The Battle for the Sandwich

[Immortal Platypus]

But time travel was banned! It has been for a long time! no pun intended, don't kill me. Thus your statement is invalid.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

However, we restarted several times after that. This invalidates your statement, as time travel is no longer banned.

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

I take the sandwich that I have not posted about in a very long time 

Spoiler

Time get it?

 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I trade you some thyme for the sandwich.

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

Deal!

[Immortal Platypus]

I take us back to the present with my Shardic powers and ban time travel once more.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

But we are in the present! Also a present. I gift-wrapped everyone while they weren't looking.

[Immortal Platypus]

But I brought us back to the previous present, where we were before you brought us back in time. I tear out of the wrapping paper when only Nerdy is looking. I also take the sandwich from them.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I gently snap your shins with a crowbar and politely rip the Sandwich from your hands. I then rudely pay for your medical bills.

[Immortal Platypus]

I eat the crowbar you left behind. It was made of atium and I track you down and burn it to take the sandwich from you. I run off with my snapped shins and payed medical bills. And the sandwich.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows catch up to you hobbling along with your snapped shins, and take the sandwich from you.

[Immortal Platypus]

I let the shadows have my snapped shins, but I keep the medical bills. I take the sandwich to make it a fair trade.

[NameIess]

I hand you a bar of chocolate, then hit it with a chocolate explodinator and take the sandwich from your charred corpse.

[Immortal Platypus]

My corpse rises.

"That was rude."

I point in your direction, horror evident on my face. When you look, I hit your atomically unstable chocolate explodinator and it explodes. I take the nicely toasted sandwich from your fallen body's hands.

[NameIess]

My fallen body stands up and hits your charred corpse with a shard of explodinatium, which explodes you again. Then I take the sandwich.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

My perfectly pristine and living body shoots both of you with tasers and skips along the path with the Sandwich in my clutches.

[Immortal Platypus]

"Boring!" I shout at you. You turn back to challenge me, at which point I steal the sandwich and walks down the path.

[NameIess]

I then runs away into the woods and disappears, cackling with laughter all the way.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I pop out of a hole and steal the sandwich.

[Immortal Platypus]

19 minutes ago, Nameless* said:

I then runs away into the woods and disappears, cackling with laughter all the way.

I yell at Nameless for improper grammar. I fill in Nerdy's hole and take the sandwich back.

 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I sue Platypus for the destruction of my hole. I get the sandwich as part of a settlement.

A few minutes later, I decide that this lawsuit was stupid and decide to reform the 17th Shard court system. I ask Platypus if he'd like to help me.

[NameIess]

I leaps from the ground and takes the sandwich, destroying the court system on his way out.

[Immortal Platypus]

6 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

I sue Platypus for the destruction of my hole. I get the sandwich as part of a settlement.

A few minutes later, I decide that this lawsuit was stupid and decide to reform the 17th Shard court system. I ask Platypus if he'd like to help me.

I agree and Nerdy and I reform the 17S court system. I am the official judge. And as Nerdy realized that their lawsuit was stupid, they gave the sandwich to me.

3 minutes ago, Nameless* said:

I leaps from the ground and takes the sandwich, destroying the court system on his way out.

I also sue Nameless for improper grammar.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Platypus and I agree to share the sandwich daily, as a measure to prevent rivalries from tearing the system apart. 

[Immortal Platypus]

We'll switch off who gets the sandwich, but if one person can't deliver, the other gets an extra day.