The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

The volcano spewed out glitter and confetti, so Urik wasn‘t very terrifying.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

His volcano had still murdered 42 billion people

[Ranryu she/her]

Including almost every single pig in existence, because pigs are people too. Only one pig survived.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

Hambo.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

He swore revenge for the massacre of his mind.

[NameIess]

He failed utterly.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

But Hambo took his bazooka and tried again.

[Ranryu she/her]

For if Hambo had learned one thing from his relentless reading of Alcatraz vs. the evil librarians, it was that trying again would always lead to amazing rewards.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

So Hambo and his bazooka set out to kill Urik the Bald.

[Ranryu she/her]

His bazooka was named Bubbles.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

Bubbles had slain many a dragon.

[Ranryu she/her]

His reputation was known throughout the bazooka community. Many bazooka children went to bed every night wishing they were as epic as Bubbles.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

Bazookas told stories of him, Bubbles the Dragonslayer, and a statue had even been erected in his honor.

[Ranryu she/her]

Of course, Hambo knew nothing of his bazooka's fame. The pig just wanted to blow up a dragon.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

And so, Hambo came to Urik‘s lair, and when Hambo and Bubbles entered, they both realized that Urik hoarded…

[Ranryu she/her]

Statues of Bubbles the Bazooka. Everywhere, from floor to ceiling, statues were piled up. Urik was a Bubbles superfan.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

So they decided not to kill Urik, because they would loose too much money.

[Ranryu she/her]

Instead, they became business partners and founded a mega corporation called Bubbles inc.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

Bubbles inc. made t–Shirts, action figures, and toy bazookas.

[Ranryu she/her]

They tried selling real bazookas to children, but the Nebraska Department of Education complained about increased school vandalism (Via explosion. Goodbye, Southwest high school), so they were forced to recall all of Bubble's relatives.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

Plus, Bubble‘s relatives didn‘t enjoy being handled so roughly, so they went on strike.

[NameIess]

By exploding.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

Bubbles was heartbroken. He was the last bazooka left.

[NameIess]

So he hired a consultant.

[Rabbit Unmade she/her]

Butt Veture and Burt the Adorable Grub.