Chuck Norris Facts

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris eats bullets for breakfast. You better not be around when he burps!

[Lord Spirit he/him]

Kaladin can defeat a shardbearer with a spear.

Chuck Norris can defeat Kaladin with his bare hands.

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris can charge a cellphone by rubbing it against his beard.

[Soulbinder she/her]

In the beginning there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the nothing and the universe was born.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

There are three constants in the world: life, death and Chuck Norris

[Lunamor she/her]

Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Time waits for no man except Chuck Norris.

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

Chuck Norris shattered Adonalsium, then thought the powers were too weak so he left them on a table somewhere

Edited March 6, 2024 by WhyEverNot_8
I misspelled table… TABLE! (I’m ashamed of myself)

[Lunamor she/her]

We all know that the magic word is please. As in the sentence, 'Please don't kill me.' Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories around a campfire

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Gravity is optional for Chuck Norris.

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

[Soulbinder she/her]

9 hours ago, Lunamor said:

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

In other words, Chuck Norris is the solution to the Fermi Paradox.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

3 minutes ago, Soulbinder said:

In other words, Chuck Norris is the solution to the Fermi Paradox.

Or the cause.

[Soulbinder she/her]

12 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Or the cause.

Is there really a difference?

 

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost the fight.

[Lunamor she/her]

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Chuck Norris Once decided to create an AI. He decided to call it "The Human Brain"

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.

[Faerie Braids she/her]

And he was born with his motorcyclists license.

[Lunamor she/her]

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Chuck Norris has the world record for sitting still for 2 minute the fastest, at 1 minute, 43 seconds, and 72 miliseconds

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.

[Soulbinder she/her]

If Chuck Norris became the president, he would protect the Secret Service

[Lunamor she/her]

When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.