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Posted

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Posted

According to the Geneva Convention, it is considered a war crime to use Chuck Norris.

Posted

Chuck Norris was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for letting so many people live.

Posted
25 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

According to the Geneva Convention, it is considered a war crime to use Chuck Norris.

Of course, they never tried to tell him that. 

Posted (edited)

Chuck Norris was camping once and needed to relieve himself, so he dug a hole. You might know it as the Grand Canyon.

Edited by Lunamor
Posted

The first true moon landing occurred when Chuck Norris entered a long jump competition.

Posted (edited)

Chuck Norris once flipped a coin. It still has not landed.

Edited by Lunamor
Posted

Chuck Norris thinks of the Laws of Physics as 'friendly suggestions.'

Posted

Chuck Norris's computer's keyboard does not have a control key. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Posted

Chuck Norris can't predict the future. The future just does what it's told.

Posted
9 hours ago, Lunamor said:

Chuck Norris's computer's keyboard does not have a control key. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Neither does it have a backspace key, (because Chuck Norris does not make mistakes), a shift key (Chuck Norris does not change; the world does), or an escape key (because nothing escapes Chuck Norris).

Posted

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.

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