Chuck Norris Facts

[Lunamor she/her]

There are currently 5 dormant viruses that could eradicate the world’s population in less than a week. They are lying low because Chuck Norris does not like competition.

[Soulbinder she/her]

When the cops pull Chuck Norris over, they try to talk their way out of it.

[Lunamor she/her]

On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.

[Soulbinder she/her]

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, cars look both ways for Chuck Norris.

[Lunamor she/her]

Math was invented by Chuck Norris as a body-count system.

[TheFrugalWizard he/him]

7 hours ago, Lunamor said:

When Chuck Norris gets in a car crash the air bags do not save Chuck Norris, they save the car.

This would be true, if any cars were brave enough to crash into Chuck Norris.

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris ties himself down at night to prevent himself from sleep-killing. When he kills, he wants to remember it.

[Soulbinder she/her]

When the Hulk gets really angry he turns into Chuck Norris.

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris invented the car in order to give his victims the impression they could escape him.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Chuck Norris once heard nothing could kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.

[TheFrugalWizard he/him]

When Chuck Norris was in school, his teacher assigned him an essay entitled "What is Courage?" He recived a 100 by turning in a blank paper with his name at the top.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Chuck Norris can sled uphill.

[TheFrugalWizard he/him]

Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."

[Soulbinder she/her]

Chuck Norris once picked up a stick. That stick was afterwards referred to by wizards as the Elder Wand.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

I had a really good one that I didn’t write down and now I’ve forgotten it.

[Lunamor she/her]

29 minutes ago, WhyEverNot_8 said:

I had a really good one that I didn’t write down and now I’ve forgotten it.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the idea and now it’s obliterated.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

12 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the idea and now it’s obliterated.

Lol, he probably did.

Chuck Norris is simultaneously the best and worst at Hacky Sack. He’s the best because the ball never hits the ground, but also the worse because you never see the ball again.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

Chuck Norris can win tic tac toe in 2 moves

[Soulbinder she/her]

Chuck Norris once punched a guy so hard he hit the ground five minutes earlier.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

Chuck Norris can win a thumb war with his foot.

[Soulbinder she/her]

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

3 minutes ago, Soulbinder said:

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

because he is or because he already killed "no one"

[Soulbinder she/her]

Chuck Norris can pick apples from orange trees and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

[Lunamor she/her]

The song “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” was actually originally written about Chuck Norris.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

My friend asked “who’s Chuck Norris” and then Chuck Norris appeared and roundhouse kicked her memory into alignment, causing her to remember who he was.