Chuck Norris Facts

[TheFrugalWizard he/him]

To Chuck Norris, a world record is a prerequisite.

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris has counted backwards from infinity.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

In 2006, Pluto looked at Chuck Norris funny. 

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris once worked as a lumberjack in a forest called Sahara.

[One of the Ten Fools he/him]

when Chuck Norris needs to relax he joins the army

[Lord Spirit he/him]

8 hours ago, Lunamor said:

Chuck Norris once worked as a lumberjack in a forest called Sahara.

He also worked as a miner in Arizona.

[TheFrugalWizard he/him]

When Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb, Chuck Norris got some installed in his hologram room.

The sun sets every morning because that's when Chuck Norris wakes up.

When Chuck Norris looks at a stop sign, it becomes a go sign.

Death Valley used to be a flourishing place of flowers and life. Then Chuck Norris went there. 

Birds don't migrate. Chuck norris moves north, and the birds run away.

Bears don't hibernate. Winter is Chuck Norris's hunting season.

They came up with the mach system to measure the speed of Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks.

Chuck Norris breathes air. Five times a day.

Edited February 20, 2024 by TheFrugalWizard
Added a joke

[One of the Ten Fools he/him]

When Gotham City needs a hero, they call Batman. When Batman needs a hero, he calls Chuck Norris.

 

[Soulbinder she/her]

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror the glass shards get bad luck for seven years

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Chuck Norris ran a bridge once. The Parshendi immediately surrendered.

[TheFrugalWizard he/him]

Just now, Soulbinder said:

Chuck Norris ran a bridge once. The Parshendi immediately surrendered.

Chuck Norris didn't run the bridge. It ran from him.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

There were two people on Taravangiens list that Szeth didn’t kill. 
Taravangien and Chuck Norris. 

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Chuck Norris won the game.

[Lunamor she/her]

Fear of water is hydrophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is logic.

[Soulbinder she/her]

If Chuck Norris were to chase them penguins would no longer be flightless birds

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

[Soulbinder she/her]

Just now, Lunamor said:

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

Additionally, no force in existence can contain Chuck Norris, so there was no point in convicting him

[Lord Spirit he/him]

1 minute ago, Soulbinder said:

Additionally, no force in existence can contain Chuck Norris, so there was no point in convicting him

And the judge wanted to live

[Soulbinder she/her]

If you go to Disneyland, you will see a normal line, a FastPass line, and a Chuck Norris line, because Chuck Norris waits for nothing.

[Lunamor she/her]

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this glitch, Norris replied "That's no glitch."

[TheFrugalWizard he/him]

Slightly graphic, possibly offensive? Will delete it if necessary, let me know.

Spoiler

Chuck Norris doesn't eat girl scout cookies. He eats girl scouts.

 

Edited February 20, 2024 by TheFrugalWizard

[Lunamor she/her]

There’s no way all of this stuff is true. If it were, Chuck Norris would come to my house and slam my head on the keybkwiehb!iwin838(!.!@&;!3kfivp

[TheFrugalWizard he/him]

Chuck Norris is waiting for a nuclear war so he can finally get a good lunch.

[Lord Spirit he/him]

1 minute ago, TheFrugalWizard said:

Chuck Norris is waiting for a nuclear war so he can finally get a good lunch.

I eat warheads

Chuck Norris eats nuclear war heads