+Slowswift Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Maybe your siblings weren't as gross as mine? One of my earliest memories is of my brother eating a fire ant off the sidewalk. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, though. If going to see a psych helps, I'd definitely recommend it. We'll see. Normally it isn't so bad -- I don't freak out over microbes on the elevator buttons or on the keyboard -- but I just can't stomach shoveling litter. It actually used to be worse, though. I remember I couldn't go near anyone with an open wound for weeks because we'd just talked about AIDS in Health. Thanks, though.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 I now have a crush on two of my friends. Just my luck. I never asked for this. Why is it always friends. I think it's because you see everything that's crush-worthy in them. I know how awkward a sudden crush can make a friendship, though.
Kestrel she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Yeah, its so awkward. One I've had for a while, he has a girlfriend though and knows I like him, but it didn't hurt us as friends, so that's good. The other one is in animation with me and he's a senior. I really want to ask him out but we haven't been friends for long enough I feel nor do I know his relationship status.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Yeah, its so awkward. One I've had for a while, he has a girlfriend though and knows I like him, but it didn't hurt us as friends, so that's good. The other one is in animation with me and he's a senior. I really want to ask him out but we haven't been friends for long enough I feel nor do I know his relationship status. Is there some sort of sneaky way you can find out?
Kestrel she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 If only. Oh man. Why do I get myself into these things.
Kaymyth she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 If only. Oh man. Why do I get myself into these things. Because you're a human teenager with emotions and hormones and stuff. You're perfectly normal, there. 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Yes, Other Receptionist. I love it when you leave your desk for an impromptu ten- or fifteen-minute break and transfer all of your calls to me without warning. It's not like my phone system is so much smaller than yours, meaning I can't tell who's available and who's not, forcing me to transfer the same call over and over in hopes of getting a person on the phone. 1
Delightful Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Yeah, its so awkward. One I've had for a while, he has a girlfriend though and knows I like him, but it didn't hurt us as friends, so that's good. The other one is in animation with me and he's a senior. I really want to ask him out but we haven't been friends for long enough I feel nor do I know his relationship status. Would it be too weird to just ask him?
Orlion Blight he/him Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Would it be too weird to just ask him? Things could get really awkward really fast. Us Americans are fine with "implied" situations, so even if everyone knew about the crush, it's fine until it is irrevocably confirmed.
Delightful Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 But you can't do anything until it's confirmed. Ask him out and he either says no I have a girlfriend, or he says yes and you go out. No?
Orlion Blight he/him Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 But you can't do anything until it's confirmed. Ask him out and he either says no I have a girlfriend, or he says yes and you go out. No? If you want to make things awkward Sure, that might be the perpetual state of adolescence, but it is what it is
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 If only it were that straightforward. If you want to make things awkward Sure, that might be the perpetual state of adolescence, but it is what it is It's definitely easier to do when you're an adult, in college for example. When I was in high school, walking up to someone and asking if they were single would've mortified me and made things extremely awkward between us. In college, I had several guys do that, and it wasn't really that bad.
+Slowswift Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 It's definitely easier to do when you're an adult, in college for example. When I was in high school, walking up to someone and asking if they were single would've mortified me and made things extremely awkward between us. In college, I had several guys do that, and it wasn't really that bad. Huh. So, socialing gets better after high school? Because I've heard differing opinions on that.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Huh. So, socialing gets better after high school? Because I've heard differing opinions on that. It got better for me, anyway. Experiences may differ, but for me, it got a lot easier.
Delightful Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 (edited) Situations are only awkward if you let them be awkward..... That being said I've never actually done it. Edited January 9, 2016 by Delightful
+Slowswift Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 (edited) It got better for me, anyway. Experiences may differ, but for me, it got a lot easier. Well, that's comforting, at least. Knowing that it's not all just a load of crem. EDIT: Delightful, I wish that was true for me. Unfortunately, the definition of Asperger's is "a developmental disorder affecting ability to effectively socialize and communicate." So as much as I'd like to, right now everything social is awkward. That's why I'm hoping things get better. Edited January 9, 2016 by Slowswift 1
Orlion Blight he/him Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Situations are only awkward if you let them be awkward..... That being said I've never actually done it. Not at all, the other person is usually just as guilty for making it awkward! For example, in your theoretical example of just asking someone out, you posit only two outcomes, but ignore other more likely responses such as: "Huh? What?" "Oh..." "*Quick intake of breath*" *Prolonged pause* And other such reactions which don't really resolve the issue because the subject of your experiment is just as awkward/unsure as you are! It's a madhouse! As far as it getting better in college, it's a yes/no situation. It is easier, but you still have to overcome your own shyness.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Well, that's comforting, at least. Knowing that it's not all just a load of crem. It's like this: When you're in high school, your brain is still developing. It's normal, it's natural, it's an essential part of life. What the high school system does is it puts hundreds of people with raging hormones and underdeveloped brains in the same building, for hours on end, with comparatively few adults. But the adults don't matter much in the social scheme of things, because they're not there to show the students how to socialize; they're there to teach them things like math and science and Shakespeare. So what you have in high school is basically a massive social experiment with little monitoring, which is why so many taboos and social norms will seem weird in retrospect. When you get into college, brains are more fully developed. Hormones have calmed. Everything seems less dire, and taboos relax and change. Your brain will be more developed by that point. The brain of your crush will be more developed by that point. Your concerns and priorities will have shifted, and asking someone if they have a significant other won't seem like the massive social faux pas it once was. Things do get better. Trust me on this.
Delightful Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Not at all, the other person is usually just as guilty for making it awkward! For example, in your theoretical example of just asking someone out, you posit only two outcomes, but ignore other more likely responses such as: "Huh? What?" "Oh..." "*Quick intake of breath*" *Prolonged pause* And other such reactions which don't really resolve the issue because the subject of your experiment is just as awkward/unsure as you are! It's a madhouse! As far as it getting better in college, it's a yes/no situation. It is easier, but you still have to overcome your own shyness. So wait if necessary/repeat the question. You're the one asking, you're the one in control of the situation. And be aware that your worth doesn't come from his/her answer. A pause or a no or even if they stare at you and say "what? I'd never go out with you!" reflects on them, not on you. You're still the same person, you're a little braver for having actually asked, and you're awesome. The only thing that changes is that you either have a date, or you know he's not interested in you. Also, like, possibly he wants to ask you out but isn't brave enough himself. You never know. Hold onto the knowledge that you are a human being and you have worth, work on loving yourself and then possible rejection by someone else isn't quite so scary because you've got your own back. As someone said to me today, you should always be your own best friend. Slowswift, I can't comment on how this could or could not apply to Aspergers because I actually know almost nothing about it. I'm sorry that it makes your life more difficult.
+Slowswift Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Slowswift, I can't comment on how this could or could not apply to Aspergers because I actually know almost nothing about it. I'm sorry that it makes your life more difficult. It's mostly my social life, and I mostly go to parties for the music anyways. But thank you!
Delightful Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Social life is important! Not parties necessarily but friends. Friends are good.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 It's mostly my social life, and I mostly go to parties for the music anyways. But thank you! Have you been to wrongplanet.net? They have a lot of resources on just about everything, and their forum is pretty helpful and friendly. You might find some advice on there.
Kaymyth she/her Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Huh. So, socialing gets better after high school? Because I've heard differing opinions on that. It definitely got better for me. Of course, I went from a small town podunk high school to a college with a very high concentration of nerds, which helped lots. For intelligent nerdy types, college is a godsend because it has a tendency to concentrate similar people into a smaller geographical space.
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