The Newcago Court

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

"Fine." *takes out hand axe*

"If you are squeamish I suggest you look away." *walks over to the random table, places arm on it. ( noise of axe hitting table idk ) Cuts off arm, flips axe into the air. Grabs arm throws it into a basket. grabs the axe chops off leg. Wobbles as the arm and leg regenerate, puts away axe. Throws leg into basket. Takes out mop, cleans up blood.* "Well that was easy. Anything else?"

*walks to the door, stops, looks back.* "I will want some of that food." *leaves*

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

Yes, you did at that, Theorymaker (Ghostblood killer).

Ashiok, leave him be. Observers won him fair and square. And Peng is now Wafflesworn so all good. For now, my problem is the pilfering and tilted kitchen. Let's prep a contract for The Observer's Guild.

Your Majesty, Queen Elsa, Princess Delightful, your esteemed court should not have to pay for the pilfering that Observers do. We are happy to absorb these losses and not charge you so long as you ensure that Observers take their own catering contract with us.

Otherwise, you will keep funding the Elsecalling they've been doing (by feeding them waffles).

Here, take cupcakes. The snowflake designs are all tilted, because our kitchen staff was Elsecalled by the Observers while making it.

They have definitely NOT been just observing.

If I remember correctly, it was you who SET THE KITCHEN STAFF ON ME. I was acting in pure self-defense. Also, I harmed no-one in the process.

[+Quitecontrary she/her]

Thank you for reminding me. 

 

I think it was because the peace treaty was off then, and you did try to sway a potential Wafflesworn.

 

Anyhow, let's have waffles and peace. *hands him a plate of waffles and a contract for services to The Observers*

[Delightful]

Quiet! I will not have squabbling in this court.

 

Waffelsworn, Observers, you may each send one representative to make your case. Her Majesty Queen Elsa Steelheart and I shall rule based on logical argument, not this incessant bickering.

Leftinch, will you kindly scribe the meeting?

 

 For the meantime, no Observers whatsoever have permission to enter the Wafflesworn kitchen in Newcago, which will be strictly guarded, They may order takeaway, should the Wafflesworn deign to do them the service. Am I clear?

 

*sweeps the room with an imperious gaze*

 

Edit: Ah, thank you quitecontrary for attempting to make peace. Elsa and I will be carefully watching. We want no war here.

Edited May 30, 2014 by Delightful

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

(Dammit, looks like the free food is gone... for now)

 

There won't be any need for negotiations, Delight. We aren't children who are bickering over scraps.

 

Thank you for reinstating the peace, contrary. Here, you can have this (tosses contrary a toy panda).

 

(That's right, it's him! Sanderson Elimination Quick Fix Game 2 is up for signing up! Who wants to join?)

[Left he/him]

It appears my services might no longer be needed for now, so I will go back to the shelves. But first, Contrary, watch that panda. We've seen what stuffed bears can do in Alcatraz, and a panda is probably more dangerous.

[+Quitecontrary she/her]

It appears my services might no longer be needed for now, so I will go back to the shelves. But first, Contrary, watch that panda. We've seen what stuffed bears can do in Alcatraz, and a panda is probably more dangerous.

The Toy Panda is locked in a place where it can do no harm, Master Leftinch. We scanned it and found a bug inside (typical of the Observers).

 

But it's sooooooooo cute! I couldn't possibly throw it away. 

Edited May 31, 2014 by Quitecontrary

[Lightsworn Panda he/him]

Bug? What bug? I swear to the Other God that I did not put a bug in it.

 

...

 

Did the panda put the bug inside itself?

 

...

 

(The toy panda's smile looks a bit wider than usual)

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

It appears my services might no longer be needed for now, so I will go back to the shelves. But first, Contrary, watch that panda. We've seen what stuffed bears can do in Alcatraz, and a panda is probably more dangerous.

Your services? Does that mean you're still part of Newcago Court?

[Left he/him]

Don't worry M'Queen, is just meant my immediate services. I am still a loyal servant to the Frozen Royalty.

Edited May 31, 2014 by Leftinch

[+Quitecontrary she/her]

Don't worry M'Queen, is just meant my immediate services. I am still a loyal servant to the Frozen Royalty.

I've been wondering, Master Leftinch. How do you keep your archives dry in this castle? All shelves are made of ice!

[Left he/him]

If I told you I'd have to soulcast you into smoke.

[+Quitecontrary she/her]

And I'd have found a way to resist. A stick did, after all.

You also could've spared the threat, and just told me if it was a secret. THAT is one thing cooks understand. Secret ingredients, secret recipes.

Secrets to dry books in melting icy shelves...

*sits down at a table, grabs a shardspork, sticks it in a fresh hot waffle, and waits for the head scholar to respond*

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

And I'd have found a way to resist. A stick did, after all.

You also could've spared the threat, and just told me if it was a secret. THAT is one thing cooks understand. Secret ingredients, secret recipes.

Secrets to dry books in melting icy shelves...

*sits down at a table, grabs a shardspork, sticks it in a fresh hot waffle, and waits for the head scholar to respond*

Who is the head scholar?

[Left he/him]

That'd be me M'Queen. I tend to be irritable in true scholarly form unless fed large amounts of Schwaffles. As a god three times over I hope that I could turn a cook into smoke, although considering you make the best Schwaffles there is no way I ever would. As for my secret, well lets just say I try and keep things from getting messy.

[Left he/him]

Double post, but totally unrelated.

 

I've been downvoting the spam-bots so that I can see what all the negative ranks are, I ask the court to come and help me in my crusade!

 

Edit: It appears I've reached my limit for downvotes today.... Fight for me! I've got them to a Hoed, let us see how much of a monster these bots truly are!

Edited May 31, 2014 by Leftinch

[Delightful]

Double post, but totally unrelated.

 

I've been downvoting the spam-bots so that I can see what all the negative ranks are, I ask the court to come and help me in my crusade!

Head Scholar Leftinch, can you confirm that there are new negative rep levels?

[Left he/him]

There's at least the -10 which is a Hoed. (I can't even remember what those are... the mindless Elantrians maybe?)

[Delightful]

There's at least the -10 which is a Hoed. (I can't even remember what those are... the mindless Elantrians maybe?)

Yeah. And below those is Beheaded Inquisitor. I don't think they've been changed from Claincy's thread.

[Awesomeness Summoned he/him]

If you hadn't seen it Leftinch, Claincy has a running list of the reputation levels in the Fourth Post of the New Repution Levels thread.

Edited May 31, 2014 by Awesomeness Summoned

[Ashiok]

So what? lets down vote the Investiture out of the Lifeless Spambots

[+Quitecontrary she/her]

Is there no way to just take those posts down, as well as block the member/sender completely?

I've been downvoting them as well, but it's still annoying to see them in the Recent Posts column.

[Kobold King he/him]

Is there no way to just take those posts down, as well as block the member/sender completely?

I've been downvoting them as well, but it's still annoying to see them in the Recent Posts column.

 

It can probably be done, but none of the staff is online. Probably because it's Saturday.

 

GASP. The spam bots have learned our culture and have exploited our weakness!

[FeatherWriter she/her]

If y'all would report spambots one of the admins will take care of them. It's much more efficient than trying to downvote them or something. As I believe has been said, the negative rep levels are already pretty well documented.

[Ashiok]

But its fun!