i look her up (i know her first and last name, I think) and hope I can find her, but it might be creepy or too late...

 

I can't even figure out what i feel anymore

also it wouldn't work as a crush since I won't see her IRL even if i text 

bjt texting would be nice

and/or vidoe calls

never done those much 

[momadrac they/them]

Just now, Usseewa said:

congrats

 

I won't see her again tho cuz she was

  Reveal hidden contents

in the psych ward with me

so unless i look her up (i know her first and last name, I think) and hope I can find her, but it might be creepy or too late...

yeah thats hard

i mean you could pm her on social media

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, momadrac said:

yeah thats hard

i mean you could pm her on social media

but is it weird/stalkery? to just look her up? she didn't even give me her socials

also I'd have to make accounts lol cuz i dont have the standard social medias

but that's ofc fine

[momadrac they/them]

Just now, Usseewa said:

but is it weird/stalkery? to just look her up? she didn't even give me her socials

also I'd have to make accounts lol cuz i dont have the standard social medias

but that's ofc fine

just be like hey was thinking of u sorry if this is creepy wanna chat?

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

i always look away

i don't think I've ever seen a needle enter my body, and I don't wish to.

i struggle both during and after. i feel weird after. i don't remember exactly since most of today i haven't been able to rhink properly/as much (it happens) but yeah.

 

i got an anti-androgen med, yes.

I have to get bloodwork every 6-8 weeks for the foreseeable future unfortunately. Maybe I'll get used to it. Or maybe I'll finally actually look into getting anxiety medications (probably not!)

actually I don't know why I asked you're probably on Spiro cause you're US based and cypro is strangely not marketed there. I also got Spiro. turned out I didn't get a choice. 

either way, I have plans to transition over the summer. to the point where I change my gender expression. but I'm worried that's not enough time

 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

I have to get bloodwork every 6-8 weeks for the foreseeable future unfortunately. Maybe I'll get used to it. Or maybe I'll finally actually look into getting anxiety medications (probably not!)

actually I don't know why I asked you're probably on Spiro cause you're US based and cypro is strangely not marketed there. I also got Spiro. turned out I didn't get a choice. 

either way, I have plans to transition over the summer. to the point where I change my gender expression. but I'm worried that's not enough time

 

i gotta get bloodwork too.. it'll be fine... hehe.. *weak nervous half-smile thing* u should look into anxiety meds for sure if thats issue. personally i tried like one a while back and i don't think it worked. maybe i need axneith meds ahh...ehha

yeah that's what i thought. just didn't wana give more evidence for what country I'm in  

that's great! i mean.. I don't see how it wouldn't be enough time (except if you mean with HRT). You can get clothes and come out in days/weeks. Voice training is harder ofc (i haven't started )

 

also make sure u don't get injections if you can't handle needles.

unless ur fine, idk.

i got a patch for the E just cuz it seemed the safest, idk.

well i mean i didn't want injections

and pill seemed to have more risks

6 minutes ago, momadrac said:

just be like hey was thinking of u sorry if this is creepy wanna chat?

yeah, maybe

11 minutes ago, momadrac said:

just be like hey was thinking of u sorry if this is creepy wanna chat?

i tried searching her and idk  

idk if i even got the last name right...

i found one random tiktok thumbnail that looked kinda like her but idk

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

gotta get bloodwork too.. it'll be fine... hehe.. *weak nervous half-smile thing* u should look into anxiety meds for sure if thats issue. personally i tried like one a while back and i don't think it worked. maybe i need axneith meds ahh...ehha

yeah that's what i thought. just didn't wana give more evidence for what country I'm in  

meh I'll be fine. The only concern I have is having to drive back (I can do that now)

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

that's great! i mean.. I don't see how it wouldn't be enough time (except if you mean with HRT). You can get clothes and come out in days/weeks. Voice training is harder ofc (i haven't started )

oh I've already come out to everyone important over the summer. it's just voice training and gaining confidence, mostly.

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

also make sure u don't get injections if you can't handle needles.

unless ur fine, idk.

i got a patch for the E just cuz it seemed the safest, idk.

well i mean i didn't want injections

and pill seemed to have more risks

Pills cost the least and are covered by universal healthcare in Canada, so I chose them. While they do have increased health risks (mainly involving the liver) most of them only arise if you have previous risk factors or on higher dosages. 

Patches have the unfortunate downside of not being consistent at delivering the right amounts, apparently, and are generally considered less effective and more expensive. I did have the option for patches but I chose to take pills because why not. 

Injections are some people's preferred method because you only need to do them once every week or two, and they bypass the liver entirely. Effective for mono-E therapy as well. I was not offered injections at the clinic I went to.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

22 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

meh I'll be fine. The only concern I have is having to drive back (I can do that now)

oh I've already come out to everyone important over the summer. it's just voice training and gaining confidence, mostly.

Pills cost the least and are covered by universal healthcare in Canada, so I chose them. While they do have increased health risks (mainly involving the liver) most of them only arise if you have previous risk factors or on higher dosages. 

Patches have the unfortunate downside of not being consistent at delivering the right amounts, apparently, and are generally considered less effective and more expensive. I did have the option for patches but I chose to take pills because why not. 

Injections are some people's preferred method because you only need to do them once every week or two, and they bypass the liver entirely. Effective for mono-E therapy as well. I was not offered injections at the clinic I went to.

cools

oh, neat. i honestly... both want my voice different but am kinda fine to be like i am now in that I'm still a girl, still trans. I don't like my voice, but idk. 

Yeah.. i don't like making choices  sometiems

35 minutes ago, momadrac said:

just be like hey was thinking of u sorry if this is creepy wanna chat?

I can't find her  

Edited June 2 by Usseewa

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

oh, neat. i honestly... both want my voice different but am kinda fine to be like i am now in that I'm still a girl, still trans. I don't like my voice, but idk. 

Yeah.. i don't like making choices  sometiems

I mean for me it's just that I don't want people to hear my voice and immediately go into apologizing for thinking I was female or something. 

choices are hard. it can be hard to feel not indifferent too. 

oh yeah also I got given a purse tbh what do I put in it

 

[Verdance he/him]

30 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

cools

oh, neat. i honestly... both want my voice different but am kinda fine to be like i am now in that I'm still a girl, still trans. I don't like my voice, but idk. 

Yeah.. i don't like making choices  sometiems

I can't find her  

Voice training is supposed to be very doable

look up mythrodak to ivory transition

 

see my voice is going the opposite direction though because i keep stretching it deeper 

idek tbh