samsocial

why Shallan is not truthful to Adolin ?

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Shallan tells Kalidan that she killed her father, but she does not tell Adolin about this even after their marriage

At very end of RoW she tells about Gostblood (I assume) but not about her past

Does she really love Adolin ?

or Is she like Navani, choosing the saner option ? 

 

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Yes, I think she very much loves him, and especially throughout RoW she (and Kaladin, let's be honest) relied on Adolin's support when their own mental issues where peaking.  She cares about what Adolin thinks of her a lot more than Kaladin, which makes it harder to admit to shameful things. Adolin was the one that could see the difference between the three even when Shallan lost sight of it.  

All that being said, do we know for certain that she is still keeping it from him, as opposed to it just happening off-stage.  We know Adolin knows about Evie now, for example, even though it happened off screen.  It could be just an example of characters not pooping on screen (ie. we have to assume they do and it just wasnt plot relevant at the time).

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She and Kaladin shared a camaraderie, an understanding. She and Adolin share a romantic relationship. It's a bit different than friendship or a shared understanding, isn't it? She isn't sharing because she worries. There's a sense of needing to maintain the relationship, of what she thinks that Adolin thinks of her. 

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Shallan doesn't tell Adolin because she loves him and believes she'll lose him if she talks.

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4 hours ago, samsocial said:

Shallan tells Kalidan that she killed her father, but she does not tell Adolin about this even after their marriage

She does tell Adolin about her past. Just off-screen. Rythm of War, chapter 9, Contradictions:

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Edited by Bzhydack
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It's hard to understand for people who DON'T have "shameful" pasts or serious mental health challenges... but it's quite normal to keep secrets from the ones you love most.  The fear of losing their love once the truth is out is an incredibly powerful motivation, even in cases where it's unfounded. 

\WE know Adolin would never reject Shallan, no matter what she did, but deep inside, her emotional core is not capable of accepting this.  She is so ashamed of the things she has done, she can't trust that Adolin won't be repulsed once he finds out. 

I've been in this situation.  Despite the fact that the reality of "coming clean" is never as catastrophic as we fear, the fear is still quite real and can be paralyzing.

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I think it's because she loves him so much, she's afraid of pushing him away with the truth. Adolin is Shallans most significant relationship except for maybe Pattern.

 

Telling the truth to Kaladin is a little more complex, I think it might have been to divert him from the radiant shenanigans she was pulling off. 

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On 7/10/2021 at 8:53 PM, AquaRegia said:

It's hard to understand for people who DON'T have "shameful" pasts or serious mental health challenges... but it's quite normal to keep secrets from the ones you love most.  The fear of losing their love once the truth is out is an incredibly powerful motivation, even in cases where it's unfounded. 

There's nothing wrong in Shalan not telling Adolin about her murdering her parents. But if Kaliden knows this there is always a possibility of Adolin getting that information from Kaliden. This would be more terrible for their relationship. There's more fear of losing love by not being honest. Logically it doesn't make sense to hide this from Adolin when someone close to him already knows the secret.

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17 hours ago, samsocial said:

 Logically it doesn't make sense to hide this from Adolin when someone close to him already knows the secret.

Logically, this makes sense.  Emotions, however, are not logical.  Humans are not Vulcans; we all - even the best of us - sometimes make poor choices, destructive decisions, and hurtful actions based on emotion.  Sometimes, when someone has made a bad choice, their emotions won't allow them to admit making a mistake, and they double down even more strongly on that choice.  The pain of "being wrong" is perceived as greater than the pain of the consequences of the original bad decision.  Pride and ego can be subtly powerful... and fear even more so.

This would not have made much sense to me when I was 18 or 20... but now that I'm old (I've got about 10 years on Brandon) I can see it more clearly.

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