Curious Anamaximder he/him Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Well, my mom just apologized….for misunderstanding. Not for acting the way she did—she made sure to explain that she really was upset because she really did think I was trying to make a statement. Dear Mom: "I'm sorry, but" is not an apology. If I did that to you, I would never hear the end of it. I would still be hearing about what an awful person I was for not giving you a real apology, if you happened to need something to throw in my face. Kind of depressing thing below the spoiler…. Seriously, you can turn back now. I'm going to leave as soon as I have the chance. If I get the job I'm interviewing for on Thursday, I'm going to move out as soon as I can, and apply for jobs in places other than Spokane once I have some more experience. If I do apply for a job in Spokane, it'll be three to five years down the road. And I'm just overwhelmed by this feeling that once I cut ties geographically, I'm going to be completely alone. I've had trouble making friends in the past. Not on here—it's easier for me to communicate when I'm writing something down. But in person, I always worry that I'm sending the wrong signals with body language and whatnot, and that I respond wrong to every single social cue. I've had people act like they wanted to be my friends, but I've never pursued the friendship any further because I was either afraid of what my parents would say or because I was afraid I'd screw things up. So now I'm sitting here, and I'm thinking that once they all move away, I'm going to spend my days alone. Holidays alone. Birthdays alone. I've rebuffed everyone who ever wanted to be my friend, and now they've told their friends and I've blacklisted myself. And even if I haven't, I will eventually. I just keep feeling like it's just a matter of time. Twi, you are the nicest person on this site. If you are like that, I'm Odium. 6
Matrim Bloody Cauthon he/him Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 I sympathize with you Twi I haven't been seeing eye to eye with any of my family in the last few years. my depression is slowly getting worse. for years my family have made me feel like I am a mistake they wish they had never made. they degrade me till I wish I didn't exist, they tell me that I am useless and no one will ever love me or even like me. then my dad swears and gets angry at me because of the troubles in our relationship. he tried to get me to talk about it but even when asking me about what is going on he pins all of our problems on me. then the next day my mom talks to me in private trying to defend him because "His father never really cared about him so he doesn't have a good role model for being a father." I don't either. I have one year of high school left and then I am gone. if things keep going the way they are going they might see me for 20 minutes a year on my little brothers birthday. because of all this I have self-esteem and self-confidence issues and have trouble believing that people like me. I cant even trust my friends that they spend time with me because they enjoy it. recently one of my newest friends has been trying to get me a girlfriend when I haven't even gone on a date before. today he had his girlfriend start texting me that she was talking some of my neighbors and that they really like me and I am a great person. I trust my friend and his girlfriend but because of 17 years worth of being told no one cares about me or will ever love me I have trouble believing it. not to mention Im pretty sure his girlfriend found out I have self-esteem and self-confidence issues so I will probably be hearing about that from them. I don't know what to do. I cant wait to move away and avoid people. 7
Delightful Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 I sympathize with you Twi I haven't been seeing eye to eye with any of my family in the last few years. my depression is slowly getting worse. for years my family have made me feel like I am a mistake they wish they had never made. they degrade me till I wish I didn't exist, they tell me that I am useless and no one will ever love me or even like me. then my dad swears and gets angry at me because of the troubles in our relationship. he tried to get me to talk about it but even when asking me about what is going on he pins all of our problems on me. then the next day my mom talks to me in private trying to defend him because "His father never really cared about him so he doesn't have a good role model for being a father." I don't either. I have one year of high school left and then I am gone. if things keep going the way they are going they might see me for 20 minutes a year on my little brothers birthday. because of all this I have self-esteem and self-confidence issues and have trouble believing that people like me. I cant even trust my friends that they spend time with me because they enjoy it. recently one of my newest friends has been trying to get me a girlfriend when I haven't even gone on a date before. today he had his girlfriend start texting me that she was talking some of my neighbors and that they really like me and I am a great person. I trust my friend and his girlfriend but because of 17 years worth of being told no one cares about me or will ever love me I have trouble believing it. not to mention Im pretty sure his girlfriend found out I have self-esteem and self-confidence issues so I will probably be hearing about that from them. I don't know what to do. I cant wait to move away and avoid people. Hugs. So many hugs. For what it's worth, I'm glad to see you posting! I haven't seen you since months ago when I was active in Newcago Court. When people say that they like you, believe them. What possible motive could they have for saying otherwise? 1
Matrim Bloody Cauthon he/him Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 you'd be surprised. I've been stabbed in the back multiple time before from people I thought were my best friends. 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 My mom is having the carpet cleaned today. She didn't tell any of us how long it would take, and for some reason we can't sit in the formal living room (even though there's no carpet in it and it's out of the way?) so my brother is doing his homework beside the pool. That's where we are. Outside, by the pool, in the ONE time of the year when there are actually mosquitoes. Our mom is inside, even though we all have to be outside, in the muggy heat. I have several mosquito bites already. Meanwhile, the poor pugs are stuck out here with us. She sent my siblings out to the park with them earlier today, during the hottest part of the afternoon. The poor things were panting so badly we had to take them to Petsmart just to get them in the AC, but that's not an option at the moment. We got them some water, but our mom STILL won't let them inside because the carpet cleaners are still here. By the way, I saw the new master bathroom. I'd like it better if my parents didn't act like it was more exciting than a pug. 6
Delightful Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 you'd be surprised. I've been stabbed in the back multiple time before from people I thought were my best friends. That's really hard and I'm really sorry. Look, I'm a total stranger and I care about you because I don't like it when anyone is having a hard time. You'll find people who love you. You might not be in the best situation now, but it can and will get better. Just please don't let your family get you down. You're a unique and individual human being who can do things no one else can do because no one else is you. You've got talents you might not even know about yet. *hugs* 4
+Slowswift Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Hugs go out to each and every one of you. Sorry for all you're going through! Anyways, while I find most of the song deplorable, there's one section I absolutely love: This for anybody going through tough times Believe me, been there, done that But everyday above ground is a great day, remember that. Keep going, guys. Y'all are in my prayers. 2
Kaymyth she/her Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 (edited) I sympathize with you Twi I haven't been seeing eye to eye with any of my family in the last few years. my depression is slowly getting worse. for years my family have made me feel like I am a mistake they wish they had never made. they degrade me till I wish I didn't exist, they tell me that I am useless and no one will ever love me or even like me. then my dad swears and gets angry at me because of the troubles in our relationship. he tried to get me to talk about it but even when asking me about what is going on he pins all of our problems on me. then the next day my mom talks to me in private trying to defend him because "His father never really cared about him so he doesn't have a good role model for being a father." I don't either. I have one year of high school left and then I am gone. if things keep going the way they are going they might see me for 20 minutes a year on my little brothers birthday. because of all this I have self-esteem and self-confidence issues and have trouble believing that people like me. I cant even trust my friends that they spend time with me because they enjoy it. recently one of my newest friends has been trying to get me a girlfriend when I haven't even gone on a date before. today he had his girlfriend start texting me that she was talking some of my neighbors and that they really like me and I am a great person. I trust my friend and his girlfriend but because of 17 years worth of being told no one cares about me or will ever love me I have trouble believing it. not to mention Im pretty sure his girlfriend found out I have self-esteem and self-confidence issues so I will probably be hearing about that from them. I don't know what to do. I cant wait to move away and avoid people. Well, this is the first time I've seen you post, and I'm going to tell you right now, complete stranger to complete stranger, that your parents are full of ash. (Seriously, who DOES that to their kid?) My mom is having the carpet cleaned today. She didn't tell any of us how long it would take, and for some reason we can't sit in the formal living room (even though there's no carpet in it and it's out of the way?) so my brother is doing his homework beside the pool. That's where we are. Outside, by the pool, in the ONE time of the year when there are actually mosquitoes. Our mom is inside, even though we all have to be outside, in the muggy heat. I have several mosquito bites already. Meanwhile, the poor pugs are stuck out here with us. She sent my siblings out to the park with them earlier today, during the hottest part of the afternoon. The poor things were panting so badly we had to take them to Petsmart just to get them in the AC, but that's not an option at the moment. We got them some water, but our mom STILL won't let them inside because the carpet cleaners are still here. By the way, I saw the new master bathroom. I'd like it better if my parents didn't act like it was more exciting than a pug. Your mother earns a 'D' for momming today. The only reason she didn't get an 'F' is because why weren't you in the pool? Edited July 28, 2015 by Kaymyth 5
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Your mother earns a 'D' for momming today. The only reason she didn't get an 'F' is because why weren't you in the pool? Because she wouldn't let us go upstairs to our rooms for our bathing suits. 1
Kaymyth she/her Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Because she wouldn't let us go upstairs to our rooms for our bathing suits. ..... F-MINUS (Seriously, if I could've been there, I'd have marched straight past your mother and gotten your suits myself, whilst singing, "Go sit in a bucket and rust!" at her to a random jaunty tune.) 5
Kobold King he/him Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Because she wouldn't let us go upstairs to our rooms for our bathing suits. Yeesh. That's not how you be a decent human being, Twi's mother. I don't suppose she would have relented sooner if you and your siblings had threatened to go skinny-dipping where the neighbors could see? 3
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 (edited) Yeesh. That's not how you be a decent human being, Twi's mother. I don't suppose she would have relented sooner if you and your siblings had threatened to go skinny-dipping where the neighbors could see? No, we would've received an angry lecture...after we proved we were serious about it. On the upside, Mollie urinated on the clean carpet. She did it on one of the towels our mom put down to keep our filthy, filthy feet from tracking in too much dirt, but still. That dog is a badchull and I told her so. Edited July 28, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles
Kaymyth she/her Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Yeesh. That's not how you be a decent human being, Twi's mother. I don't suppose she would have relented sooner if you and your siblings had threatened to go skinny-dipping where the neighbors could see? "We're going into the pool, one way or another. Proper attire or not, dear Mother? Which is it to be?" No, we would've received an angry lecture...after we proved we were serious about it. On the upside, Mollie urinated on the clean carpet. She did it on one of the towels our mom put down to keep our filthy, filthy feet from tracking in too much dirt, but still. That dog is a badchull and I told her so. Mollie has earned all the scritches. 4
Kobold King he/him Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 No, we would've received an angry lecture...after we proved we were serious about it. On the upside, Mollie urinated on the clean carpet. She did it on one of the towels our mom put down to keep our filthy, filthy feet from tracking in too much dirt, but still. That dog is a badchull and I told her so. Ah, but think of the leverage you'd have on her in future arguments. If you fought in public, all you'd need to do is move as if to unbutton your blouse and she'd surrender on the spot. We need a Badchull Mollie meme now. 2
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 We need a Badchull Mollie meme now. I'll work on finding a suitable picture.
Delightful Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 You coulda just jumped in your underwear . Or your clothes, and had your mum dive in and save you. Tell her you're practising to be a lifeguard. 5
Silverblade5 he/him Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 My mom is having the carpet cleaned today. She didn't tell any of us how long it would take, and for some reason we can't sit in the formal living room (even though there's no carpet in it and it's out of the way?) so my brother is doing his homework beside the pool. That's where we are. Outside, by the pool, in the ONE time of the year when there are actually mosquitoes. Our mom is inside, even though we all have to be outside, in the muggy heat. I have several mosquito bites already. Meanwhile, the poor pugs are stuck out here with us. She sent my siblings out to the park with them earlier today, during the hottest part of the afternoon. The poor things were panting so badly we had to take them to Petsmart just to get them in the AC, but that's not an option at the moment. We got them some water, but our mom STILL won't let them inside because the carpet cleaners are still here. By the way, I saw the new master bathroom. I'd like it better if my parents didn't act like it was more exciting than a pug. Because she wouldn't let us go upstairs to our rooms for our bathing suits. Bad mom! Bad bad mom! Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done! 5
Delightful Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Bad mom! Bad bad mom! Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done! I thought you were gonna go "bad Dobby" on that one. 1
Kobold King he/him Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 You coulda just jumped in your underwear . Or your clothes, and had your mum dive in and save you. Tell her you're practising to be a lifeguard. The former's what we do sometimes. It's so hot here in the summer that a layer of wet clothes will dry rapidly and cool you off in the meanwhile. 1
Voidus Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 I live in Australia and near to a beach, which might make the summers (My most hated of all seasons) tolerable if there weren't vast amounts of people and I didn't have severe social anxiety. Also I have a phobia of the beach so that probably wouldn't help. 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 (edited) Guess what! The realtor showed up to take pictures today—and she was half an hour early! So, despite assurances that the house was fine, Mom still panicked when she saw that I had just finished making breakfast for my sister and I. "I'll have her take it upstairs," I said. "Why don't you two eat it outside," she replied. "Oh—wait, they're taking pictures outside. Never mind." So we were saved from having to dine in the heat with the mosquitoes, but that still didn't stop my mom from having me take the sparking coffee machine out to the garage. Because Noodly One forbid a potential buyer realize there are people living in this house who like to have a cup of Joe in the mornings. Edited July 28, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles 3
Kaymyth she/her Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Guess what! The realtor showed up to take pictures today—and she was half an hour early! So, despite assurances that the house was fine, Mom still panicked when she saw that I had just finished making breakfast for my sister and I. "I'll have her take it upstairs," I said. "Why don't you two eat it outside," she replied. "Oh—wait, they're taking pictures outside. Never mind." So we were saved from having to dine in the heat with the mosquitoes, but that still didn't stop my mom from having me take the sparking coffee machine out to the garage. Because Noodly One forbid a potential buyer realize there are people living in this house who like to have a cup of Joe in the mornings. She wanted you to eat outside while the realtor was taking pictures? What, like your food-eating might magically interfere with the camera's job? Or did she somehow think that the realtor seeing you eating might somehow infect the entire listing with the horrible stench of humanity? 2
Kobold King he/him Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 She wanted you to eat outside while the realtor was taking pictures? What, like your food-eating might magically interfere with the camera's job? Or did she somehow think that the realtor seeing you eating might somehow infect the entire listing with the horrible stench of humanity? They should have included you cuddling pugs in as many pictures as possible. Cute woman + cute pug + happy household scene = instant sale! 1
Blaze1616 he/him Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 They should have included you cuddling pugs in as many pictures as possible. Cute woman + cute pug + happy household scene = instant sale! But think of the children Kobold! We know she doesn't cover her safehand! 4
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 She wanted you to eat outside while the realtor was taking pictures? What, like your food-eating might magically interfere with the camera's job? Or did she somehow think that the realtor seeing you eating might somehow infect the entire listing with the horrible stench of humanity? She has an almost Epic-like ability to detect crumbs and other minuscule food particles. She flipped out on my sister last night for eating a cookie, apparently forgetting that a wet cloth picks up crumbs like magic. So she probably thought that if we got a few crumbs on the floor or counter, everyone who saw the pictures would somehow zero in on the crumbs. They should have included you cuddling pugs in as many pictures as possible. Cute woman + cute pug + happy household scene = instant sale! That's what I keep saying, but apparently the real estate business isn't as forward-thinking as you are. But think of the children Kobold! We know she doesn't cover her safehand! Maybe that's why she was worried….no, she doesn't cover her safehand, either, so that can't be it…. 1
Recommended Posts